


So you're dating a yandere! yickes.

by kittyspring



Series: Sallarry anime troupes [1]
Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Almost Rape, Grinding, Love sick fools, M/M, Masturbation, Murder, Oral Sex, Scared larry, Sex in later chapters, Yandere, Yandere Sal, but no actual rape, fear for life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 87,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyspring/pseuds/kittyspring
Summary: Larry lives in a bad part of town so its not uncommon to get mugged but it is uncommon to witness a murder and live to contemplate if it really happened. Larry's determined to prove his sanity and catch the person he thinks killed.
Relationships: Sal Fisher/Larry Johnson
Series: Sallarry anime troupes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660888
Comments: 11
Kudos: 60





	1. The face in the dark

Its a dirty town, I don't mean there's trash and filth everywhere I mean the people. I don't know how up town is like but down here its vile. The whole section is run by gang members and dirty cops, hookers around every corner and sirens constantly on the go. It the type of place you don't wanna be wondering at night unless you know how to defend yourself. Its the type of place that makes you feel stuck and hopeless. Hate this dirty town.

But when you need something to eat cause you forgot to go grocery shopping it can't be helped. I took the route I always did, avoiding others eyes and just focusing on what I needed. I ignored the scratching of pavement behind me like someone was dragging their feet. Probably another walker but in this town you never know. I picked up my pace, being tall has its advantages sometimes. 

I thought I was fine till I was abruptly shoved into an ally way. The impact caught me off guard and I stumbled, falling to the floor. The harsh gravel cutting my hand as I fell. But there wasn't time to dwell on that. I looked up at the person that shoved me, ready to punch the basterd. I didn't see his face just the gleam of his teeth as he smiled then the click of a gun. I swallowed hard as my fight turned to flight. Fuck I'm gonna die, this is how it happened in a back ally shot for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just like all other murders written off as just gang activity. 

What is my mom gonna do with me gone, I'm the only one keeping her together. She'd have to move back home without me. The gun was placed at my face and my thoughts stopped the only thing running through me was 'death'. "Wallet" the man demanded. With shaky hands I slowly reached into my inner pocket of my leather jacket. I watched him hoping not to be shot as I grabbed my brown wallet and held it out. He grabbed it from me and I saw the mans drugged out eyes. 

Now that he had what he wanted I was convinced I was gonna be shot. But then he turned the gun around and hit me with it. I fell to the ground hard as a pain started in my head. The hit wasn't hard enough to knock me out just really hurt. I didn't hear him run off as I placed a hand over the spot and groaned. Fuck it hurt so bad, fucking druggy. Course the one night I go out I get mugged by some jagwagion doped up on something. 

I know I shouldn't stay there long or someone else might come around to finish the job. I had to get up, even though my sight was hazy I forced myself up. Using the wall to support me as I got up. My vision was still hazy I could of sworn I saw glowing blue for a second. I closed my eyes tight a few times till my vision cleared. There was nothing around. 

I sighed bitterly about the whole thing, good thing I don't keep my money in my wallet. Just my id, sin number, health card, school id, library card, grocery store rewards card. Fuck. I started walking out of the ally, I made it this far might as well finish the job. I turned to walk to the grocery store. Even if I wasn't hungry after that I'd be hungry later. Despite how I felt I went tot eh store. Still having a hard time seeing right but at least I wasn't bleeding. 

I grabbed some snacks, noodles pre cooked breaded chicken. I must of looked funny to the clerk cause she seemed scared as I used the line to keep myself steady. Didn't help that I took off my shoe to pay. Who's gonna take shoes though when they can take your wallet case in point. I took the bag and speed walked out of there. I just wanna get home and lay down maybe put some ice on my head. 

The noise didn't help the pain any, honking and car horns going off. Yelling and arguing, smokers coughing so violently they could be throwing up a lung. It's sickening and I don't have the tolerance for it all. The one noise that caught my attention and made me actually stop was a low gargling, like someone was choking. I looked around which rule one you ignore everything and keep going. But I couldn't what if someone was actually choking and no one was doing anything to help. They'd die just cause the world learned to ignore everything. 

I walked over to a gap between the buildings, there was no street light near by so I couldn't see anything. I hesitated, it was a dark corner of the street what was I suppose to do. I contemplated leaving I really didn't want to die tonight and this was just asking for it. I heard it again the gargling then a voice. "Help, help It's trying to kill me" the man said and that voice was so familiar. I quickly turned on my flash light on my phone despite the voice in my head telling me to run. 

I shun the light down the ally and saw the man that mugged me crawling on the floor, covered in blood. I was paralized for a second as I took in the sight. But then I saw a bloody hand grip his hair and I shun the light up. There was someone there, kneeling on him to keep him in place. The person was covered in blood, Hidden by a bloody mask. The person looked at me with the bluest eyes I've ever seen. They took a finger and set it over the masks mouth as if to say 'be quiet' then quickly gripped a knife and sliced the man open while staring at me. 

My mind screamed run, I bounced in my stands to get my legs moving and bolted as fast as I could out of there. I didn't care if my flash was still on and I was getting everyone's attention. I just saw a fucking murder. Like straight out of a slasher movie kind of murder. The image of that bloody mask was burned into my mind. I ran all the way home and charged up the stairs instead of taking the elevator to our apartment. I quickly unlocked the door and rushed inside. Locking everything and running to all windows to lock those two. I mean we're on the sixth floor so its unlikely someone could break in through the windows but what if they were an expert climber. 

I checked all the room just to be sure I was alone. Once it was safe I collapsed to the floor as my panic finally took over. The memory of what happened flashing in my mind, the gargling, the bloody mask, the slicing of the mans throat. Oh fuck why did I ever leave the house, who was I gonna tell the police won't do anything about it. What if it was gang activity I'd put a target on my back if I called the cops. Was it gang activity, I think the person was wearing a school uniform. 

Fuck now my memory is getting distorted. How was I suppose to sleep after that. A knock at the door caused me to scream. "Lar-bear you ok, hey open the door please" my mom called out, oh thank god it was just her. I rushed to the door to undo all our locks. I opened the door for her and she stepped in with her work bag. "Everything ok bebe" she asked her accent thick with worry. She always got like that whenever she was worried. 

"Ya" I took in a deep breath to calm down "just not a good night." I couldn't tell her what happened, she'd be worried about me for the mugging then wanna call the cops to give a witness statement of the murder. I didn't want to get targeted and the more I thought about it the more it didn't seem right. "Ya seems all the crazies are out tonight, It was murder trying to leave the hospital tonight, not even a full moon and there was so much carnage. Ah but I don't wanna talk about work how was school, did you go today" she asked me. 

I couldn't think of an answer, the conversation just seemed to normal for how I was, for what I saw. She kept talking but I didn't register it, sounded angry so i was probably being lectured but my mind was replaying the night. Or focusing on the throbbing pain in my head from where I was hit. "Oi querido" my mom snapped her fingers. "Que is wrong, you're pale are you getting sick" She reached out and placed a hand on my forehead and I flinched from the pain. That only made her more worried. Before I could run she grabbed my head and turned it. 

"Oh Lar what happened" she asked as she ran her hand over the forming bruise. I was caught and if I didn't tell her the truth she'd think I was fighting at school. Honestly that was probably for the better if she knew I got mugged she'd never let me leave the house again. "Uh a fight" I told her. She clicked her tongue then started lecturing me on how irresponsible I am and childish. Maybe she didn't use those words but it felt like that.

It was enough to calm me down some though, felt like that murder was so distant and unreal as she was standing before me lecturing me like nothing was wrong. When she was done she ordered me to my room. Grounded but I can live with that. I dragged my feet into my small room. Nothing but a, bed, dresser, nightstand and some stuff all over the floor. I sat down on my bed and laid down slowly. The night just didn't seem real, but I know I saw a murder happen. Why didn't the person come at me, their first victim was pretty much done for. So why didn't they stab me when they had the chance so there was no witnesses. 

A lot of questions ran through my head. Maybe they were confident they'd get away with it because their face was hidden. That horrific mask covered in blood. I shook as I thought about it. It was all my mind could focus on. 

Somewhere I had fallen asleep cause suddenly I was being chased by a man with a gun who was shooting this couple. I ducked into a small gap and hide in the dark corner as the man charged in. He stepped out and I almost felt relived. But I noticed something in the corner the only thing I could make out was a mask with a pink corner. A finger rested over the lips as if to stay quiet. I couldn't move and I probably should because the man would be back soon. And sure enough he did come back and looked right at me as he shot his gun right at my throat. 

I jolted awake, gasping as I stared out at my room. Flashes of my dream running through my head as I calm down enough to realize it wasn't real. I took in a deep breath in relive then noticed my room was lit up by the sun outside. I always kept my curtains closed cause I hated waking up to the sun. I look over at the window, ya the curtains were open shining down on my night stand where my wallet sat. Wait my wallet. I sat up and grabbed it. It was my wallet with all my Id and cards inside and it smelt like lemons. 

Where did it come from there was no way someone returned it to my mom and she set it down here. And no ones climbing up the building to bring it back. Most people would just throw it away once they realize there was no money inside. I got up and got dressed for school as I contemplated where it came from. But nothing seemed right or logical. I put on my leather jacket then set the wallet in my inner pocket. 

I stepped out of my room and grabbed a muffin from the kitchen. Mom was already gone to work or sleeping either way I didn't want to bother her. I left the apartment to walk to school. Durring the day the area wasn't so bad, there was a lot of street art around and businessy looking people walking to work. No hookers on the corners during the day and even some children played on the streets. Its just a bad place at night. 

I went to walk down my usual rout but something was nagging at me. I gulped as I turned my direction. Instead walking down the street to the grocery store. I don't know why but I had to see something. Had to go back to the area, maybe someone called it in and I won't feel so bad for just bolting. I slowly walked to the ally not sure what I'd find. Maybe no one called it in and the man was still laying there bloody and forgotten. I shivered at the thought. 

I walked up to the ally but no one was there, there was no police, no tape. I peered down and there was no body or blood. Nothing just trash. What the fuck there was a murder here there should be something and blood doesn't come out of gravel easily. I walked into the ally but it didn't smell like cleaning products or blood. Just garbage. I opened the dumpster but there was only trash in there. 

What the fuck wheres the body, the evidence, the blood. Did I really see a murder last night or was that like a nightmare. Like the one I had last night. That one felt so real I could still see the man in my mind as he shot me. Maybe I didn't see a murder, what if that was a concussion dream I had after the man hit me. What if I blacked out on my walk home and I just imagined it. But how did I get my wallet back. My head hurts. 

I walked up the hill to the school as I thought about it all. But my head was hurting from all the thoughts or maybe from the bruise forming on my head. "Yo Lar-bear" a voice called to me. Robert of course the loudest man on earth but the chilliest dude to be around. He waved at me as he jogged up. 

"Yo man did you hear the news" he asked. I knew it I knew I didn't dream it. "The murder on fifth" I asked. "What no there was no murder man, nah I'm talking about that virus going around apparently it shut down a country I'm livid" he started laughing. "can you imagine being so scared of getting sick the government just shuts down the whole country for a month" he was in tears. "Heh ya" it wasn't funny but my mind was somewhere else, contemplating my own memory. 

"Hey man whats wrong with you" he nudged me. "Huh oh I just um...kinda had a bad dream dude or maybe it was real I don't know" I stammered out not knowing how to tell anyone about what I saw or didn't see. He nodded at me "I like I don't know thought I saw someone get their throat slashed but I also had a dream where I got shot and that felt really real and I hit my head hard so like my minds all hazy. But I went by the spot I thought and there was nothing. I think I dreamt it but it felt so real" I know my sentences didn't make sense. But nothing made sense, I was so confused and my head was killing me.

"Ya I wasn't gonna say anything but I noticed the bruise. You ok" he was kinda taller then me so I had to look up a little to catch his gaze. "Ya just scattered I guess" I went to touch the side of my face but it hurt. "Maybe you should of stayed home" he sounded concerned. "Nah my mom would have me by the toes if I skipped school again" it was true. I skipped school a lot and she started getting on my case about it. 

"Ya I hear that my moms the same 'I an't letting you turn into some hoodlom begging for change or drugs on the street your gonna go to school and graduate and get into a nice collage'" he mimicked as he wagged his finger. I laughed cause ya that's what mothers sound like. I looked out at the hill where students were walking up and my heart stopped. My throat wouldn't swallow to afraid to move even the slightest. 

In the mix of school uniforms I saw a pearly white winter uniform with a yellow sweater over top. Sure it was cold but it was getting warmer, but what got me was the mask. A white mask with a pink corner, spotless of any blemishes. And piercing blue eyes, the bluest eyes I've ever seen. They looked right at me and I swore the person pressed a finger to the masks lips. I couldn't move, I wanted to run but my feet were stuck. 

The person stared right at me as they walked. Then they stopped a few feet away and just stared. My heart was hammering, this person killed someone or I dreampt they did. But it was enough to make my blood run cold. Suddenly I was hit in the ribs and the air was knocked out of me. I looked over at Robert as I ran a hand over my chest. "Ow" I told him bitterly. "Dude don't stare, sup little lady" the man winked at the killer. They didn't answer instead they stared at Robert for a second before walking away. 

"Geeze talk about creepy" the man commented. But I barely heard it, I turned to watch as the killer walked up the school steps and into the building. My heart was hammering with fear as flashes of the murder ran through my mind. The blood, the signal to stay quiet, the slashing of the throat, I remember they were wearing a school uniform. But there was no body, no blood, no report. Was it real or did I dream it all and if I dreampt it why was that person in my dreams. I'd never seen them before, I would of remembered a mask like that. 

"Come on buddy lets get you to class before you pass out, you're looking a little pale" Robert placed a hand on my shoulder and forced me to walk with him. The morning was turning hazy as we walked up the steps and into the locker lobby.


	2. sights

I forgot about gym. There's no way in hell I can do physical activity like this. My head still hurts and just doing the stairs was a challenge. Its cold outside so we had to run laps inside as a warm up for whatever bullshit we're doing today. It was murder not just cause running sucks but I started seeing spots halfway through. Everything was getting blurry and I couldn't see right, Man I'm gonna collapse. Luckily I was grabbed by Robert before I actually did. 

He grabbed my arm and we both stopped running. "Dude you ok, you seriously look pale" he sounded so worried. I'd laugh if I didn't feel so dizzy. "Ya just *pant* my head hurts" it was all I could say. "Hey you two if your gonna lollygag you can get the mats" the teacher yelled at us. He's such a bossy asshole. "Psh says it like I wasn't next on his chart to grab equipment" Robert mumbled. Whatever as long as I get to stop. 

I grabbed on to his arm and straightened up. "You good" he asked me. "Ya I'll be fine" I don't know if that was a lie or not, I blinked a couple times and my vision did clear a little. Robert started pulling me so I'd fallow him to the equipment room. I tried to walk normal but it felt like I was swaying so bad, Robert held my shoulder as we walked to keep me steady. "Dude you should go to the nurses office I think you have a concussion" he was trying to tell me. I know I have a concision, you don't get wacked in the head and come out fine. But if I went to the nurses office they'd call my mom and she has enough to worry about. She doesn't need to freak out over my health. 

As we walked over to the double doors I noticed something, we both did. As the majority of the class ran passed the doors I saw it. The thick mask with the pink corner over the right side. I froze as I watched the person run by, their blue hair was tied in a pony tail and swaying around as they ran. Why was everything slowing down. They looked over at us, at me. Those sharp blue eyes staring into my soul, freezing my chest. Suddenly I was pulled by the hand on my shoulder. 

I blinked then looked at Robert. "Come on" he said and I snapped out of it. I blinked and looked around but that person was nowhere, was I just imagining them. "You sure you're ok" we walked to the doors while there was a gap between students. "Ya just hazy still" we opened the doors and place the door stoppers underneath. "Man I hate Wednesdays, basketball sucks" he complained and I had to snicker. He really did hate basketball, he was notoriously bad at it despite how tall he is. "That's cause your bad at it" I told him and he rolled his eyes. We split off to opposite sides of the room. 

I went to a small bin to grab the net jerseys for teams while he went to grab a ball that wasn't deflated. I was feeling a little better, able to stand on my own two feet and see clearly. Man concussions suck. "I just don't get the basketball hype" he was so funny sometimes. I grabbed a few shirts then looked over at him to tease. But something caught my eye, the shelf above him moved slightly. 

The shelf was unstable it was held to the wall by straps and held mats on it. That's just asking for trouble. But the straps have never moved before, One of them was mostly cut and splitting slowly. It was gonna fall "Robert look out" I called as I rushed over. But there wasn't enough time the strap snapped and the shelf fell. I just managed to grab the back of his shirt before he was hit. He still got hit but the shelf and mats fell on his leg instead of his head. 

He yelled on impact but I continued to drag him out of the mess. He gripped his leg but didn't move it. "Ah fuck it hurts I-I think it's broken" he hissed out. I looked over his leg, it was starting to swell and bruise already. "Whats going on" the teachers voice called. I looked out at the gym "he- the shelf fell one of the straps broke" I tried to tell. "That's impossible they're new" the man reasoned. I was gonna argue cause was he seriously trying to pin blame while a student was hurt. But a gleam caught my eye. 

I looked out at the class where the shine was coming from. The light was reflecting off a pair of scissors, what. I watched them be moved behind a girls gym uniform then noticed who was holding them. I gripped Roberts arm as my body became cold, I watched as the person brought a finger to the mask on their face and placed it over the lips. Did they cut the straps, were they trying to hurt Robert. "Alright Johnson take him to the nurse" the teacher ordered. 

I looked at him, my brain trying to process everything. "Now" he shouted. I jumped to my feet then linked my arms under Roberts biceps to pull him up. He yelled in pain but I still tried. Once he was up I threw his arm over my shoulders to be his legs. The class watched as we walked across the gym, murmuring and whispers starting up as they all conger some op seen rumors. But I wasn't really paying attention, my sights were stuck on the small blue teen just as their gaze was stuck on me. I know they're staring at me and not the scene, their gaze was just to centered. As I stared at those vibrant turquoise eyes I swore his pupils turned into hearts for a second. 

*****

Today sucked. Both me and Robert laid in beds at the nurses office. All the physical work made me super dizzy and I couldn't see straight once we got there. Thank god the nurse didn't care for her job so she didn't press to check me out. "Man this school sucks who thought putting mat's on a shelf was a good idea and holding it up with straps like a fucking seat belt that's stupid" Roberts ranted. "Ya seriously" I didn't tell him about the cut, cause as I think about it it just doesn't seem real. The straps were already a bad Idea of course they were gonna split over time. 

I'm also sure I didn't actually see a pair of scissors, I've been seeing spots all morning and my visions been in and out it was probably just another thing I was hallucinating. My minds not exactly trust worthy right now with this fucking concision, also who would bring a pair of scissors to gym class. Another point how would they be able to hide the pair, their was no pockets in the gym uniform and they were pretty form fitting so there's no hiding it in the shorts. 

"Can't believe it's not broken that's BS" the man continued. "Broken means its snapped fractured means there's a crack along the bone, could also just be sprained and your joint is the thing that's broken." "Dude you spent way to much time at the hospital" he chuckled. "Someones gotta keep my mom company on her shift" I closed my eyes cause they started to sting. "Dude don't fall asleep" Robert warned. "The only issue is slipping into a coma, I'm fine I slept last night so it's not that bad" the conversation ended. 

I think I did pass out for a second cause next thing I knew the paramedic were beside me. I jolted up then groaned at the pain in my head. "Look who's awake" Robert laughed. "Alright hold on were gonna move you to the stretch" one of the paramedic told. They were grabbing the sheet Robert way laying on then lifted him and placed him on the stretch as quick as they could. Once he was on they checked him over and started to wheel him away. He waved goodbye as they passed and I waved back. 

Guess there was no reason for me to stay if h was taken care of. So I got up and left to plus home ec was gonna start and I was really hungry. I walked to the class room and went inside. The room had no desks or chairs just kitchen areas all over the room. Every pair got their own station and mine was near the door. Todd was already stationed at the oven with a pot and some ingredients out. 

"Hey" I greeted a little tired. Man maybe Robert was right I should of stayed awake cause now I'm super tired. "Hello, I was wondering if we could make this today" he showed me a recepie for potato soup. Todd's pretty bad in the kitchen, he doesn't know how to cook or prepare food properly cause he fallows the books to a tea and you can't do that unless you want you want the dish to turn out bland. He just doesn't get that cooking is an art not a science. So I always take the lead on anything we make. 

"Ya, peel the potatoes, I'll cut the vegetables and mix the cream" I went to the counter to wash the vegetables, he always forgets since its not written down. "Um shouldn't you look at the recipe first" he asked, dude makes me laugh. "Nah man I know how to make soup" ok so I shouldn't be cutting or using sharp objects right now. But it should be fine just take it slow. 

I mixed the cream first so I could set it to a slow boil as I cut the vegetables. "So I heard what happened in your gym class" Todd started. He always liked to fact check the rumors he hears. "Ya" I just kept cutting but I was curious what people were saying. "I was told you were horsing around and climbing on the shelf when it snapped and fell on Robert" typical. "What dude no we were grabbing equipment when the shelf fell, the strap split" I corrected. "Hmm uh huh except those straps are actually sturdy they don't split of splinter unless cut, its more likely the plastic hanging there snapping from the weight." I stopped cutting at looked at him. 

"W-what" I was baled, if Todd said something was impossible it was impossible. I did think it looked cut but it couldn't of, could it. "So maybe someone cut it or maybe the plastic broke and it fell" he continued. He spoke theory's and my gaze shifted out at the room as I replayed the scene in my head. It did look cut that's why I yelled to warn him. 

I blinked and my vision focused, There they are in my home ec class to. On the other side of the room stood that person with the eerie mask. How haven't I noticed them before, their kinda hard to miss. What with the sky blue hair and sharp eyes hidden under a thick mask with a pink corner. I swallowed hard, why did they scare me so much. Was it the dream I had, was it a dream did I really witness a murder. No that's crazy their uniform would be stained from the blood and it wasn't. Actually now that they weren't wearing the sweater is was pretty clean. Almost to clean.

"Larry quite staring at his prosthetic its rude" Todd whispered harshly. I looked at him as I processed what he said. "Oh sorry, wait did you say prosthetic." "Yes you know I'm surprised you didn't recognize the material as your mom does work in the medical field" he's so matter of factly. "I've never seen a face prosthetic before, I mean glass eyes sure but nothing like that...does he like not have a face or something" I know it's rude to ask but if anyone would know it be Todd, dude knows everything. 

"Don't be ridiculous of course he has a face underneath other wise he'd have to be quarantine. I suppose it could just be a mold to help shape his face while he grows, or maybe its to protect the soft tissue from the atmosphere while he heals. Maybe both, I don't know sally's not one for speaking much especially about himself" the man rambled. "S-Sally" I asked, was that his name Sally. Was that a given name or a pick out, was he trans and Todd was using the wrong pronounce, or non binary, or switch. "Well I think his names Sal but everyone calls him Sally face because of the prosthetic and the pig tails...and yes the girl uniform but he's part of that gender equality march like Ash. He's in my class 1-A the highest classroom in the school also known as the smart class. A bit separation putting the smartest kids in the same class" he started ranting in his ramble. 

As he spoke more about how he hated the separation I tuned him out. I looked over at Sally was his name. He was mixing together ingredients as he cooked, expertly if I was really paying attention. But I wasn't, I was glued to the sight of his mask. It was thick and covered all of his face including his chin and forehead. There was two wide straps holding it around his head. It looked clean, no traces of blood anywhere. But of course there wasn't he didn't kill anyone I was just dreaming. But something nagged at the back of my head that something just wasn't right. 

Those giant eyes looked at me and I felt like the color was stabbing my chest. He seemed to jump as I looked at him, I think he's surprised its kinda hard to tell though. He brought up a shaky hand and waved a little. Oh shit I was creeping him out, ya he probably hates people staring cause of the prosthetic. Way to be an ass without speaking. I offered a smile just so he didn't think I was staring like an ass, I waved back and he placed his hand close to his chest. I'm so stupid he wasn't harmful he was anxious that's why he doesn't talk. Not gonna lie the sight was kinda cute, his ears started turning pink and I wanted to laugh kinda in relief but also cause it was adorable. 

"Larry the pot" Todd suddenly shouted and I spun around quickly. The pot was boiling harshly. I quickly went to turn off the heat. Man I was really our of it I could of sworn I set it to a low boil. "Maybe you should fallow the instructions on the page" I sighed this man needs to learn to live outside of a book. 

Despite the heat scare the soup turned out fine. Even if Todd went on about it tasting better if I fallowed the recipe but I know he loved it. I packed up the rest to take to work, man should I even work today. I guess not I'd just make it worse, I'll go in though just to show my dick of a manager the severity of my injury. Once the boss sees it she'll have to let me stay home. I rinsed out the container I had in my bag then packed the left overs. 

It's soup so I didn't feel comfortable throwing it in my bag, if it spills it'll take me hours to clean it up. "Do you have Mr willow" Todd asked as we left the room. "Ya he's suppose to show a video in class which mean I get to draw in the back" I stuck out my tongue at him, I know hes not impressed that's why I said it. "Don't you think you should be paying attention he's showing the video for a reason" exactly what I thought he'd say. "Ya so he doesn't have to do a lecture and can relax for the last class, Id do the same if I was him" I laughed. "Slacker" "nerd" he chuckled at that. 

We turned the corner and immediately I was hit by something. A fucking football seriously. It hit me and cause me to drop my container of soup. It split open once it hit the ground and now my dinner was on the dirty school floor. "Oh no" Todd said way to calm. "Are you fucking kidding me" I was furious we barely had anything in the house as is home ec was the only way I ate during the day. I mean ya I had some stuff at home but that had to last us for awhile, i'm not like my mom I can't make something out of nothing. I picked up the foot ball, my anger getting the best of me. 

"Oops sorry" someone chuckled from the hall. Fuck it I threw the damn ball as hard as I could and it send the man to the ground. Good now he knows how my soup feels. "Larry" Todd questioned beside me. I sighed to try and calm down "man that was my dinner, now I got nothing" I wasn't thinking as I spoke. "I think I have a sandwich from lunch" Todd went to take off his bag. "No it's fine, I'm gonna go tell the office" I picked up the messy container and turned to walk the way we came. Already a group was forming to look at the mess, fuck this school is so nosy. 

Among them was that eerie mask, for a second I didn't see the person wearing it and I got a flash of my dream. Where it was the only thing in the dark I could see before getting shot. I quickened my pace and just went for the office. 

****

Fuck today honestly. The big boss wasn't in today which what the fuck the one day I want them in is the day they decide not to micromanage us. So of course I had to work my full shift then walk home at night through the same fucking street I did or did not see a damn murder. As if anger wasn't enough now I got paranoia, thinking I'm being fallowed or someones gonna come out and attack me out of nowhere. Fuck this town. 

I made it home no thanks to mild panic, I stepped inside and the house smelt like food. Oh god that smelt good I'm so hungry. I locked the door then looked over at the dining table. There was a plate set of brown rice and vegetables with some chicken. Fuck that looked amazing. Mom must have stopped by on her break and cooked me dinner, she does that sometimes. It's nice coming home to a cooked meal. I sat down and just dug in. It was so good I could cry. So sweet even though it was bitter foods, she was an amazing cook sometimes. 

I heard a creek from my room and stopped eating. Normally I would knock it up to a creaky apartment cause it was, but I've been so paranoid I started panicking that someone was in my apartment. I got up and started heading to my door. I threw it open but there was nothing out of the ordinary, except for and open window. I don't remember opening the window before I left today. 

I walked over to it and stuck my head out to look outside. There was nothing, no evidence that someone had escaped through the window. I mean who would its the sixth floor, sure there's fire escapes lining the wall but you couldn't reach them with out a ladder of your own cause the first two floors have been taken off. Nah I'm just being stupid again. I looked over and noticed gavel falling from the top of the window where a stone ledge sat. Not to weird the windows were old stone and dirt loved to sit on top. I wet back inside and closed the window. 

It was still chilly out I really should remember to close the window after letting in some fresh air. I left the room to finish my meal. Still on edge but I finished the food then cleaned up the dishes. I got ready for bed, having a shower to wash all away this filth then looking around for some boxers. As I looked around my room I noticed my favorite boxers were gone. The old pair of Jason boxers I had just gone. Fuck I hate the stupid washing machine it keeps eating my clothes. 

Whatever I'm to tired to care. I just lay down boxer-less in protest. Man I hat the apartment washer, first my socks then my favorite red hoodie I wore all the time and now my boxers. Augh.


	3. I'm not a stalker I swear

Robert came back like not even a day after being gone. He wanted everyone to sign his cast, which was a wrong move cause a bunch of his buddy's drew dicks on his cast. I can't help but laugh It's to funny. 

"Man shut up" he groaned at me as we sat on a bench for lunch. "Like why man, you had to of known, give a boy a marker he's gonna draw dicks" I was laughing so hard. "Whatever can you turn them into something else" he huffed. "Oh ya for sure" I took out my sharpies from my bag and kneeled down on the dirty path. I started drawing over the dicks, using them as a base and turning them into other things. Like cats, or planes, or hot dogs. Ok so I'm hungry and dicks look like hot dogs. But my best work was when he stood up so I could fix the back. It was to perfect I took yellow sharpy cause you wouldn't really notice it at a glance. I drew on the most detailed erect penis. 

It was my masterpiece, I was trying so hard not to laugh to loud and alert him so I laid down for a second so I wasn't looking at it. It was so damn funny. "Hey there Lar-bear whats so funny" I opened my eyes to see Ash standing over me. She was still carrying out that equality movement so she was wearing a male school uniform. I sat up then pointed to Robert who was still turned away so I could fix the art work. "He's laughing at all these assholes that drew dicks on my cast, came out here to have a good time and they attacked me" Robert explained. 

But he didn't know what I drew. I had to wipe away some tears that started to form. It was to funny I pointed at the yellow dick and Ash squinted at the art. She gasped and tapped my arm "Larry that's not funny" she sounded to amused though. "Right what a bunch of, of...dicks" we both broke out in a laugh at that. I went to set my arms behind me so I could lean back but I touched someone by accident. "Oh sorry" I said as I turned to look up at them. 

I really should of paid attention to my surroundings cause the person was wearing a skirt and I accidentally saw their underwear before I saw who was standing there. They had on Jason Vooheers boxers like the ones I lost. I jumped up to my feet once I saw, crap I just looked up someones skirt like a pervert. "Ah sorry I didn't mean to-" I swallowed my words when I saw who it was. Sally held down his skirt with one hand while the other was pressed to his prosthetic, like he was trying to cover a blush no one could see. 

"What happened" Ash asked, I really didn't want to tell her she'd tear into me verbally if I did. Sally walked over to her and lightly grabbed her sleeve. Damn he's so bashful its adorable. "Later I guess" Ash told us then started walking away with Sal holding her sleeve. "Ah wait Sal I'm sorry" he stopped. Hopefully that means he'll accept my apology. He turned around and blinked at me a few times "Y-you know my name" he asked in the deepest voice I've ever heard. It startled me for a second cause damn dude sounded like Ollie from bring me the horizon minus the accent. 

"Uh ya" I smiled a little, feeling even more nervous now. He blinked and I swore when he opened his eyes his pupils were heart shaped. I heard him giggle and dang even if his voice was super deep it was still a cute giggle. "See you in home ec" he waved then turned around to jog up to Ash. Fuck it was adorable. "So uh guess that's a guy" Robert shrugged. "Ya he's part of the gender equality march" I watched as he walked with Ash. Something didn't look right about his shoes, there was a red blotch on the back of one. could be paint, could be blood. Why can't I let this go it was so clearly a dream. 

"So got a nice pantie shot" I jolted at the question. "What" I asked and Robert winked at me. "I saw you looking up, you pervert, so what does he wear" I rolled my eyes at him. "Jason Vooheers boxers, like the ones I got" or rather had cause they're missing now. "Oh nice yall got the same tastes, you gonna hit that" he laughed. It's a joke cause he knows I don't like having sex with people. "Shut up man" I pushed I'm but he was unstable with the busted leg. Almost fell and I grabbed him. 

**** 

So I can't let it go, I was staring at him all class, even cut myself as I was chopping onions. Fuck my live that stung. The quesadilla turned out amazing though. I was even staring at him as school let out I watched him walk down a street and I kinda wanted to fallow. That was stupid. It's not like I wanna stalk him but what if what I've been seeing is real. What if he did cut the strap and hurt Robert what if he killed someone. 

I've been checking there's been no reports about it, nothing about the guy even going missing. Even asked Roberts mom and she said nothings popped up about a guy matching that description. Told her he was just someone I saw around and haven't seen him in a bit so I was worried. I don't wanna scare anyone in case it is just a dream. 

But I'm starting to become obsessed with finding some evidence. It's effecting my sleep, I can't stop thinking about it. 

On the walk to school Tuesday morning I was already dead on my feet. My head still huts but the bruising died down, kinda turned yellow but its smaller then it was a few days ago. I Yawned As I walked into the school. "Someone looks tired" One of my buddies stated as I walked in. "Not now Chug I'm so dead today" I dragged my feet to my lockers. "Big mood" Robert chuckled as he walked over to my locker with his crutches. 

"I hear that stayed up all night talking to Maple, girl like never sleeps" Chug told. "Oh thats so cute yall gonna tie the knot yet" I smirked at Roberts question. Chugs been flirting hard with this goth girl for awhile but still hasn't worked up the courage to ask her out. I opened my locker and noticed a pink envelope inside. I grabbed my bag out of the locker and took out the letter. There was a heart sticker folding it down. 

"Oh shit Larry's got a love letter" as if on que everyone crowded the space. Suddenly there was guys everywhere wanting to know what was inside. Like Hell I was gonna open it in front of people this was personal. "Thanks loud mouth" I almost hissed at Robert. "Open it" he chanted. Some of the other guys chanted to. This fucking school is so nosy. "Larry Johnson don't you dare, some sweet girl or guy or whom ever poured their heart out in that letter don't you dare broadcast it" Ash screamed out. I saw her in the mix, standing beside her was Sal. 

He stared at me so intensely it made me feel vulnerable. Or maybe that was just the situation. "I wasn't going to" I shouted back. "Nah he's a good boy" Robert informed then took the letter out of my hand. He held it up high and started opening it as he tried to waddle away without his crutches. "Seriously" I asked cause it was ridiculous. I took a step and caught up to him immediately. But even though I'm pretty tall he's slightly taller. He opened it and took the letter out. "Haha" he cheered. 

"First sentience yall 'I could write a thousand letters but none would rightfully convey the way I feel about you' oh ho" I tried to pull him down but someone else grabbed the letter. Fucking hate this school. "It's a feeling that consumes me and makes me feel like I'm walking on air. When I see you smile or hear you laugh my heart explodes with how full it feels" some guy taunted then laughed. I would of grabbed it but one of his buddies held me back. Seriously I'm gonna start swinging.

" I've been buying my time trying to work up the courage to let you know how I feel how adorable I find each of your different smiles, how your voice sounds like helium and i'm floating with every word. The terror in your eyes sending shivers through me.' What the fuck that's so phyco" I managed to get by the asshole and charged for the letter augh but Roberts a class a dick. He grabbed it again and damn I wish I was just a bit taller. 

"Everything about you is perfect' seriously what a nut case" "Sounds like Johnson's gonna get stuffed like some trophy" the group laughed. "Oh Larrith Johnson 'Lately I'm noticing your staring back at me. Knowing things about me the way I know about you. We're the same and I can't keep it to myself anymore" he passed it back over then purposely fell back on be so we'd both fall to the ground. This fucking asshole and his stupid going limp bullshit. I threw him off as fast as I could so i could stand up. 

"Meet me behind the school at 4. Don't tell anyone I don't like witnesses and the people here are to nosy for their own good' someones getting murdered" the group laughed. I got up and threw a fist hard at the guy. Fuck him and his stupid antics, If Robert wasn't already injured I would punch him to. The guy hit the lock hard but I couldn't bring myself to care. These jerks read out someones heart then laughed at it. 

"Larry" "Fuck you" the room went silent except for Ash calling me out and the guy holding his nose. "Whats going on down there" a teacher asked. I just glared at the guy cause if he said one word I'd kick his ass. "Nothing hit my face off the locker" he lied. "Go to the nurse" the man glared back but he walked away. Once the teacher was gone his buddy pushed me against the lockers. "After school Johnson you die" he threatened. "I'd like to see you try" I pushed him back. The man was a wuss puss one hit and he's down. 

He even looked scared now. "Idiot" I heard someone mumble. I saw them crumple up the paper and throw it out. "Hey" I called out and the guy dashed away. Fucking pussy all of them. The crowed dispersed after that. "Hey man try not to get into a fight ok" Chug tried to tell me. But fuck I'm so angry that letter was suppose to be a private thing and now its broadcasted. I wish I knew who wrote it so I can apologize to them and fat chance their gonna be behind the school after that. 

"Come on Sally" Ash walked by with the man fallowing her. He kept his head down as he walked but I could of sworn I saw water drop from the mask. He was shaking a little as they walked by it made me think for a second if he was the one that wrote the letter. "Hey a little help" Robert asked and I immediately became angry again. "Suffer" I told him then walked over him, making sure to hit his leg a little. "Ah son of a fuck" he cursed at the pain. I reached into the trash and pulled out the crumpled letter. I tried to smooth it out then fold it properly. I slipped it into the front pocket of my jacket sweater. 

I left Robert on the floor so it didn't surprise me when he didn't show up to gym class. Actually as I looked out at the classroom a few people were missing. The guy that threatened me, the guy I punched. Sally wasn't around either. The teacher didn't seem to care he still forced us all to play dodge ball. Until the sprinklers went off and soaked everyone. The girls screamed as we all tried to cover from the water. "The hell" As the teacher looked around confused the fire alarm started. 

"Oh alright everyone single file out the back" he shouted and we all lined up to leave out the gym door. It was freezing outside and the water didn't help. But it looked like we weren't the only ones soaked, half the school looked like they were drowned. Like the sprinkler system went hye wire and sprayed everyone. 

Once attendance was taken people started moving lines to be with their friends. But my friend wasn't in class he was on the floor. Oh shit he was on the floor. "Mr. Hagen Robert might still be inside, he was laying on the floor un able to get up last I saw him." "What and you left him on the ground" the man shouted at me. "Alright class I'll be right back" we both rushed to the front of the school. God I can't belive how stupid I am, I knew he couldn't get up and no one would help him up but I left him there anyway. I was so angry I left him to die. If he got hurt I'd never forgive myself. 

We ran around the building where the lockers are. Immediately I saw Robert. I rushed over to him, thank god hes ok. "Robert" I called to him so thankful he was alright. I hugged him and held him close so he wouldn't fall. "Oof h-hey there" he patted my back then hugged me. "I'm ok man, Sally dragged me out" as he said that I looked out at the line of people. Sal stood off to the side of everyone. He was wet like the rest of us but his hands were black, was that soot like fire starting soot. 

I held Robert tighter with fear. I looked over at the locker room, just beyond the glass door was a raging fire. I looked back at him and he was wiping the soot on his black stockings. He started it, I don't know how or why but he did it. I know he did. "Lar-bear I'm ok really, Sally saved me man we almost didn't make it but he found a way to the doors" he told me. But how much of it could I believe, this wasn't a concision hallucination. But I didn't know for sure if it was soot. Except I did, cause it's all I could smell of Robert now. 

I looked at his arm and he had black finger prints on him. "Its ok you don't have to shake" I was shaking. But it wasn't cause I was crying. There was a war in my head. 

Sally is a small dude with a timid way about him. Obviously some trauma happened that makes him wear a prosthetic which clouds parts of his sight. Logically there's no way he A. murdered someone B. cut the straps to the shelf C. set fire to the locker room. For one there's no way to do all three without leaving some form of evidence. Two he's just a highschool student how would he know how to dispose of a body or set a fire. The only clue I have is concussed visions and a fear written delusion. I mean Robert said it wasn't soot on him it was ash. But Sal also tried to hide it. 

My mind is spinning and I can't keep myself asleep. Also my paranoia spiking cause I keep waking up to the window being open when I distinctly remember closing it. I'm exhausted, Schools been out for two days due to repairs and clean up. They said we can come back tomorrow but we can't use the lockers. Everyone's pretty pissed cause a lot of books and valuables were scorched in the fire. Even one of my sketch books was scorched. 

So I had to go out and buy a new one. It was money I was saving for a canvas but a sketch book is more important to me. Besides canvases are useless without paint. I dragged my feet to the art store. I needed some inking pens to now that I think about it. Great. 

I walked through the store as quick as I could, just in and out before I spend more money. Don't go down the paint aisle don't even look down it. Except I had to, a flash of blue caught my eye and my heart stopped. I swallowed hard then slowly looked down the aisle. Standing by the shelves was Sally. He had on this flowy blue dress with giant buttons on the front and a large collar spread out on his shoulders. He had a fluffy white stare purse and blue marry kates. Fuck it was so adorable. 

Instead of approaching him I bolted to the next aisle. My heart started racing as I looked at the different yarns in the Aisle. He was here, why was he here. Was he gonna set this place on fire to. Or is he buying murder weapons. I Sigh out loud, this is so stupid I'm suspicious for nothing. Like what if he really was just helping out Robert and not starting a fire. Then I'd be the ass that thought he was a bad person. I walked down the aisle and peeked out to look down at the paint section. He was holding out some colors I couldn't see. And wouldn't cause he started looking down my way. 

I quickly jumped back into the aisle. I hope he didn't see me. But there's no way he didn't I'm pretty clumsy. I walked back a few Aisles in case he went searching. A peered out from the shelves. He left the paint section and walked towards the cash register. Now I saw that he had a canvas with him and a paint kit. Was he a painter to. What kinds of things did he like to create. I slowly fallowed, keeping more of a distance so he didn't see me. 

He wasn't looking at the store clerk though, he was looking at the window. He giggled but why no one said anything funny. He took the objects and left the store. I stepped out of my hiding spot and went to walk. I noticed my reflection in the window, it was clear. Shit I hope he didn't notice me when he looked outside. 

He walked passed the parking lot and across the street. He went inside a pet shop. No I wasn't going in what if he saw me. Besides he came out not even ten minutes later with cans of cat food. He walked around the open shopping center and dipped into HMV. I love that store they have the best band merch and cds. Their movies are meh. I walked in after him the quickly hid by a section of awful movies. I had to crouch down cause I'm to damn tall. 

No I'm not stalking him. If he's guilty he'll slip up in some way shape or form. They always do. Ok maybe I've watched to many cop shows and listened to Roberts mom to much. I peered out at the store. Sal was in the rock/punk section looking over the cds. Was he picking something out, was he looking for new bands to listen to. He picked out a cd then stretched. As he raised his hand high I saw the cover. Oh shit It was sanity's fall first album. That's my favorite album. Maybe we did like the same things. 

Jason, painting, hard rock. Ok three things but even having three things in common is a little weird. He bought the cd then left. He went to a burger joint and got my some food idk I didn't go it. He'd spot me if I did so I hid behind a car. Sal sat down by the window. It was kinda weird watching him eat, he didn't take the prosthetic off he just reached under at ate his fries. How was he gonna eat the burger. I mean logically It moves cause he can remove it but how did he eat. 

But as I watch him I can't help wondering why is he doing all this alone. Why isn't he out with a friend enjoying the day off. Why aren't I out with a friend and instead fallowing this guy around. This was so stupid and a little creepy. Even if he did commit a crime he wasn't gonna slip up on random. Nah if I really wanted proof or something I'd have to get close to him. Be his friend and take opportunities to snoop around. If he doesn't turn out to be a criminal then ya I got a friend. Augh this was crazy.

It took him awhile to eat and honestly I felt sick for watching. He left the joint then walked to a book store. The place was big with tall shelves so it was easy for me to hide. Something I really wish I wasn't doing. Sal looked over the teen section, not really looking for something specific just reading the backs of books. Boring. Todd did say he was in the smart class so maybe he liked to read for fun. He left the teen section to glance around true crime and mystery. Not really suspicious behavior since lots of people like that stuff. 

Eventually he did leave without buying anything. What a loyder. It was dark out now, great now all the weirdos and blood lust people are gonna get rowdy. If I'm fallowing him I might as well make sure he gets home safe. And just as it happens he cuts through thee worst park to travel in at night. A lot of drug dealing goes down at this park plus there's no lights inside so quite a few murders. 

I went in anyway, if he's cutting through I'd never live with myself if he got hurt and I could of been there to help. I try to stay on the path in hopes I find him and find him on the other side save and sound. I walk into a clearing and its lit, actually lit up. Not by much but still I walk into the clearing and shit he's sitting on the fountain edge. 

He started turning and I have no where to run, fuck I've been caught. He looked over at me and I freeze. For so many reasons, one majorly being he's not wearing his mask. His face is open. There's deep scares running all over his face, red blotches of scare tissue and skin graphs mixing. Geez either someone went knife happy on his face or it was shredded. Either way it looked painful. 

He began to smile and his mouth split into a cat like grin. Like the Cheshire cat if he was human. It was super adorable, as an artist my weakness is mouths. Got a curly mouth and plump cupids bow and I'm putty. And that's exactly what he has. "What are you doing" he asked like he was expecting me. I swallowed hard "A j-just passing through" he raised a scared brow at my lame explanation. 

"Just ya walkin by doin me ya know, definitely not like fallowing you or anything pff what who even said that" he got up and I started to panic. Shit he's gonna think I'm a total stalker and I guess today I was. What was I even doing fallowing him around hoping he'd what commit arson and I can film it so I don't think I'm crazy. I have no proof just a jumbled brain and oh shit he's walking up to me. 

"I-I just see there um. You were uh" the wind was knocked out of me as I fell back. Something hit me, or rather someone had thrown themselves at me. I opened my eyes and Sal was over me. His eyes were half lidded but I could still see his pupils. They were heart shaped like actual hearts, a blush spread over his face and he sighed like he'd been holding something in.

"I Knew you were the same, fallowing me around all day, so curious you couldn't help it just like me. I've wanted to tell you for a year but I never had the courage your just so perfect. But I can't hold back anymore just knowing you were fallowing me to it makes my heart swell." I had no Idea what was going on this man was rambling and I feared for my life. I felt something on my leg and it wasn't the man little friend. It was a knife, I'm sure of it I sharp knife digging into me threatening to cut. Fuck he was gonna kill me if I took a wrong step. 

"Ah y-ya got me" I stammered fuck this was insane. He placed his hands on his open cheeks and I realized he wasn't holding the knife it was on him. "You have no Idea what those words mean to me Larry. I promise no harm will come to you, I'll protect you from this filthy town you can count on me my love" hang on what. "L-Love" I questioned but he took it the wrong way. He leaned down and kissed me so fast. Sliding his legs down so he was laying on me. 

What am I suppose to do. This man had a knife and a clear advantage as he was on top of me. I couldn't run, if I told him no I'd die. How could I do that to my mom, leave her alone in this world cause I couldn't be brave. Besides this is what I was looking for a way to be close to Sal to find some evidence on him. I placed a hand on his waist and kissed back. He did taste oddly sweet despite having a burger for lunch. I didn't hate the kiss, I'm just terrified. 

"Hey get a room" A man shouted out of no where. Sal sat up and I saw the complete anger on his face. The heart shaped pupils seemed to shrink as he bared his teeth a little. He looked out at the man and the stranger screamed "What the fuck, dudes messed up" he ran. Suddenly Sal was looking back at me a sweeter look on his face. Damn he was expressive. 

"Oh darling I'm so sorry I'm pinning you" he got up and stepped back. I quickly got up and distanced us. Fuck his eyes were huge or was it his eye, one looked like the iris was smaller then the other. "Are you alright" he asked like hes not carrying a weapon. "Yep hunkydory the peaches breeze" wait what. "Heheheh you're so silly" he giggled and it sounded warm. But I know he's not. He walked over to the fountain and grabbed his bags. 

"Should I walk you home" he asked stepping towards me. Hell no I don't want him knowing where I live. "Ah no that's ok I-I'll see you at school b-buttercup" I swear his eyes had actual hearts in them at that, it was a little ok very intense. He rushed at me and I got ready to bolt. But he just grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Your so sweet" he moved to huge me with his free arm. He pressed his face into me and moved his head back and forth a little. "I can hear you're heart, its beating so fast" I tense at the words. Man who says shit like that. 

He stepped back and smiled so wide, It be kinda cute if I wasn't scared for my life. "See you at school, I'll be counting the minutes" he put his mask back on then walked passed me. I turned to watch him leave, there was the exit all along right beside us. 

What just happened di-did he just confess to me he stalked me like I had done today, for a year. Is he my boyfriend now. Oh god we totally kissed, we're dating now. I mean this is the in I was looking for but I don't wanna dup him into thinking I love him. Ok Maybe I can have a conversation with him, lets just be friends first. Holy fuck this was so intense. A gun shot went off and I bolted out of the park and onto the street. 

Wasn't hard to notice Sal standing across the way watching the exit. He was waiting for me to leave. He waved at me then started walking away before I was able to wave back. My chest hurts from how hard my hearts beating and my head hurts. Actually all of me hurts. Adrenaline does that.


	4. whats the truth

I'm so tired. I didn't sleep much last night. My minds been on fire all night, replaying the whole scene in my head and wondering what the fuck happened. I walked to school basically dragging my feet. My body felt so heavy and I just wanted to drop on the ground. I barely registered Chug and Robert standing outside the school, both with backpacks which is kinda weird for them. 

I walked up and dropped my bag to the floor. "Geez you look horrible" Chug commented on me. "Ya like the actual living dead" Robert added. "You're so pale and are your bags darker" Chug chuckled. "Gee thanks guys that's just what I wanna hear that I look horrible and dead" they both shrugged at me. They're right though I know I look like hell, haven't been sleeping and my minds been racing for days. I'm starting to get chronic head aches. 

"Morning pep squad" Ash called out to us. I turned around and barely saw her. Man even my vision is blurry with how tired I am. "Geez you look-" great everyone's gotta have an opinion on how I look. "Ya, ya I get it pale, horrible, like the walking de-" my word got stuck as my vision cleared. Sal was standing right beside Ash. I wanted to bolt at the sight. It's stupid but he scares me. He's unreadable plus the knife was flashing in my mind. Ok so it's not uncommon for people to carry weapons and he probably had it for self defense but just the fact that he has it shakes me. 

"Well you're not wrong" Ash spoke up. I had to to blink a bit as I looked at her. God my eyes stinged. "Seriously do you ever sleep" she teased. I opened my eyes and saw Sal walking up to me. For a second I thought he was gonna out right stab me. But he didn't. He placed a hand on my chest and stood up on his toes. He reached up to feel my cheek. Ok so I blushed but you would to if a short man in a skirt was using you to steady himself as he reached up to check your temperature. "Have you eaten" he asked then stood on his feet. 

"Ah...no" I'm ashamed, I rarely eat before school and home ec is where I make dinner. The food at home is for mom and her late nights at work. He opened his hand bag and pulled out a wrapped pop tart. Fuck I love pop tarts, I'm like the only one that loves the strawberry jam ones. Classic is always best. "You should have something mr.H is gonna make us play soccer" he spoke so calmly, nothing like how hes spoken to me before. 

"How do you know" Chug asked even though he's not in our gym class. "Because its Thursday and fifteen days away from the school switching us to summer uniforms" the fact reminded me a little of Todd and I remembered he's in 1-A the smart kid class. "Pff your so over observant, I love ya man" Ash threw her arm over him and he chuckled at her. 

"Go on ask him anything I garente he knows the answer" Ash bragged. "Alright I'll bite got this super hard math problem that failed my last test "Mrs. Rodger got a weekly raise of $145. If she gets paid every other week, write an integer describing how the raise will affect her paycheck" Robert asked. Oof that one got me to, just hearing it was giving me a head ache. "You're.... kidding right" Sal asked like he continued believe it. We both shook our head it was a hard question. 

He cleared his throat "She gets a raise of 145 every week" he told us but we couldn't understand what that meant four months. "Ya so whats the answer" He looked at Ash a little alarmed I think but she just blinked at him. "Aum its addition so 145 x 4, every week her salary increases by 145 do that four times and its 580 so whatever her original salary is it will be x + 580 by the end of the week. But if you wanna go in more depth taking in the average working wage and adding she worked her full week, no sick days or over time and that she has two days off she'd be making 560 weekly if her wage is 14 hourly 15 hourly would be an even 600 weekly. X = 560 or 600 making the total number 2820 or 2980"

My head hurts. I mean its nice he explained the equation and the process on how to find x but my brain hurts. "Ow to much math for the morning" Robert groaned. "You asked" Ash told but it was clear it hurt her head to. "I have tylenol and advil" Sal dug int his bag and pulled out a small bottle. "Nah I'm good" Robert declined but I wanted some, my head was hurting before that. "C-Can I have some" why was I stuttering, I never stutter. But it felt stressful asking him for something. 

"I think you need water not pills" he put the bottle away and pulled out a water bottle. Was his bag like Marry Poppins and he just had a whole other world in there. I took the bottle. I went to take a sip cause why not. The second I took a sip I felt how dry my throat was and I just wanted to chug the whole bottle. So I did just inhaled the fucking water. It did make me feel alot better and my head did clear a little. "Anyway this gal needs to get to class if only an adorable man would off center my butch power as I walk through the halls" Ash spoke coly. 

"Pfff oh my who fits that description" Sally faked looking around. The gambit was kinda funny. He linked arms with the girl and they both started walking hip to hip. "One, two, three, four to eight Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated" they spoke together then laughed. It was oddly normal for Sal. Actually now that I think about it I don't think I've ever heard him make jokes. "Hey romeo quit staring if your not gonna chase that" I rolled my eyes at Robert. He's so pro people hooking up rather its sexually or romantically he's all for it. 

Sally was right the teacher made us go outside and set up nets for soccer. Which groan cause I hate soccer, alright I hate all sports except maybe volley ball. Its a stationary sport, you barely have to run around. I'm super tall and clumsy so running around is hard for me I always find a way to trip over myself. 

The teacher brought out the net jerseys and we were picked for teams, except Robert who couldn't play cause of his leg. I know he hates it, he's sulking about it on the grass. I wish that were me but no I have to play this dumb sport. The teacher blew the whistle and the ball was kicked. Some how I got stuck being goaly for our team. The ball was kicked my way but missed the net by a mile, it's then that I noticed the teams were split girls vs boys. Our fucking teacher is a sexist basterd. 

I kicked the ball back out and waited for them to get close to block the net. Alright I know why I was picked its cause I'm tall and its effort less for me to block the net. Except I blinked and suddenly sally was charging at the net with the ball rolling in front of him. I went to block the right side as he moved to kick but he suddenly switched. It was to fast for me to move over and the ball flew into the net. 

"What" "Come on Johnson block it next time" the guys shouted across the field. But I was shocked he switched footing so fast before I could even blink. I Grabbed the ball then looked at him. His timid deminor was gone as he rested a hand on his hip. "You may be my sugar bear but i never play to lose" he warned. It was a warning, fuck this guy was intense. I tried my best to kick the ball as far as I could so he'd run away. 

He did run after the ball. But he was back almost immediately, kicking the ball right at my shoulder and I jumped to dodge it. Which was his plan cause it went in and my team booed me while his cheered. He's super competitive it was just a stupid game we were forced to play and he was acting like it was a life and death situation. Like if he didn't win he'd pay a price of some kind. I tried to block his kicks but he put so much power into the ball I didn't wanna get hurt. 

He kicked it right at me and I actually caught it, everyone seemed surprised that i caught it. Even I was surprised I cheered a triumphant laugh as I held the ball up as evediance. Sally just giggled at me and placed a hand to the prosthetic mouth. "That's adorable" he was taunting me. I kicked the ball out but he didn't rush to it right away. He watched it fly over and the teams fight for it. It gave me a chance to really take in the sight of him. 

His hair was tied up in a pony tail and he still wore his mask. He had the girls gym uniform on, a white shirt with red short shorts and black runners. It was the first time I've seen his calves and thighs. They were sickly pale like the rest of him but there were scares running along his legs. Deep white scares and small red scratches you wouldn't notice unless you were looking. 

I looked up his hips that kinda curved which is weird for a guy, dudes are usually just plankes with thick legs. But a curve meant he had a plump ass. He was skinny but you could tell he had chub to him. I looked up and caught his eye, oh shit I was checking him out. "W-were you checking me out" he asked in such a shaky voice. "I-I no I was um" how was I to explain that cause I was checking him out. "We haven't even gone on a date yet and you're already undressing me with your mind, so naughty."

I looked back at him at those words, they sounded so suggestive. His hand was placed under the prosthetic and I knew he was biting his finger. Is it weird to think that's kind of erotic or is that just teenage hormones. I couldn't even defend myself cause I was hit in the chest by the ball. It knocked me back and I held the net for support. "Goal" one of Sal's team mates cheered. 

I threw the ball back out and the man was gone. He rushed down the field so fast, stealing the ball from who ever and sending it at his team mate. She got ready to accept the ball but it hit her in the stomach kinda like how it hit me a moment ago. The ball was stolen from the team and Sal jogged up to the girl. He pattered her back but something seemed intentional about the balls force. It could just be that Sal has no control and always puts full force into his kicks but I wasn't convinced. 

His words from last night played in my head 'I promise no harm will come to you, I'll protect you from this filthy town you can count on me my love'. Was the kick intentional. God this man was deep in my mind, making me question everything. 

Of course the girls won Sal was ruthless. As I changed in the change room I noticed Sal wasn't there. Did he change with the girls, If so he's lucky. Changing in a room full of girls sounded like a nice way to start lunch. But I also have it on good authority I'm a pervert so. 

I left the room trying my best not to think about it, last thing I need is to pop a boner. As I walked out the door I got spooked. Sally was standing right there watching the room clearly waiting for me. I screamed when I saw him, I wasn't expecting him to be there. I sighed when I realized the situation. He tapped the mouth of his prosthetic "Has anyone told you you're adorable when you scream." Seriously who even talks like that, serial killers thats who. 

He placed his hands on my arm and I tensed. "Yo ah few" Robert called out from the locker room. He was having issues keeping the door open. "Oh hang on" I removed my arm from Sal and opened the door for my buddy. "Thanks dude being crippled sucks monkey balls" I had to chuckle at that, hes so stupid sometimes. He walked out and smiled at Sal. "Oh my god its my wittle hero" he greeted. 

"How are you feeling" Sal asked like it wasn't his fault Robert almost died twice. Maybe it wasn't and I'm just being a jerk. "I'm good stuck in this thing for a couple months but could be worse could be dead hahaha" so not funny dude. "You gonna eat lunch with us I got this yucky strawberry cake my sister keeps throwing onto me. Hate sweets but she's trying to be a baker, be her little taster" he winked at Sal. "Really" the man asked astound, like actually bewildered by the offer. "I love sweets" Robert laughed and ok I chuckled cause of course Sal loves sweets. It weirdly fit. 

"I had a feeling" we all walked down the hall to go hang out, outside. Ya it was warm with a slight chill but the school still smelt like ash but not as sweet, aye. I hope an opportunity come up so I can use that. We walked out to a patch of grass where Ash and Chug an his lady friend already sat. Ok her names Maple but we all call her his lady friend just to tease him. 

"Yo who wants to help me down" Robert asked. "What push you" Ash asked and I chuckled. "Push you say" I turn to him. "No, no wait Larry don't" he laughed but also looked kinda scared. "Nah your good" I looked away and the second he let his guard down I lightly pushed him. "Lar" he shouted and I grabbed his arm so he didn't fall flat on his back. I laughed as I lowered him onto the grass. His fault he left himself open. 

I Sat down beside him. Oof that was a bad idea, now that I sat down I became so tired. My body became heavy and I wanted to crash. I laid back to rest on the grass. But my head landed on something soft and I opened my eyes. A pair of large turquoise eyes were staring down at me. They'd be beautiful they weren't so intense. Fear ran through me which made me feel stupid. "Tired" he asked in a low voice.

"Uh kinda" how was I suppose to answer. A yes maybe cause I was really tired but augh the sun is so bright. I squinted at him as the sun came out from under a cloud. He placed a hand over my eyes just barely touching me but I could still feel how cold he was. "I'll block out the sun for you" seriously who thought that was ok to talk like that. 

"Yo Sally that's weird" Ash spoke up and the hand was removed fro my face. Fuck I kinda wish it was back cause the sun was so bright. I sat up, giving up on being comfy. "I-Is it I-I've never um-I don't know how to act in a relationship" he mumbled and pressed a hand to his mask. Fuck it was adorable, my heart started hammering at the sight. "Wait what" Robert asked as a smile broke out on his face. He turned to me for an explanation. They all did. I swallowed hard at their stares. 

I Mean I guess we are dating but aw man I wanted to be friends first. "Last night we-we kissed at the fountain" he fidgeted as he looked at me. "Awe thats so cute Larry you romantic" Ash hit me lightly. Shit I lost my opportunity to down grade this connection. "Told ya to get it and you did" Robert clapped. "Congrats man you had the courage to be with someone you love" Chug sighed. I couldn't help it I groaned then laid back down. 

My head hurt from all this. It was to loud now and the sun was to bright. This whole situation was to much, I mean how can I date someone when I'm convinced they murdered someone and tried to kill my best friend twice. But he did drag Robert out of there so maybe he just set the place on fire and didn't know he was still on the floor till after. Augh all this maybe was making my head ache worse can't my brain just shut up for five minutes. 

A cold hand rested gently over my eyes. I sighed at the touch getting ready to tell Sal to remove it. But it felt nice. I didn't realize how warm I was and his hand felt nice on my face. Plus he was blocking out the sun, stupid sun. 

I thought about what he said, he didn't know how to act. That would explain the things he said, the intensity he displays. He just doesn't know how to behave around people. Maybe that's why he doesn't talk much, he doesn't know whats ok. This is ok I guess at least he's not covering my mouth and nose with a chloroform cloth. Heh the thought of that's kind of funny. Tiny little Sal jumping up to try and sedate me. Ya maybe he wasn't guilty maybe he's just socially impaired. 

I know I passed out cause I had a dream about the mugger. I was walking down a long corrador and all I could hear was garggling. It was getting louder then a hand grabbed my ankle. The man clawed at the ground as he looked up at me, covered in blood even his gleaming teeth were blood stained. "Help me" he garggled out. A blood soaked hand grabbed his head and pulled him back. I looked over to see Sal covered in blood, including his mask. He took a giant knife and split open the guys throat. I ran just ran into the darkness and away from the scene. 

I was suddenly in a forest one I knew very well. It was the forest by my old house. I kept running even though no one was behind me. I knew to turn left and jump over this pot hole then keep running until I saw it. My old tree house. I ran to the ladder and hands started sprouting from the ground, trying to grab me as I grabbed the ladder. I climbed up as fast as I could but I didn't make it to the top. Inside was Sal and I thought how did he beat me to the tree house. He held a bloody hand out to me but I couldn't take it. He'd save me but then he'd kill me himself. The step broke and I began to fall, he still held out his hand while the ones below me opened up to swallow me. I jolted awake before I could hit the ground or take his hand. My eyes shot open and I was still seeing a nightmare. Sal was looking down at me though his gaze seemed more sweet then intense. It still sent a shiver down my spine. "I didn't mean to wake you but class starts soon" he spoke softly. But I couldn't be comforted by it. 

"How adorable you actually fell asleep" someone cood. "Oooo romantic" our friends commented. I got up quickly, I needed to get away from everyone, from Sal. "Oh we can walk together" I heard him say and I was gone. Just walking faster away. I'm way taller I can walk away and leave him far behind without looking suspicious or like a jerk. But I wasn't gonna get far, we both had home ec and I wasn't mis.sing dinner just because I'm afraid. 

Thank god Todd was already inside the class room and I didn't have to worry about Sal edging his way into being my partner. "You ok Larry you look pale and tired" was his greeting. It was everyone's greeting. "Ya I'm fine just *sigh* I'm having some pretty detailed nightmares lately" I confessed. i don't know why maybe its because the guy looks at everything like an equation rather then emotional or malicious. "Will you be alright to cook today" he was flipping through a cook book. "Ya I'll be fine, maybe some mindless work will help" I picked up a book and found a pretty basic lasagna recipes. I busied myself with preparing the meal, trying not to pay attention to the door. But I was. Sal walked in alone and stared right at me. I didn't look at him but I could see him from the edge of my vision. He stared for a moment then walked away. I let out a breath I was holding then went back to making the meal. 

Ok I know its a total dick move to avoid your new boyfriend but I don't know how to act. I'm scared, scared of my dreams, scared of what I've seen or think I've seen. But my own worries aren't his problem. I mean seriously whats wrong with me. How can I be so convinced that someone that small is a killer. Maybe this towns just getting to me. I still avoided him as class ended. I was the first one out and dashed through the halls to my home room class. 

****

I think everyone was right. I did look like the walking dead. My cheeks were pale and my eyes were so dark. When mom came home she went into full nurse mode. She checked my temperature which was high. She laid me down in bed then cleansed my room. She goes way over board when I get sick. She took my lasagna I made and turned it into a beef pasta stew. God she was amazing at making something out of nothing. 

She told me I didn't have to go to school which was amazing. No gym and no Sal sounded like peace. I spent the night and most of the morning in and out of consciousness having fever dreams. Well more like nightmares. Maybe I needed something up beat playing in the back ground. I got up to move to the living room. My head spun so bad I was having a hard time seeing straight. Fuck did I call in yet, probably not. 

I grabbed my phone as I walked to my door. I opened it and Jesus there was forty seven texts from the same number and a bunch of calls. I could barely read them but I had a pretty good guess of who it was. I dragged my ass to the living room and laid down on the old couch. I grabbed the blanket on the back and turned on our system. I don't know what I put on just whatever I was watching last. 

I was out with in seconds. Next thing I knew I was being shaken awake. When I opened my eyes I was scared I'd see blue but I didn't. It was green I was looking at. A deep emerald. "Hey Lar-bear, hey your mom let us in you ok" Ash asked but I couldn't answer. I was relived that I wasn't in danger and I wanted to go back to sleep.

"As far As I know he's been sleeping all day, I gotta get back to work do you mind watching him it's gonna be a late night" my mom spoke. "I can't my dad doesn't let me out passed seven but he can." Who, what. "Oh thank you dear I just worry about him, alright I'll walk you home then." I heard these voices but I didn't process what they said. I was passing out.

It was the same dream I've been having, lost in shadows and running for my life. A bloody murder being committed from where I was running. Loud shrikes of help and please. I woke up to the smell of chicken. God that smelt so good and kinda sweet if that was possible. "Larry, Larry sorry to wake you but you need to eat my love" I heard someone say. Their voice was so soft I wondered if I was dreaming it. 

I open my eyes a little and I was met with blue. I groaned and tried to slide away but I couldn't move my body. It was to heavy. "Hey it's ok, eat a little and I'l help you where ever you need to go" I'm trying to get away from you. "Sal" I tried to speak but damn my throat was sore. "What are you doing here" I had to ask. How did he know where I lived anyway. Must of been that year of stalking he did. "Ash and I came by, we wanted to make sure you were ok. You weren't answering me. I was getting worried. Your mom asked me to stay and watch over you till she got home" god mom what were you thinking. "Here have something to eat you haven't had anything all day" He took a spoon full of soup and brought it to my mouth. But I wasn't eating it, I couldn't trust it. "Ach really now my cooking's not that bad" he lifted his mask just a little and I saw him eat what was on the spoon. 

"See not bad even a little sweet, please eat some" he put the spoon back in the bowl and I saw there were no holes in it. He really did eat the soup. If he ate it there's no way it could be poisoned. I tried to sit up, there was no way I was letting him feed me, that was ridiculous. But I was so dizzy I couldn't see straight. "Maybe you should stay down, don't want to upset your body and cause yourself to vomit" that was a pretty good point. I laid back down. Fuck it I was already pathetic enough might as well fall to the bottom. 

He took another spoon full and brought it to my mouth. This is humiliating. I let him feed me. He was right it was sweet but not gross off putting sweet. More like the chicken was fresh and marinated before cooking. Nothing like the canned stuff. But we don't have chicken its to expensive. He gave me another spoon full and It reminded me of the brown rice I had the other day. It tasted sweet to. 

Maybe it was an expert chef thing that everything tasted sweet. When ever I make something it taste bitter or salty which was fine but I liked this sweet chicken to. I ate half before he stopped feeding me. I opened my eyes to see what was happening, I guess I had them closed. I didn't even realize. He grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me. "You should have some water to" he placed a hand on my cheek to check my temperature. The cold skin felt so nice on mine. I reached up and grabbed his hand to hold it close to my face.

"Ah L-Larry" he stammered, I could feel him start to shake. I looked over at him, his eyes were closed so all I could see was darkness under the mask. His ears were a bright red, he was blushing just from me hold his hand. That was so cute. I let his hand go and closed my eyes. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. "Larry drink some water" I heard him say. I groaned but opened the cap anyway and drank. 

Maybe I should listen to him when he tells me to drink cause everytime I get the need to inhale the water. Once it was gone Sal was taking the bottle away. "I-I'll go get you some ice" he stammered. It sounded kind of cute. I closed my eyes and the next thing I felt was cold on my forehead. It felt so nice. I sighed "I love how your hands feel, they're so cold" I don't know what I was saying all I knew was he's cold and I'm hot. "Ah t-thats n-not my hands, i-Its ice" I just hummed as I passed back out. 

I woke up god knows when. It was dark and I was in my room not the living room. Someone must of moved me but no ones strong enough to move my passed out ass. I have to pee. Must of been from being asleep all day. I got up slowly and made my way to the door. The light to the living room was still on when I walked out. I looked around and saw Mom sitting at the dining table with a bunch of papers around her. I saw our rent notice and internet bill beside it. Bills, she was budgeting. 

"Hey" I called out to her as I walked over. "Those the monthly bills" I asked and she quickly tried to huddle them together to hide them. "Ah no" she lied. "Mom" she looked at me, so sad it broke my heart "It's nothing for you to worry about. Um how are you feeling" she tried to change the subject. "Fine not as bad this morning" I turned to walk to the bathroom. If she wanted to keep it silent then fine I'll just log into her email and check out the digital files later. 

I walk into the bathroom, maybe I should have a shower to I'm kinda rank. I turn to grab my towel but its gone. "Wha- hey mom have you seen my towel" I try to yell but it didn't travel far. "Its not hanging up" she asked. "No" clearly not if I'm asking. "Just use mine, man where is your clothes going" she said a little quieter. Man I'd like to know that to.


	5. maybe I was wrong

Its been a few days and I'm still out of it. I'm pretty sure my brains just always gonna be fucked up. If it's not a concussion its the damn flu. I guess a owe a lot to Sal he did take care of me when I needed help and he had the perfect opportunity to kill me. It be easy my only tie is with my mom and Robert. Have the trail run cold for seventy two hours and the cops have to drop it in favor of new cases. I've been thinking about how easy it would be to kill me lately. I blame this town and my damn paranoia. His texts have died down a lot but that's cause I responded to them. He was just worried after all. It's not like he was actively checking my whereabouts he just wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself. 

I started going back to school Tuesday but had a doctors note to not play in gym score. Bright side of mom working at a hospital I don't need to spend hours waiting at a doctors office or in ER, mom gets her friend to write out rest notes they call in for when I'm deadly sick. So I get to hangout with Robert on the grass today. 

I was a little late to school cause I'm still kinda dizzy but got there as Gym started. I gave the teacher the note and he rolled his eyes at me. Butt face. But he can't ignore a doctors note. He grumbled as I walked over to Robert. "Sup my crippled brotha" he cheered. "Shut up man, augh man I'm still super sick. I gotta show this to the home ec teacher which means I can't enter the class or I'll contaminate all the food" that was the worst of it. I really liked home ec and listening to Todd talk while I cooked. 

"I know buddy but hey you get to watch all the hotties oh wait your dating Sal. Well at least you get to watch that booty bounce as he runs" I looked at him a little confused. "Ah but I mean not like I've noticed I don't stare at your boy hes yours ya know" he freaked out waving his hands about defensively. I nudged him "relax I'm not grilling you." I looked out at the field. The class was playing capture the flag, super lame. I watched the teams go by and run around like idiots. But I didn't see Sal. 

"So hey how'd you end up dating him anyway" Robert asked me. I couldn't tell him I fallowed Sal all around and the guy jumped me for it. Completely in love with the fact that I would stalk him. "Ah well walked by um Clarence park, I know the worst place to be at night but I needed to get home fast. He was sitting on the fountain there and well um sorta told me he like me and we kissed." I blushed at the memory. It was kinda embarrassing but the memory of Sal's lips made my heart speed up. 

"Awe thats gay" he laughed. Robert didn't mean it as a bad thing it was just a joking meaning it was sappy and cute. I rolled my eyes at him then spotted Sal on the field. He was running like crazy fast. Keeping his body low as he snuck by almost unnoticed and grabbed flags. "Geez hes competitive" I commented. "That's what your paying attention to" Robert asked. Of course he wants me to pay attention to the mans ass. Which ok I'm an ass man myself and he is my boyfriend I guess. 

But He looked over at me before I got a chance and I felt guilty somehow. His voice rang in my head when he called me a naughty boy and I blushed so red. My shoulder was suddenly grabbed and I was forced to look at Robert. He seemed serious as he looked at me. "Are you ok your really flushed. Is it to hot out here for you do you need to go to the nurse" that made my blush worse cause now I was embarrassed. "Ah no I-I'm um blushing" I stammered. He looked out at the field where Sal had stopped running and was staring at us. 

He began to laugh "You dork I was worried" he pushed me and I laughed. "I'm sorry I-I don't know what happened he just looked over and I got caught staring and I blushed" he laughed again as I scratched my head. "Gaaay" he spoke deeply and I nudged him. He was so stupid sometimes. Augh but now my head was spinning so I laid down. "Gonna take a nap" he asked. "Maybe, watch me" I asked and he nodded at me. I closed my eyes, thankfully it was a grey day so no stupid sun in my eyes. 

I didn't have as vivid of a dream this time. Something about soup made out of bills and I was drowning in it trying to get to a spoon. But someone took it away and I drowned. I took in a sharp breath as I woke up. There was no sound around and Robert wasn't beside me. I looked around in alarm then jolted where I laid. Sal was laying beside me still in his gym uniform. "Um hey" I said I didn't know how to be around him. "Hey, I didn't want to wake you but Robert got hungry" he told me. 

"Ah so he left me for his mistress, food and I thought what we had was special" I joked. He giggled a little and it was kinda cute. "How are you feeling" he asked. "Better but I still can't go to home ec or I'll contaminate the food and last thing we need is a zombie out break" he giggled again. I didn't look at him, I couldn't without thinking about those dreams and all the weird shit I've seen or convinced myself. 

"Y-you're really funny" he reached down my arm and placed his hand slowly in mine. I let it happen it felt nice, his cold skin on mine. I was on fire and he was so cold it was nice. He placed his fingers in between mine and I squeezed his hand. It was so small in mine, my fingers basically ran up the back of his hand. 

Against my better judgement I did look over. He was staring at me with those giant eyes of his. So blue they were like their own sky. And ya his pupils were heart shaped. One was larger then the other which was kinda weird. Actually now that I looked them over one seemed to reflect light differently then the other. 

"Hey there love birds" Roberts voice called out. "Awe thats so cute yall just laying in the grass looking at eachother longingly" Ash gushed and I wanted to cover my face. "H-Hey you cheater hope she was worth it" I glared up at Robert for a change in subjects. "Wha- look I'm not having this argument with you again food fuels me but so do you I love you both" he threw himself down beside me. "Pff I don't know food you can't just point me a poly relationship when I don't know the other party" I went to sit up. 

"It worries me that you say that shes everywhere shes here" he spoke so tenderly. "What" I gasped. "She's here Larry, here is food shes kind I promise have a taste" we both snickered then burst out laughing. It was so stupid but I loved the joke so much. "You two are so weird" Ash rolled her eyes but laughed as well. "Oh man I'm dizzy" I sighed as I calmed down a little. "Oh man I think thats the farthest we've gotten with that" Robert devoured his burrito. Cold steal touched me and I jolted away. Turning my head quickly to the man beside me. Sal held out a soup container and a folding spoon. No offense but all I've had is soup and its super gross now. He moved it a little and I felt bad for not taking it right away. I took the container and opened it. There wasn't soup inside, it was oatmeal. The sweetest smelling oatmeal I've ever smelled. That's weird to say but oatmeal from a pack always smells bitter or to powerful. 

He tapped me with a water bottle. I set the oatmeal down and took the water bottle to. I untwisted the lid and looked inside, it was dark duh. But it smelt like ginger. "Sally are you still in your gym clothes" Ash asked. And he was, he sat beside me with his legs folded and his red shorts ridding up. "Come on lets go untuck in the change room" she stood up and he also got up. Untuck the word rang in my mind, now that I thought about it Sal didn't have a bulge in those shorts. 

He must be a master at tucking or it was just small. I realized to late that I was staring at his ass trying to see something underneath. "Johnson keep it in your pants" Ash told me as she pushed Sal out of the way. Shit I was not very discrete about anything. "Look at that you got a little house husband, he cooks for you and takes care of your sick ass" I rolled my eyes at Robert. I took a spoon full of the oatmeal and damn it was so sweet and not bitter at all. Nothing like the packs he must of cooked it himself. And this ginger tea wasn't harsh like the tea bags you buy at the store. Did he brew it himself. 

They didn't come back so I was carrying his containers with me. The food was so good and I felt a lot more energetic after eating. I hate to admit it but I probably got sick from lack of eating and sleep. I washed out his containers in the bathroom then headed to home ec to give the note. Poor Todd was gonna set something on fire all by himself. 

I walked into the room and the first thing I saw was Sal at my station. He was cutting up some turkey it looked like. I walked passed and gave the teacher my note. She grabbed it then handed it back. "Alright don't touch anything and go to home room" she ordered me. Ya I knew that. I turned to leave but I had to give Sal his containers back. I took them out of my bag and placed them on the counter. 

"Ah no-no get out you germ infested enigma" Todd freaked out. He was wearing a face mask and wiping down the counters with disinfecting wipes. "Relax I was just dropping stuff off" it was kinda funny, he was so freaked out about getting sick. "Please wait" Sal asked from the kitchen. He dropped the knife and walked over to his bag. He pulled out this book with a sunset on it. He handed it over. "It's just something to keep you occupied while you recover" he mumbled as he looked at my shoes. My heart speed up at how adorable he was acting. God how could I think this guy was a murder and arsionist, he was so timid. 

"Ah th-thanks" I stammered. "I don't mean to be rude but please leave I don't want the food contaminated" Todd butted in. "Oh excuse me while I cough all over your freshly cleaned counter" I teased. 'Don't you dare" he got so up in arms I had to laugh. I grabbed my bag and left the room. He was so funny sometimes. 

I did go to home room, where else was I gonna go if I went out side I might fall asleep again. I sat down at my desk and opened the book. It was a sketch book and the first page was already doodled on. There were lumpy pictures of bunny faces and bears drawn about. Out of place neat wording on the page. 'This was gonna be my confession present to you but um well I kinda already confessed. Thank you so much for accepting I hope this book inspires you to paint more. Here's some dumb drawings to help you get started' It was clear he was referring to his own drawings. I had to close the book and rest my head on the desk. 

It was to cute and that made me feel bad for thinking he was a criminal. Sure he said some weird things but he was timid and blushy. Didn't know how to act around people or with a love interest. But something still felt off. I blame my concussed and foggy brain for being so stupid. Maybe my nightmares are to blame to. They're so vivid it makes me scared. 

I decided I'm gonna make Sal a present to say sorry for being a jerk and thinking you're a murder and still thinking you're a murder. Maybe this town has gotten to me and I have mass paranoia, thinking everyone's out to get me. Or everyone new I meet. Maybe I'll draw him a bunch of bunny's he seemed to really like them in his doodles. Or a bear but I'm pretty sure that was a play on my nick name. 

"Lar-bear quit slacking and help me move this" case in point my coworker calling out to me. Sure he means it in a bad way but I can't really care. I left the counter to help him move some boxes. Me and this guy are the only ones that actually work in this place. Everyone else kinda slacks off and leaves us to do all the work. I hate them. I picked up a box and moved it to the right aisle for pricing. 

"Did you hear about Lucas" I heard one of the gossip gollies at work start. Man quite spreading rumors and help for once. "He was this thug that stole my purse a while back, well apparently he's gone missing" my heart stopped and I dropped the cleaner bottle I was holding. Was this it, the evidence that I wasn't dreaming. "Wh-what um what did he look like" I stammered out. "Wow eavesdrop much this is a personal story ok this stupid mugger that took my purse is missing, no ones seen him around and he hasn't shown up for work in over a week" the girl told. 

"Ok but what did he look like" I pressed I needed to know. But what was I gonna do with that information I mean if he was missing then I really did see a murder didn't I, which means Sal murdered someone and I saw it and he's just pretending it didn't happen. Going about his normal days like he didn't have blood on his hands. "Relax man I'm sure he didn't mug you or whatever he only targets woman and purses he's had loads of cases against him like that he'd never mug a buff giant like you" she insulted. Could it be concedered an insult I mean she basically just said I look strong and sturdy.

I really hate work the employees act more clicky then high school. Whatever it probably has nothing to do what what I'm thinking. I left work still wildly curious. Thanks Jen you nosy bitch. Ya I'm having anger problems lately probably from the lack of sleep and being sick. I step out onto the street and Roberts standing on the side walk. 

"Yo" he greeted and I smiled at him. "What are you doing here you're gonna get stabbed with that leg of yours" It was kind of a joke but not really. "Brah you paranoid, but don't worry moms on patrol tonight so she's gonna pick me up in a bit at your building" he turned to hobble down the street with his crutches. "If you say so" I started walking, taking slow strides so he wasn't left behind. 

"So how you feeling man" he asked and I rolled my eyes. It was sweet that everyone kept asking I knew they were all just worried about me but It still annoyed me a little. "Ya I'm good still got a fever but not like dying anymore" I chuckled. "I don't mean your fever man I know your getting better, Sal making sure of that. Nah I meant sleep wise you said you haven't been sleeping much and dont think I haven't noticed your jolts when you do wake up" he tried to nudge me. 

"Ah is it that obvious" I asked. "Well you bolted when you woke up the other day and just completely ignored us as you zoomed to class plus it's super easy for you to pass out so ya kinda obvious your having an issue" geez I can't hide anything. "Ah ya ok I haven't been sleeping much, probably why I got sick in the first place. Just I don't know my minds always running and when I do sleep they're nightmares of being chased and blood" I told maybe if I get some stuff off my chest it'll lighten whats going on in my head. doubtful though cause I can't tell Robert about my delusions.

"That sucks why are you being chased" cause I saw a murder. "Guess I'm just paranoid like you said. I'm running from this town and it's taking the form of Sal" shit why did I say that. "Sal like little quiet Sal, he wouldn't hurt a fly" the man said like it was so bizarre. "I'm not so sure" I mumble fuck why can't I just keep my mouth shut. "Why" he asked genuinely curious. 

Man I can't tell him but he really wants to know and he's not gonna let it go. I took in a deep breath fuck I was really doing this. "I just.. I think he started the fire at school and cut the strap that caused you broken leg and maybe murdered a mugger. Like sliced his throat and told me to be quiet about it" I spoke out as fast as I could. "Whow, whow that's heavy accusations, did you see him commit a murder." He spoke to calmly. "Yes, no maybe I don't know. I was really concussed it was right after the guy took my wallet and hit me hard with a gun, I was walking home and I swore I saw him getting his throat slashed by Sal it was so real. But I had a dream I got shot and Sal was there to and that felt real like could actually feel the bullet. Plus He said he'd protect me from this filthy town-." I rambled my thoughts, Robert started shouting, very serious. 

"Stop, Stop, Stop you were mugged, dude you straight up lied to me you said you hit your head. I thought you were just being clumsy but you were fucking mugged and at gun point, were you ever gonna tell me" he sounded angry and ya I'd be to if he kept that from me. "Ah I didn't want to worry anyone I was fine and I woke up with my wallet on the night stand but I don't remember how it got there." He rolled his eyes and I knew he was pissed at me. 

"So you think he's harmful because you had a concussion dream about him murdering the mugger" he under-minded. "It wasn't a dream I don't think, it felt so real" I mumbled as I tried to remember the murder but It was kind of hazy, like trying to remember a dream. "Pf come on of course it was a dream murders aren't easy to hide, especially if you do it in the open. The spot would be covered in dna even if they cleaned the area and really do you think Sal of all people could commit a murder and come to school the next day looking fresh and calm. No he'd have guilty ticks which ah he doesn't. It was just a concussion dream man you wanted the man to pay and your mind went violent. He must of thrown your wallet at you once he saw there was no money in there and you blacked it out cause your mind was injured."

He reasoned and ya that's what I've been telling myself but it sounded more concrete when someone else said it. Now I felt stupider. "Ok but I've never seen him till after the accident" I tapped my head and he rolled his eyes at me. "Ya you did you just didn't notice. He's in all your mix classes plus he's a hard dude to miss what with the mask and bright blue hair and eyes. He sticks out like a sore thumb" that was true he was a very distinct person. Maybe my brain dreampt about him cause I always see him without noticing him. Mix that with paranoia and my fear of getting murdered ya probably did dreampt it all up. 

"Ok fine but I know he cut the strap to that shelf, Todd said it wouldn't tear with out tampering and it was more likely for the plastic ring to break. But it didn't it was the strap and I know I saw him with a pair of scissors even though I was having spotty vision from the concussion and adrenaline. I know what I saw" I stressed. "Ok relax so say he had a pair of scissors wanna know something else so does Sofie and about five other girls keep razors on them and some guys don't pretend you didn't notice Clyde drop a bloody blade we all had to get counseling for that. Come on man don't be stupid I saw you checking out his legs the other day, some of those cuts don't look accidental and we already know Sofie cuts with a pair maybe he does to."

He was right, self harm was kind of a problem in our school. A lot of kids did it and I did notice the white scares and small scabs on his legs. But it didn't click that he was cutting himself. Guess it was hard to tell since he already has a lot of scars on his body. Ya any number of people could of done it not just Sal. "And dude" Robert began, cutting into my thoughts. "There's no way he started that fire, he was just as scared as I was. I was screaming for help once I smelt smoke. It took him a while to get to me so I know he wasn't in the room when it started. Plus he hesitated, he saw the fire and me laying helpless on the ground and he just froze. But he grabbed me and dragged me out cause he couldn't lift me to my feet. He's not strong but he is my hero. I wouldn't be here telling you how stupid you are if it wasn't for him" god I felt like an ass. 

"Besides wheres the motive, why set the locker room on fire or try and hurt me and if he did try to hurt me why bother saving me later" ok so he was pretty rational sometimes and insightful. I didn't think about that at all. "Well maybe he hated the taunting I mean I'm pretty sure he wrote the letter and you guys read it out loud so maybe he set the place on fire cause he was embarrassed" I offered off the top of my head. Why was I trying so hard to blame him. 

"That makes like zero sense, just set the trash can on fire not the whole room and fallowing that logic he would of let me die for reading out his letter. Fuck that was probably the worst thing I've done. I look back at that and just cringe at myself for being such an ass" he groaned. "Ya you were a jerk" he glared at me. "So are you man you think your boyfriend is a murdering arsonist" ah shit I was calling it the wrong thing this whole time. 

He was right I am a jerk. I keep switching from 'no he couldn't' to 'he definitely did even though there's no evidence' god I'm a shitty boyfriend. I even asked him to leave while I was sick cause I didn't feel save being alone with him. Did I ask him to leave. That whole day is a blur to me I was pretty out of it. 

We walked up to my apartment building. "Hey" Robert spoke a lot calmer. "If you were so convinced he's a murder why are you dating him" he asked and I blushed a little ashamed. For evidence but also it sorta happened. "Uh it just sorta happened I was walking through Clarence park and he was sitting there ya know. Just chilling with his prosthetic off and I worried he'd think I was fallowing him so I started stammering. It happened kind of fast he just threw himself on me and started confessing. I didn't know what was happening and before I knew it he was kissing me and ya ok I kissed back." I re told but again it was all kinda hazy. 

"That's so cute" Robert smiled. "Cute? the dude threw himself on me and just went crazy" I tried to tell him but it just sounded like I was being a jerk. "So he's a little intense sometime, he said he didn't know how to act. Maybe he just doesn't know when to much is to much. Sounds like he needs someone to show him how to behave in a relationship ya" he smiled at me. "Put the murder theory's to rest you amateur cop" he laughed and his mom pulled up. 

She rolled down the window and smiled at me. "Ello Larry long time no see" she had such a strong accent. Even being here for twenty years hasn't diminished it. "Hey for your own piece of mind I won't tell anyone especially not Sal but if you keep thinking this stuff break up with him before he gets to attached. Definitely don't wanna be dating someone that doesn't trust you" Robert pushed my shoulder with his fist then moved to hobble over to the passenger side of the car. "Tell your mom I say hi and we should have tea sometime" his mom called out to me. "Ya totally." I waved at them as they got ready to take off. 

I walked up to my building and went inside. Robert was right about everything. Having a detective as a mom really sharpens your rational skills. He was right about breaking up with Sal. No relationship should start if you don't trust the other. And I don't, I don't trust him. Even after hearing all that something in my mind nagged that something wasn't right. Maybe it was just the nightmares I've been having about him are playing into my regular paranoia. 

But should I break up with him I mean he really is intense sometimes and a little frightening. But hes also super sweet. He stayed in a strange house by himself just to take care of me and made me lunch and bought me a confession gift. Augh why was he so adorable, he even stayed by my side while I slept just so I wasn't alone. But I don't trust him and he shouldn't be with someone that doesn't trust him. God I was gonna break this poor guys heart. Maybe we can still be friends and get to know eachother better, Seriously I know nothing about him. 

I walked into my apartment and locked the doors. Mom wasn't home but she rarely was since she worked so much. There was a meal on the table though, oh yum shepherd's pie with peas. Mom like never makes shepherd's pie it takes way to long and she hates corn and peas. But I love it. It's just what I need from this day. It smelt so good and a little garlicky awesome I love garlic. I chowed down and fuck the meat was so sweet, how does she make the meat sweet. I want to cry its so good but I think that's just from all the shit I've been going through over the passed few weeks.


	6. trapped

I know what I have to do but that doesn't make it any easier. Especially when I'm in an impossible situation. I've been trying to figure out how to break up with Sal. Ok break ups a bad word just kinda lower our relationship to friends. I don't know what to say that won't hurt him. I guess its unavoidable. Ok after school today I'll tell him. Its a total dick move on my part but how am I suppose to say 'hey Sal lets just be friends k' when he gives me the most amazing food I've had in my life. He gave me popcorn shrimp rice, I forgot how much I love shrimp cause its so expensive. 

He kinda walks with me everyday now. Walks me home or work depending on the day. I mean shouldn't I be the one walking him home, hes so small what if he got attacked on his way home. Especially walking from my apartment to where ever. That's not what I should be focusing on. I'm distracting myself cause this is gonna be hard. I look over but he's not beside me he's behind me. I don't know why he walks behind me, maybe it's cause I walk to fast for him.

Ah come on Johnson just turn around and rip off the band aid. 'Sal I think you great' no don't lie come one plus if I say that he's gonna know right away whats happening and that's gonna be harder. "Sal I think you're....' don't start with i think. 'Sal I have to confess I don't really know you and it's a little uncomfortable being with someone I don't know. what would you say to being friends for a bit and getting to know eachother' oh that's good gotta remember that one. Ok on the count of three. One. Two.

He sneezed and it broke my concentration. Wasn't loud or startled me just something hit me in the back when he did. Kinda felt like a pebble. I stopped and looked down near my feet to see what it was. Was he throwing shit. I saw something roll on the ground a white marble I guess. But then it rolled more and I saw a blue iris on the front. A fucking eye, he's throwing eyes at me what the fuck. I screamed at the sight. Fuck you would to if a fucking disembodied eye was staring at you after hitting you. 

"Shit" He spoke out and grabbed the eye. It took one second one split second of him looking at me to see it. His mask hid it well. But I knew he had an empty socket and that made my whole body run cold. I tried to scream but all that came out was shaky noises. He didn't have a fucking eye, it just popped out what the fuck. 

He quickly covered the view. "Ah-Ah I'm sorry it's a prosthetic It just pops out sometimes, I-I didn't mean to scare you" he stammered. But I didn't quiet hear him. I was to much in shock he actually just has no fucking eye. Fuck he sounded like he was gonna cry. 

"I-I no I-Its cool man I j-just didn't know like kinda surprised me d-didn't freak me out" I lied. He stared at me with his one eye and I paled. Actually felt myself pale. "AH ok so ya it freaked me out a little b-but it's all good" I tried to comfort. He looked down and fuck he looked so sad right now. It kinda broke my heart, curse my sweet heart. "Uh hey lets get to my place and you can wash it there" I assume that's why he didn't just put it back in, cause it was on the dirty ground and he didn't want an infection. 

So it's safe to say I didn't break up with him. How could I he just sounded so scared. What was I suppose to do. 'Hey Sal I know your eye just popped out like the corpse bride but I don't think we should be dating anymore still friends though ya' I'd be the biggest jerk and he'd think the prosthetic is gross. It's not, I've seen a lot of prosthetic's being in and out of the hospital when I'd see my mom. But there was no warning and all of a sudden there was an eye on the ground and I saw a little inside Sal's head. Ok probably didn't see that much just a black shadow but the brains a funny thing. 

He made me another glorious meal for lunch and fuck It makes me feel more awful. He's pouring his heart into me, caring for me and here I am plotting to break up with him. And why cause I'm stupid and think he murdered someone and tried to kill my best friend twice. I didn't have to eat it but I was so hungry. Which is weird for me I normally don't get hungry till like six at night. 

"Did you hear Cass got taken out on another amazing date. This time she was taken for a carriage ride across town" the girls were gossiping. "Oh man I wish some guy would take me on a special date. Hey Sally what kinds of dates do you and Larry go on" shit. "Oh uh well we haven't-" he mumbled. Shit, shit, shit, shit. "Larry Evelyn Johnson how dare you date this perfect blue berry for a month and not take him out on a date once" Ash tore in. I knew she would. 

"Wait like not even a small coffee date what the fuck" Robert asked beside me. Man come on you know I'm trying to figure out how to break up with him. If I go on a date now that be really scummy. "It's ok really I-I just like hanging out with him" Sal no. "Awe that so cute" Ash said to him then glared at me. Great now I was the asshole that didn't treat him right and ya I am. "I-I mean if maybe you want but we don't have to I-I wouldn't mind" AHHHHH.

"Oh what about the amusement park that place is so fun, the bumper cars are harsh" Chug enthused. "Oh and the roller coasters man so wild" Maple joined. "We should go" that littke meatball said. Now him and Maple were blushing like fools. "Ah-I mean all of us like a group hangout. Can be a fun date and won't feel pressured ya know" he rambled. "Oh hell ya love zero gravity" Robert joined. "I'm always down for roller coasters, ay we need to ride the teacups" Ash tapped me. "Oh man I love the tea cups" wait no stop. What just happened. 

*******

-How do I get myself into these situations. I was trying to down play our relationship and I ended up asking him out. At least we won't be alone. Thank god for Robert he's a hopeless romantic and hoping a group date will encourage Chug to finally make a move. Still I'm kinda dreading it now cause I don't like Sal. I just don't wanna lead him on, I feel terrible. "Dude don't get sick on me again" Robert nudged me where we stood. I sighed. "That's worse you look gloomy" he commented. 

I stood up straight still not as tall as him. We both waited for the others at the bus stop so we could all go to the park together. "Why so glum chum" he asked me but he knew why. "I was suppose to break up with him now I'm going on a date with him I'm just making this all worse" I groaned. "Come on man Sal's adorable I think you might just fall for him yet....Ok if you don't then just act like a jerk that doesn't care. He'll break up with you" he winked at me like it was that easy. "I'm physically incapable of being like that" I told flatly. I can't act like a heartless jerk no matter how hard I try and I've tried.

"My mom coded my DNA with good morals and caring. Sugar, spice, and everything nice but she accidentally added a secret ingredient, Chemical testosterone" we both burst out laughing at that. It was so stupid but I loved it. "Whats so funny" Chug walked up to us with Maple beside him. They were both smiling most likely at how idiotic me and Robert were. "Ah man just talking about DNA" Robert chuckled.

"Tch you guys have changed you use to talk about stupid stuff. Now that you're all buddy-buddy with Sally you're being like smart and junk" the small man complained. I wanted to laugh at his dilemma cause if only he heard what we actually said. But he left himself so open for a joke. "Heck ya man I'm smart, even went to the doctors not to long ago for an Xray guess what I found" I started. The perfect lead up. "You're brain got bigger" Chug asked annoyed. "Um a catscan would show that not an Xray" Maple corrected making the man feel kinda stupid. 

"What did you find" I didn't notice Roberts gaze move passed me cause I was to excited about this punch line. "I found out I'm part man, part skeleton" I bellowed in a dramatic voice. I watched as they all closed their eyes to process the joke. "What the fuck" I heard from behind me. Oh Ash perfect. I turned quickly around and bellowed "Part man part skeleton" they all started laughing like they couldn't believe what I said. 

But I didn't reveal in it. My sights landed on Sal who was standing a little behind Ash. He also laughed at my joke, closing his eyes so only darkness was visible under the mask. His hair was down in messy curls, it was a lot longer then I thought but he did always have it up in high pigtails. Even though he wasn't at school and didn't have to make a statement he still wore a dress. A neat pink dress with a red ribbon around the waist and a felt strip with a little bow stretching over the chest. He had a I'm guessing the color was strawberry pink, cardigan on and pink Lolita straps for shoes. 

Ok so I know fashion kinda have to when you draw characters and paint. "I take it back you're not smarter" Chugs voice rang out behind me. I looked over my shoulder at him. "Pfff who wants to be smart when you have street smarts" Robert laughed. "Heck ya when has math ever helped stalk shelves or bag stuff" Chug and I worked at the grocery store so it was the only example he knew. But I doubt mom used algebra or x=y at work. "Fuck being smart" Robert shouted and we all kinda looked at Sal. Not our proudest moment but he is super smart and we're all kinda dumb. 

"Oh look the bus" Ash called out and we all looked down the street. It was kinda far but it was on its way. "Excited" the girl asked. "Heck ya love the amusment park, all the roller coasters and zero gravity oh man love zero gravity" Robert gushed and I chuckled at him. Ya I loved the amusment park to. The tea cups was my favorite. "I was talking to Sally he's never been" she placed a hand on the mans shoulder. "You've never been" I asked not even thinking. What kid never went to the amusmet park l.t that much time in the hospital ever see a nurse as tall as the ceiling with long brown hair, her names Lisa" I smiled at the thought of my mom, she's like the best nurse ever. "Do you mean your mom" he asked and my smile fell. I stared at him a little freaked, how did he know she was my mom. "Um how'd you know" I tried to ask. "You, besides the fact you two look alike we met her when Me and Ash went to your place" I stared at him trying to remember when did they come by. I don't remember Ash being at my place but I remember Sal being in my apartment. Feeding me soup and making me drink water. Man this guy and water. Though it did make my sick ass feel better. Oh shit ya. 

"Oh ya when I was sick, man I was so out of it I barely remember" again with the not thinking. "Man if it's not weed its the flu your brain is always mush" Robert teased. I didn't even smoke that much can't afford it. "Ay you forgot the concussion" I joked and we high fived. Weird thing to high five about cause I might have brain damage. "When were you concussed" Ash asked confused and a little worried. I didn't want to answer, it was ok to joke about but I didn't want to think about it. Also cause it makes me remember the mugger being slashed open and then I get all kinds of shaky and twitchy. Especially with Sally around. Trying not to think about it and just get through this day. 

The bus rolled up and thank god so the conversation ended. Also it took awhile to get here. We all got on, it was packed all the seats were taken and people were all over the place trying to avoid one another. People hated people. I reached up at grabbed a strap loop hanging above. The buses don't have poles in them anymore since they got in the way of strollers and wheel chair users so they only had these loops. We all tried to stand close to the back door. 

Course Robert got a seat in front of me cause he's crippled. Ash and Maple hung out by the door, using the wall to keep them steady, same with Chug. Anything to be beside his lady friend oooo. I could tell Robert was thinking the same thing by the way he smiled. The bus started moving and something caught my eye. I looked at the front. Sal had just gotten on and was trying to walk down to us. He lowered a little so he didn't fall when the bus first started up. Once a speed was set he went to reach up and grab a strapped loop but he was to short to really grab it. 

Ok kind of a dick move but both me and Robert snickered. It was hard not to it was kind of funny. I stretched out my arm to hold the strap he was trying to grab. "Here" I told him so he'd grab on to my arm. Bus drivers like to throttle their passengers and last thing we want is Sal going flying cause he can't hold anything. He took a Shaky hand and grabbed my arm. I could practically see his pupils change from circles to hearts. It was so weird, k-kinda reminded me of the park. 

How he tackled me to the ground and poured his heart out. God I was such a jerk, he poured his heart out and kissed me and I lead him on. But he had a knife. If I didn't say yes I was sure I was gonna die. "Awe that's so gay" Robert said from in front of us. "Man shut up you just jelly" I teased. "I am actually I want a little house husband or wife, feed me food" he gushed. I rolled my eyes at him "there you go again talking about your mistress. I don't wanna hear how she gives it better then me" I fake whined. He just laughed "I fucking love you man" he patted my stomach. "Oh my god Samzies" we both chuckled like idiots. 

Dude always makes situations lighter. "Yall but actually I did get asked out by a girl" he started. "Oh no way" I smiled at him. "Ya but she was kinda open for business like even told me she was on the pill and I was super not into it" he sighed. "Ah sorry man" I offered. Aother issue with girls are age. the out going ones usually end up being over zelous sexually. He sighed dramatically "Why can't I find a cute girl who does sweet things. Like leave me a love letter or share a bento with me" he groaned. "Dude you know why no one will leave you a love letter" I reminded. I know he was sorry but I was still really bitter about it, now I got this love letter and no one to pin it on. "Heh ya I guess...Oh shit I bet that thing got destroyed in the fire. Lucky for them I guess now no one will have evidence except the memories" he rambled.

"You talking about my love letter" I asked. "Ya man bet it burned" he sighed again clearly feeling guilty. "Nah man I have it, right here" I took my right hand and patted my chest pocket of my leather jacket. I felt Sal grip tighter on my arm and I looked over. His pupils, ok pupil, were so large and his ears were so red. "Pff what wait did you go dumpster diving" Robert chuckled. Of course I blushed it was embarrassing. I went dumpster diving for this letter and kept it in my pocket all the time trying to figure out just who could of wrote it. Except it was more like I put it there for safe keeping and forgot about it till this conversation. I turned back to him and hummed in annoyance. "Dude you're such a softy, rest in peace that poor personas heart. May you forgive my dumassery and douchbag nature" he prayed to the space. 

The bus ride was a little long. Even with all of us talking about this and that, except for Sal he just stayed quiet. We all got off the bus and walked down the parking lot to the amusement park entrance. I was kinda surprised Sal actually let go of my arm and was walking behind me. But he always walked behind me even when we walked home. There was no way it was cause I walk fast, I was walking really slow so Robert wasn't left alone as he hobbled to the entrance. 

The thing about coordination is sometimes things get missed or lost in planning. Like who was paying for who. Was I suppose to pay for Sal or were we paying for ourselves since it was a group hangout. I know I just got paid and all but I forgot to budget so I didn't know what was ok to spend yet. Fuck it I wasn't gonna just assume he was fine and make him feel bad if he had no cash on him. I took a twenty out of my inner pocket to pay for both of us, and two dollars. Try not to feel bad about spending money, just have a good time. I screamed at myself as I grabbed my ticket and went to head inside. I have buyers guilt like crazy about everything. 

I heard the clacking of his shoes on the stone ground as he jogged up to me. I quickly turned around getting ready for an attack of some kind. Come on man no ones gonna attack in a place like this. "Ah-um th-thank you for buying my ticket u-um I'll buy us lunch as a-a Thank you" he stammered. Oh god it was adorable, he was so flustered over one ticket. "Nah it's ok it's what boyfriends do" shit did I really just say that. He touched his prosthetic and giggled at the ground as he shuffled a little in his stands. To cute. I have two moods for Sal 'oh fuck' when I think he's a murder and 'my heart' when he does anything remotely cute. Which is everything today. We grabbed a map of the park and everyone agreed roller coaster ally first. We all walked over the bridge and passed the kiddie rides to the roller coasters. Man I haven't been on a roller coaster in a long time. Watching the carts fly on the track was getting me excited. 

"Yo remember the studio ride" Ash pointed out. Do I ever, it was this ride that spun you around the track as you fly forward like car crashes from movies then throws you back and forward. It was so fun "Fuck ya you got like super sick and spent the next few minutes with your head in the garbage" I laughed. "Bluh there was a moldy hot dog in there and it was all I could smell...wanna get on" she cracked a large smile and I mirrored it. We both ran off like little kids racing for the first spot. Which we kinda were, I've known Ash like my whole life. Our moms use to be best friends before we moved so we grew up together for the most part. We rushed to the line and I won first spot, Of course I did I'm longer. She pushed me but it was all fun and games. "Cheat" she told. "Ya right I'm just taller" I pushed her back. "Yo" Maple joined us and we both remembered we were with a group. "Oh shit we ditched Sally" Ash gasped. We both looked out at the park to find him. He was standing beside Robert by the exit gate. 

The look he was giving had me shaken. He looked so pissed even if you could barely see his eyes from the distance. I think he looked pissed, his eyes were so huge that seeing them half lidded like that looked like he was glaring at us. It was intense and scared the crap out of me. "Sorry Sally" she shouted and I swore the glaring got worse. "Why doesn't he come with us" she asked clearly not noticing the sharp look. "He said he was worried about his prosthetic falling off" Maple said simply. I guess I mean even with the straps it could still fall off especially with his hair down like that. I wonder if he kept it in pigtails so people had a harder time trying to get it off. 

The line moved rather quick and we got into the carts shaped like stunt cars. Fucking love this ride even though it gives mad whip lash which is what we all had when we got off. Chug was groaning as he held his neck. I cracked mine and laughed, so much fun. "Dude that sucked lets do it again" Ash laughed. "Oh hell ya" we both quickly ran to the line again. "Morons gonna break your neck" we heard Chug yell. We didn't care, we shoved eachother till we were next to go. Fucking love that ride but the second time was definitely a mistake. I was really feeling that neck pain and Ash had a head ache. But we laughed.

"Alright you two bone heads what now" the group asked. "Pff bone heads please I'm not a skeleton man" Ash joked as she walked over to Sal. She went to put her arm around him but he stepped away from her so she didn't touch him. "You'd be suprised ever got an Xray done" the group laughed at Roberts joke. Was I going crazy why didn't anyone notice the look Sal was giving Ash. Like he was plotting her murder. Maybe it was just me but he looked so pissed and I don't remember his iris being so small. 

"Yall who wants to go on that one suppose to be super high" Maple asked. She pointed to a very high roller coaster and fuck ya I wanted to ride it. "Race ya" Ash darted and the kid in me got competitive. "You're on" I fallowed close behind her the rest of the group probably walking over. She was the first in line this time, but I also tripped like a lot. Damn these long legs and floppy feet. "Dude heh you suck" she laughed breathlessly. "Nah just clumsy as fuck" I also panted. "Fuck man I keep ditching Sally, augh...I hope he understands why" she mumbled out. "Why" I asked her. There was a reason she was ditching him, it wasn't just childhood enjoyment. She sighed and smiled at me but something seemed so sad about it. "You don't remember the last time we hung out" she asked. I blinked, trying to remember. The question kinda came out of no where. 

I remember we use to hang out in my tree house, we use to go scouting in the woods. One time we got lost and camped out in the woods till the police found us. Sometimes we have lunch together so I know we still hang out. "It was just before the school year, we went to a music festival in town and you had to leave early cause your mom had the night off and you wanted to spend time with her. I know you're busy and all and you don't ever get to be with your mom but it still hurt, we never hung out and it was the first time you had a day off all summer." She rambled so seriously. I remembered that night, one of my favorite local bands was playing and I wanted to see them. But when I got that text from my mom about her finally being able to eat dinner with me and the promise of watching a movie I couldn't get home fast enough. "I-I'm sorry" was all I could say. "Ah no it's ok I didn't mean to make you feel bad I just...I miss you man. Even though I have a new best friend it's not the same. Don't get me wrong Sally's great and all, super into punk rock and anything with a heavy beat, can quote every line from 'play misty for me' And oh knows every song from heather's, hes a musical nut ah but it's just not the same" she tapped the gate with her foot.

I guess I know what she means. Sure I got Robert and we can be dumbasses together but I can't really have serious conversations with him. He just doesn't get it sometimes, it's not his fault hes just not Ash. "I hear ya hope he doesn't like try to murder you or something for ya know ditching him" she started laughing but I was serious. "Kill me that's a good one, Sally couldn't hurt a fly he's an animal activist. He's super against the torture and murder of animals in shelters." Ya what about humans and muggers. Man let it go. Maple and Chug walked up to us in line. "You two are like two kids can't take our eyes off you for a second" Chug joked. "Does that make you our parents" Ash laughed and the two blushed at her joke. If they were here that meant Sal was near by. I looked out at the park and spotted Robert. He was talking like mad, he was kind of a chatter box. Sal stood near him moving his foot on the ground. He was writing something in the dirt with his shoes but I couldn't really see it. I squinted but it just looked like lines w-was he drawing Japanese characters. What did '死ぬ' mean. I didn't have much time to concentrate on it as Chug pushed me to move forward. 

The thought of it was shaken out of my head when we road the coaster. It went so high and crashed down so fast I thought I was gonna die. But not actually I knew I was safe. Still fun. Me and Ash kept running to the next coasters like some stupid contest. We got done all of them pretty quick then decided to go through twirl world. Which was just a bunch of spinning rides. Ash's favorite is the music coaster. Its this riggedy cart that moves in a circle while super loud music plays. Its a head splitter but if they have the right jams playing so much fun. We had fun sharing a cart. Maple wanted to go on the pepper shaker. It threw you up and tossed you around in the cage you were strapped in. Robert actually went on this one but Chug wasn't feeling well so he stayed on the ground. Truthfully he hates heights and fast rides. He only went on the coasters because Maple wanted to go on but he hit his limit a long time ago. Next we went on the zero gravity ride, everyone got on but Sal. I guess he was still worried about losing his prosthetic. 

Finally we made it to the tea cups my fave ride. "Oh hell ya I call Larry in my cup dude makes it go so fast" Ash called out. "Lame" Maple pouted "Wanna come on" she asked Chug. The man looked like the thought was gonna make him vomit. So he said no and joined Sal and Robert by the exit. I love this ride so much. Me and Ash got settled into a cup and both placed our hands on the spinning wheel. "Oh wait we should tie up our hair" she said suddenly. Fuck ya we should or we'd hit eachother in the face. I Tied up my hair in a bun and she did the same then the ride began. 

It was like a match to see who could make it spin worse. I barely noticed what was happening but I saw something strange. At the exit gate Robert wasn't smiling, we whipped around and I tried to take in the sight everytime we spun back around. I didn't get much. Chug was also frowning and they both looked at Sal. But he wasn't facing the ride I think he was walking away. But I didn't catch what was going on cause we were going to fast. 

The three of us got off the ride completely dizzy and giggling like crazy as we tried to walk straight. We stopped beside Chug, trying to stay up. "Hey man...where Sally" Ash asked. The man looked guilty some how "Ah over there" he pointed. We all looked down the path. Sal was pretty far, he was standing by a tree and digging his shoe into the ground. "Uh oh" Ash tried to walk forward but stopped when Robert hobbled over to us. He forced a smile on his face. 

"Hey ditsy dreamers what ya say we walk up the water fall path so you can calm down" he tried to chuckle. "Ya you know together like all of us" Chug added. Shit I'm such a jerk. Of course Sal wasn't having a good time he couldn't ride any of the rides and not once did I check in on him. No instead I acted like an over excited child rushing to the next ride with Ash. "Oof man don't I feel like a bitch, hope Sally can forgive me for ditching him around the clock like that" she spoke and I chuckled. "I was thinking the same thing" I told her and she smiled. "Shared brain cell" we tried to high five but our sights were off and we missed completely. At least no one got hit. 

We walked out of the area and up the hill that lead to the waterfall in the center of the park. Me Maple and Ash had a hard time though still so fucking dizzy from the ride. It made us laugh though cause we were walking like drunk idiots. Maple grabbed on to Chug and asked if he could hold her. The man was so red it caused me and Robert to gush. "Dawe" we joked. "Sh-shut up" he tried to sound threatening but it didn't work. "So cute" Ash also gushed. "Ok Yo Sally steady me" she asked reaching out to the man. But of course he walked away from her. "Damn he's still really mad" she mumbled. "Need a hand" Robert asked me. "Ya" he gave me one of his crutches then put an arm around me so we could walk together and use the crutch to keep myself up. He really only needed one anyway. 

We all climbed up to the top and looked down at the water. There was a stone railing keeping people from falling off but it was pretty low. "Oh man this would make a good picture" Ash sat down on the railing and dangled her feet off the edge as she grabbed her phone. "Whow, whow" we all stepped towards her. "Relax I won't fall I have my foot hooked in the bar at best I'd dangle" she rolled her eyes at us then groaned clearly still dizzy. She went to take the pictures anyway. Sometimes she worries me she'd do just about anything for a perfect picture. I looked down at the water then had to close my eyes, it was causing my vision to wack out. I heard a loud scream and opened my eyes. I saw something falling, it quickly registered that it was Ash. The area got flooded with people as she screamed. "Oh no" "Damn it" "Ash" our friends shouted as they watched. But I looked away to where she was sitting just a second ago. Sal was standing by the railing leaning just a little to watch her fall. There was no evidence but I knew he pushed her. 

My shoulder was suddenly grabbed and I was being pulled. "Come on, Sally lets go" Robert shouted. He dragged me away from the scene and we all rushed to the bottom of the fall. I was in shock we all were, the fact that she just fell or was pushed didn't seem real. By the time we all got down there their was a crowd around the small body of water. A couple employees were in the water, pulling her along. Oh god she really did fall. Robert body checked himself to the front screaming that she was our friend. 

The employees let us close and we saw them pull her out. She was drenched and still. Oh fuck did she die, did she drown, did Sally kill her. The employee pressed on her chest and she spat out a bunch of water. Oh thank god she was alive. "Ah anyone holy" she asked and we all sighed in relief. She was ok. The employees checked her to make sure she was ok, nothing broken and no brain damage. We spent a good hour with them while they check everything. Once they were done they said we could stay but to take it easy and that she's not the first to fall into the water. "You ok" Maple asked once they were gone. "Ya peachy fell from whatever height almost drowned and lost a thousand dollar phone" she ranted. "You sure you fell" I asked without thinking. Sal looked at me and I swear he knew what I was talking about. "Dauh Johnson that's why we're here, oh man my phone my dads gonna kill me" she started tearing up. Maple hugged her not carrying if she got wet. I wet to comfort her but Robert pushed me back. He hobbled us a little away from the group so they weren't in ear shot. 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now" he was so pissed. Robert didn't normally get pissed so when he was it was kinda frightening. "I-" couldn't say anything. "I know what you're insinuating, that Sally pushed her. Well he couldn't he was beside me the whole time and he was the first to try and grab her when she did slip. He may be pissed right now but he's not a murderer. He didn't cause my accident, he didn't set fire to the school, and he sure as hell didn't slit some muggers throat. Why don't you get your head out of your ass and see the man thats in front of you" he hissed at me in a whisper. Once he was done he hobbled away to the group. my shoulders sank as the weight of his words hit me. 

I know I'm being the worst. That's why I have to break up with him. He shouldn't be with someone who is always looking for a reason to blame things on him. I sighed and looked over at the group. They were all comforting Ash even Sal who had placed a hand on her back. "Hey this was kinda terrifying lets go grab something to eat" Chug asked. That made them chuckle and smile. "Ok but first I need to go to the bathroom" Ash stood up but still held her friend. "Ya bathroom break." We walked to the washrooms which were hidden in a clearing surrounded by trees. The girls walked to the girls side and we walked to the guys side. Except Sal stayed in the clearing I guess he didn't have to go. We walked in and Chug went for a stall as quick as he could. Man I hate public washrooms they always make me feel dirty and covered in germs. Even after washing my hands. But when you had to go, you had to go.

I'm the only one out of my friends that uses a urinal. Even Robert preferred a stall even with his cast leg. I washed my hands, still feeling germy. A loud banging caused me to look over at the stalls. "You ok man" I asked. "Ya peachy I don't need help" Robert said but clearly sounded disgruntled. Dude hates being helped. "Alright man I'm leaving Chug will help you if you need" I smiled cause he banged about in the stall. Such a stubborn man. I left and as soon as I did I heard yelling. It was Sal he was telling someone to knock it off. I walked around the corner to see the clearing. A deep anger struck me at the sight. Some brute ripped off his prosthetic then screamed at the sight. My brain turned off and I ran at him throwing a punch so damn hard he fell to the ground. He dropped the mask and scurried away. But I was still boiling, how fucking dare he just attack someone out of nowhere and rip off something they're wearing.

I wanted to chase him down and hit him again but a small whimper caught my attention. I looked over at Sally, remembering he was still here. He was hold his hair over his face to cover himself. But I knew he was crying, he was shaking so much. "Sally" I asked and he hiccuped. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I-I know I get intense sometimes a-and I didn't mean to make you unconformable w-with ffff t-this My stupid monstrous face, I'm sorry" he sputtered. Fuck that hurt to hear. I wanted to cry for him from those words. I picked up his mask and walked over to him. Fuck it. "Catch" I lightly tossed it at him and he removed his hands to catch the prosthetic. That left an opening for me. I slid my hand up his neck and cheek, wrong time to be thinking how big my hands are. I held his head up so he'd look at me and yep he was crying.

"You don't have a monstrous face" I started cause it wasn't. I never thought he was monstrous, sure it looked like it hurt but his face was like a painting with an untold story. It was something to guess and interpret. "People are like canvases, some have freckles, some have dimples. But you, you are a painted canvas with a story of triumph and survival on your face. And One day I'd love to hear the story behind every curve and marks. But for now I'll just marvel in the intrication of every scar" god I was so stupid. It sounded sweet in my head but now I think I was insulting him.

He looked like he was gonna start sobbing and I felt bad for making it worse. But he pressed into my hand and closed his eyes as ya as he sobbed. "N-No ones ever said something so sweet to me" ouch my heart. I had to hug him, just hold him and let him know the world can be kind. I stepped towards him and leaned down a little cause dude was short. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He gripped my jacket and barried his head in my shoulder as he cried. I smiled at it, super bad of me but he was kinda cute. He was so small in my arms and it weirdly made me wanna hold him more. How could I ever think this man was a murderer or would hurt the people close to him. He was just an intense dude trying to figure out how to behave normal because of his time in a hospital. I stroked his open hair, feeling like this weight was lifting this fear just melting away.

"Oh dang" I heard someone say. "Heh Gaaaaayyyyy" Robert shouted out and I breathed out in annoyance at him. But ya it was kinda funny. Sal turned away from the washrooms and put his prosthetic back on before anyone could see him. "So decided you were delusional or are you still concussed" Robert asked openly. Not like anyone would get it he's the only one I told. "Ya think I was delusional" I would of smiled but I notice Roberts cast was wet. "Is your cast wet" I asked. "I don't wanna talk about it" I chuckled at him. So stubborn. The girls walked out of the rest room. "Well I think that's as dry as I'm gonna get" Ash groaned. She was still soaked but alive at least. "Food" Chug asked. "Pff I think my mistress found a new mister" Robert joked. "Thats what you get cheater" the group laughed at that. Sal lightly gripped my sleeve and I let him.


	7. running without moving

We all went to the food court for burger and fries. Man I was starving and I didn't realize till I smelt food. We all sat down at this round booth. I sat close to the edge with Sal beside me and Robert on my other side. I didn't mind though, It was so weird but after I saw him cry it was like that murderous image I had of him shattered. 

He ate his fries slowly, taking two and dipping them into his chocolate shake. "Ah what is with you and putting chocolate on stuff" Ash suddenly groaned, like he had just ran his nails down a chalk board. "It's good" Sal said with such a small voice. I bet he has to struggle to keep it that low. With how deep his voice is maybe it was booming to. "This guy, he once put chocolate on a pickle and ate the whole damn thing" the group cringed but I just chuckled. Like what the fuck did he actually do that, that sounded so gross. "Yall that's nasty" I spoke. "You have no room to talk you put BBQ sauce on a donut" she pointed at me. "It was a bagel" I corrected, call me out better get it right man. "That's some how worse" Robert commented. Man no one knows that shit was tasty also I had nothing else at the time and that bagel needed zest. I rolled my eyes at them. "E-ever had cheeto macaroni" Sal asked and I smiled so fucking huge. That sounded terrible. "That sounds down right awful I'm in" he giggled at me and ya I'll admit my heart did flutter at the sound. Pretty sure everyone was done with it. But honestly you don't know atrocious till you've seen Ash drown wafer cookies in cheese spray. Chug really wanted to go on the bumper cars after lunch. I wasn't really feeling it, think I hurt my brain enough today. The group got in line but I stood by the exit. "Y-You're not going on the cars" Sally asked me as I joined him and Robert. "Nah anymore head injury's and I will have brain damage" I joked but it could also be a real issue I'll have. "You mean you don't already" Robert joked and I laughed at him. "Ya maybe" I joked back. I coukd though. Sal was so quick to grab my jacket and try to reach up to check my head. It startled me"Ah w-we're joking" I stammered. He stepped back, his eyes so wide like he just offended someone. "O-oh" he looked down as his ears pinked. "That's adorable he really thought you were hurt" Robert gushed. "The response time" was what I was impressed with, he was on me so fast. 

"W-well if you were hurt, better to take care of it fast darling" he mumbled. "Ah the dokies my heart its to cute" Man if I could I'd push Robert down but he wouldn't be able to get back up with his leg. I just rolled my eyes instead. The three of us watched as our friends got into the cars then just went all battle royal on eachother. As we watched I notice Sal ever so slightly moving towards me. It was adorable like he was actually shuffling over to me as discreetly as he could. Fuck it I stretched out my arm and put it over him. Resting my hand on his shoulder. He did tense for a second but leaned into me once he realized what happened. "Oooo it's so gay" I'm gonna chuck this man into the pit I swear. Didn't take long for the group to get out of the cars when they were done. They walked up to us and we got ready to go wherever. "Yo I think I need to go home I feel so sick after that" Ash held her head as she spoke. 

"Well ya you drowned today" she laughed but I didn't see the humor in it. "Ah my dads gonna kill me" she groaned. "I think he should be happy you're alive cause that's a miracle from how high you fell" Robert told her. "Yes a miracle" Sally commented, that sounded so menacing. Why did it sound menacing. "Ya hopefully" I guess that was settled our little hangout was over. Feels like something's missing though. "One thing before we go fairs-wheel anyone" Robert asked. Chug paled at the word and I almost started cackling. "Come on please I've only been on one ride this whole trip and Sal hasn't been on any what kind of a first experience is that" the man ranted. "Oof I guess that's true I'm sorry Sal forgive me for being a child and ditching you" Ash pleaded as we all turned to make our way to the large wheel. "Ash you almost died I think we're even" I looked over my shoulder at them. Sal grabbed Ash's arm kinda hard if I was seeing right and whispered something in her ear. Her smile fell and fear settled into her features. What did he say. "Y-You ok" I asked as I turned around to look at them better. She didn't look at me "Ya I'm fine" her voice was kinda shaky. "Come on man" Robert grabbed my arm to keep me walking. But if I turned around would something happen to Ash. I had this nagging fear that she was gonna get hurt again. Was I still suspicious of Sal or just worried cause she already got hurt today. 

I didn't hear them speak, just the clacking of Sal's shoes on the stone ground. We walked in line for the wheel and I turned around to look at Ash. She was still avoiding my gaze, what did he say to her. "Man the fairest wheel how romantic" Maple gushed then nudged Ash. "Huh uh ya super romantic" she forced a smile. "Romantic ay" Robert whispered to me, my gaze shifted to Sal who was looking up at the ride. Knowing everyone, they'd make us share a cart alone. The thought mad me blush, knowing I'd be alone with Sal just the two of us, no witnesses no on lookers. Man I wish I could make up my mind am I scared of him or falling for him. "You ok should I ride with you" Maple asked Ash. "No-no I'm ok I'll bunk with Robert" she stepped back from the group. "Heck ya I'll take the perfect picture for you" he enthused. Everyone was mostly quiet as we waited. An uneasiness settled in me. The employee let people off, emptying each cart one by one. "Oh speaking of photos Sally get over here" Robert waved him over. He slowly walked over clearly uneasy. Robert stepped back into the line and took out his phone. He was obviously taking a picture. "Man come on you two look so stiff and uneasy relax a little" he told. I stepped towards Sal and tried to smile, but my heart was speeding up and I couldn't tell why. Anxiety, fear, embarrassment, love struck. Shit was confusing. 

"Not any better" I rolled my eyes. "Boy don't sass me give mama the good pic" he yelled at me. I had to smile, it was so stupid. He clicked the camera. "Oh dude it's so cute" he gushed. "Let me see" he handed me the phone and I lowered my hand so we could both see the picture. Ok seriously, in the picture I was smiling but Sal was looking up at me like a love sick puppy. He was so cute it made my whole body blush. I passed the phone back over. "Cute right, I'm a send that to all of you" Robert fiddled on his phone and the gate to the line was opened. Oh man we'd be in the same cart together just the two of us. Our friends pushed us forward, I went in first cause it was kind of wobbly then held out my hand to Sal. He hesitated but slowly took my hand. Fuck I forgot how cold he was, his skin felt so nice on my firey hand. It also made me realize I was burning up.

He stepped inside and the employee shut the door. Now it was just the both of us and fuck I was so nervous. The cart moved just so the other could be emptied but it was unexpected. Sal fell forward and I rushed to catch him. He was so small he just fit so perfectly in my arms. "Ah-s-sorry I-I should sit down" he pulled back just a little. "Ah its all good H-here" I guided him down to sit with me on the one side. This is somehow worse then him sitting across from me starring at me. We moved up but stopped, they were probably still filling the wheel. I looked out the window at the scenery outside. The sun was starting to set which lit everything in pink and orange. It was perfect I hope Ash gets a good picture so I can paint it. The image of her face, freaked out crossed my mind. "A-Ah Sal er I mean Sally w-what did you say to Ash earlier" I asked not really knowing what to call him, I've never used his name to his face. 

"Huh I asked if she was alright" was he being smart with me right now. Ok was kind of a broad term. "Uh I meant when we left the bumper cars she looked frightened" I tried again. Would he lie to me? "Oh" he looked down at my shoes. "I-you two seem really close" he mumbled. "Uh ya she's kind of my found sister we basically grew up together, why what did you say" he twittled his fingers still not looking at me. "I said you seem chummy I suppose I made her self conscious" now he was just playing with his fingers as he looked away. "What were you jealous" I didn't think before speaking, just the thought of anyone being jealous of Ash was kinda funny. But the thought of anyone liking me that much was kind of a hard idea to except. "Maybe I was a little, watching you two run around together and have so much fun while I stayed on the ground with your friend. I've been a little neurotic" was that my fault. I know I ditched him alot today to be with her. I didn't check in with him either, I guess he was feeling left out. Man no wonder he was glaring daggers and writing shit in the dirt. 

Man I haven't been a very good boyfriend, he deserves better. "Sal why do you like me" why was I even asking. Would it make me feel better or was I looking for new ways to degrade myself. "Isn't it obvious it's because your so amazing. So caring and strong. You can say you're not but it's not true. Sure you're dense very dense but you notice when it counts and you're there for the people around you. They matter to you and you truly give a damn. That's what makes you so amazing darling you have a heart and it's so big and full of love" does he not pay attention to the shit he says. Who talks like that. Why is he so adorable augh my heart feels shy. "Heh you're blushing you know" he looked at me through his lashes with those damn heart shaped pupils. "W-well when you say stuff like that" the wheel began to spin and we slowly moved up. I watched the sun set, trying my best to not think about what Sal said to me. But it rang in my head. He really thought those things about me, looked at me and saw a kind person not some fight hungry delinquent like most people do. And here I was convinced he was a murder. 

I felt something cold touch my hand on the bench and I blushed more. It was his hand, I felt his fingers run over mine and rest on top. He wanted to hold my hand, the thought made my heart beat so loud. I looked over but he was looking away, maybe he was to shy to see what he was doing. He was so cute I just wanted to kiss him, show him I can be nice to. "H-Hey" he tensed as I spoke. "Um d-do you mind removing the prosthetic" I asked, hope I didn't offended him. He removed his hand from mine and slowly moved to unclasp his mask. "A-are you sure" he asked. "I'm not scared of you" that wasn't entirely true but it's not like I'm scared of his face. Just him sometimes, when my brain is damaged. He unclasped the top strap and removed the mask. But he didn't look at me. 

I wan't to see that canvas he wore, to trace every curve with my eyes. But I didn't want to force him I knew it was a hard thing for him. I reached out and slowly brushed his hair away from his neck. He tensed and seemed to shiver at my touch. I moved down and placed a kiss on his cool skin. Except his neck wasn't cold like the rest of him it was hot. Probably from his blush. He jolted then quickly looked at me with those big turquoise eye's. Just like I knew he would. Before he could ask anything I placed a hand on his cheek and pressed my lips to his. Feeling the scars on my skin I noticed he was also soft. Really soft. I could feel him falling into my arms, like he was melting at the feeling. I was lost in the kiss as the sweetest taste entered my mouth. God why did he taste so sweet he had meat for lunch should't he taste salty or something. Why was this so amazing, I've never gotten so lost in a kiss before. It was intense. But I had to breath. We both sat back to take in a breath, fuck that was so needed. A smile stretched over his features, wide and cat like. Ya that's right he had a curvy mouth. Ack my heart, Cheshire cat mouths and curvy cupids bow were my weakness and he has both. 

"A-Ah Know I should of s-said this earlier but I think you look really pretty today" I tried to keep eye contact as I spoke so I didn't hurt his feelings but it was hard when I felt this awkward. He brought his hands to his face, barely covering his smile as he looked at the bench. "R-really" he asked. "Ya you're really....cute" think something snapped in him at that. He lunged at me and grabbed my arm, wrapping his hands around it and barring his face in my jacket. Fuck he was so adorable.

After the ride we all left the park. The gang did nothing but tease me about the blush on my face when me and Sal exited our cart. God I hate my friends sometimes. I got off at my bus stop thoroughly annoyed with them. Sal got off to, was he gonna walk me home. "Ah are you walking me home" I asked as he walked up to me. "Yes I don't want you to get attacked again" I blinked at him. Me attacked what about him he's like half my size. "Ah what about you" he started walking and I hurried to fallow. "Don't worry about me I can protect myself, besides I live near by" some how I didn't believe that. There was just something neat about Sal, like he was always overly clean. That's not something you are around these parts. 

"I'm serious maybe I should take you home I'll be fine walking alone around here" but I guess I'm not since I was mugged. He stayed silent. Man what a stubborn guy. "Fine just text me when you get home so I know you're safe" alright so it kinda pissed me off a little. I know I got hurt but I wasn't unable to defend myself. I was a lot more capable then tiny little Sal. Pff the murderer. "Can't believe I ever believed that" he looked at me and tilted his head a little. Oh shit did I say that out loud. "Believed what my darling" shit. "Uh-" do I tell him, what if I hurt his feelings again. "Well sorta heh thought that um you uh set fire to the school and cut the strap to the shelf that fell on Robert. Though um for a bit th-that you w-were hurting people" he just looked at me without saying anything and I felt so bad. Was his heart breaking under the mask it was so hard to tell. "Bu-but I don't think that now I-I'm sorry man" I rubbed my neck fuck I felt so terrible. I should of kept my mouth shut. 

"Why did you suspect me" his eyes were narrow like he was searching for something. "Ah well ok it took me a lot longer then I like to admit to well admit this was just a dream but a little bit ago I got mugged and concussed then had this memory which I know now was a dream of uh the mugger getting his throat slashed a-and you were the one um cutting him. I-I know its super fucked up and I'm sorry, th-then after that I met you and was kinda uneasy because of the dream but I'm not now. I-I'm sorry" I stammered trying my best to apologize for my stupid brain. "You thought I murdered someone" he asked. "Ya I'm so sorry, Robert helped me rationalize it. I was super concussed and my brain panicked and constructed a fucked up out come for the situation and like I didn't even know you at the time I met you like the day after made no sense" stop blabbing you're making it worse. "I get it, your brain wanted justice because he hurt you with a gun that was clearly unloaded, you wanted him to pay." He sounded way to calm. "Ya can't really trust cops ya know" it took a sec but I realized something. He said the man had a gun, I've never told anyone that. He was behind me now, like he always is when we walk. Did he really say that. I stopped walking and turned to him. He stopped and stared. "H-How did you know it was a gun" I asked. What was I expecting as an answer. What would make me feel better.

"Darling I promised you I'd protect you, no one hurts you while I'm around. No one" his voice was so dark. I felt stabbed with fear. "W-what did you do" I couldn't get my voice out as I asked. "What I had to, he hurt you" Oh fuck it wasn't a dream. H-he actually killed someone, in front of me and told me to be quiet about it. What the fuck. Oh god I was gonna throw up, fell through the floor and shatter back into myself. Run. fucking run. Just run. "Darling are you alright you look pale" he stepped towards me. He was acting like we were still together, like he didn't just conform my fears. Like he wasn't the thing in the night watching me. Run. I ran, I bolted down the streets. Just get home lock everything, call the police. Holy fuck he really killed someone. Just slit someones throat with no remorse and cleaned everything up. Went to school the next day and tried to kill Robert. Fuck If I wasn't there how much worse would his injury's be, would he be paralyzed or actually dead. Would I be attending a funeral right now if I didn't drag him out. I was crying I know I was.

It was like my dreams, being chased in the dark by him, trapped by my surroundings. I ran to my building and tried to get in quickly. I hit the elevator but it was already going up. "Fuck" I ran to the stairs I didn't have time to wait I had to call the police now. I made my way to my floor and rushed to unlock my door. I flew inside and quickly triple locked it. I let my keys drop to the ground as I rushed to grab my phone. God my hands were so shaky. I dialed the first two numbers then a hand grabbed my phone from my grasp. I was stunned, mom wasn't home yet. I looked out at the apartment and I swear my heart stopped. Sal stood in my apartment holding my phone. H-how did he get in, how did he beat me here, how did he have time to take off his prosthetic. I was faster then him. Wasn't I. 

"Who are you calling my darling, oh look at you you're petrified. There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm here to keep you safe" he babbled. Did he babble I could barely comprehend his words from how afraid I was. He took my phone, the only thing I had to call out for help. "I-I am afraid, I'm afraid of you-you killed somebody" I shouted without realizing. I needed to leave some how but fuck I had dropped my keys. There was no way I could grab them without him attacking me. "I did it for you, he stole from you and hurt you. The police wouldn't do anything about that so I did. Now he won't hurt you every again" he stepped towards me and I stepped back. "Y-you're crazy actually psychotic" I felt like I was losing my mind. I was actually arguing with a killer like an old married couple. "Oh darling I know we're fighting but you don't have to be so mean" he pouted actually pouted like this was just a casual fight. "I'm not your darling I can't date someone who killed a man I don't care for your reasoning" I shouted before I could think better of it. Just play along man that all you had to do until he gave you your phone back but no I had to shatter his delusion. 

I wish I didn't, he removed his hand from behind his back and held a large kitchen knife. I screamed and tried to run, anywhere. But my stupid clown feet got caught on the couch leg and I tripped and fell. I quickly turned around and saw him fall on top of me. I closed my eyes as I waited for the impact of the knife but it never came. I opened my eyes and looked at what was happening. The knife was beside me, stabbed into the floor and probably cutting parts of my hair. At least its the hair. "I-I can't, I can't hurt you my love, it's not your fault you're scared. You never got the chance to know me like I know you. You never got to fall for me the way I did" he was crazy. "I-I'm not gonna fall in love with you phyco" shut up he's gonna kill you. But he just smiled at me to sweet for what was happening. "Yes you will, we're meant to be together I just have to show you" I couldn't speak. He leaned down and kissed me. I could of bitten him but that sweetness filled my senses before my shock could die down enough for me to think. Why did he taste like this. A knock at the door caught both of our attention and he shot up to look at the door. Could he even see it from behind the couch. "Larry open up god I hate it when you triple lock this door" mom oh shit it was my mom. Sal got up and wiggled the knife out of the ground. Was he gonna hurt her. He walked passed me and towards the kitchen. "You shouldn't keep your mom waiting my darling" he was casual. I forced myself off the floor then rushed to the door. I unlocked it then opened it for her. 

She looked so tired as she walked in. "Augh you would not believe the day I had so many druggies coming in and causing a fuss, then a doctor almost killed a man because he read a chart wrong well you can imagine the up roar that was. Oh Sally I didn't see you there" how was I gonna tell her. Tell her that there was a murderer in the apartment who was in love with me. There was no evidence no crime scene. Just my word against his and that shit never pans out. Was he gonna kill us both and make it look like a suicide, or kill my mom to make me completely alone. They were talking but I couldn't hear them over the sound of my heart. I closed the door then walked towards them. Sal was placing something from our slow cooker onto plates. Oh ya I remember it was on before I left this morning. I thought it was odd because mom never used the slow cooker. "Hahaha you're so cute, you must really like my Lar-bear" that I did registered. The fuck were they talking about. "I just wanted to cook for him" he was wearing his prosthetic, where did it come from. Oh god my head hurts, I'm so exhausted. "Hey Larry come say good bye to your friend and thank him for making us this meal" he made it, he turned on the slow cooker. What did he do break in while I was asleep and prepare it. Ya that's totally what he did isn't it. "I'll see you at school, Th-Thank you for today" was he stuttering. Was he actually being bashful right now. After that display with the knife. He hugged me and I felt like a tidal wave had crashed into me. "I'll text you when I get home just like you asked" he reminded me then moved to leave. 

"Bye Sally see you soon" My mom waved goodbye as he left. Was this really happening, was everyone acting normal after all that. "Hey get over here" mom called out to me. I dragged my feet over to the dinning table. How lost was I that I didn't even notice them setting up the table. I fell into my seat and looked at the food. Ok how what and when. There was a seasoned roast on my plate along with some vegetables and mash potatoes. Did he do all this before I woke up or while I was running home and how did he beat me here. "Hmm oh god this is so good, got yourself a little chef. Maybe even a little house husband if you play your cards right" my mom giggled. Her smile fell when I looked at her. "Whow relax I was joking sorta. A-are you not into guys, are you not bi anymore. Cause it's ok if you changed it" how was I suppose to respond. "I...don't...know" was all I could get out. The truth was a long story. "It's ok to be confused as long as you're happy and with someone that makes you feel loved, don't even have to be with someone as long as you're happy" bless her heart. "All I'm saying is Sally's a good cook who really seems to like you, if you're interested there opportunity" don't I know it. 

I picked up the fork and started eating. How the fuck does he make meat taste sweet. The flavor reminded me of the shepherds pie mom made a bit ago....it wasn't mom was it. Oh my god he's been breaking in and making me meals and I've just been pinning it on my mom. What else has he done cleaned, stolen things. I remembered the Jason boxers he had on when I accidentally looked up his skirt. Those were mine weren't they. I groaned and stood up. "You alright" mom asked. "I'm so fucking tired" I threw my fork and went to go to my room. "Larry watch your mouth...what am I gonna do with him" I heard her whisper. It hurt but I couldn't dwell on it. Sally said he'd text me but he had my phone. Fuck another thing of mine he stole and how was I suppose to wake up without my alarm. I threw myself on the bed. Maybe it'll just be a dream, I'll wake up tomorrow to 'good morning' by Judy Garland. Sickeningly sweet but enough to get me out of bed. Ya that's it just a dream. No one can commit a murder and clean it up that quick. Chasing me around with a knife that's so stupid. 

I passed out pretty quick. But adrenaline does that to you. I woke up to an all to familiar tune of Judy Garland singing good morning. I groaned and reached up to my night stand to turn the damn thing off. I grabbed my phone and turned off the alarm then checked my notifications. Holy fuck there were fifty texts from Sal. Did the guy like not sleep or something. I barely read them there was so many. Stuff like 'sweet dreams my darling' 'hope you don't have nightmares tonight' 'oh I forgot something important' 'I love you' 'did you leave your phone in the kitchen' 'silly boy it'll be dead by the time you have to get up' 'guess I'll just have to come wake you up' 'are you allergic to avocado'.

Wait what. Hang on did he say he was coming over. I heard a noise coming from outside my room and I bolted out of bed. I didn't even grab some pants as I ran out into the apartment. Holy shit, Sal was in the kitchen cooking. He was in his school uniform but had an apron on. He turned to me "Oh good morning my darling I was worried your phone wouldn't wake you ack darling your not wearing any pants I-I'm not ready yet" he quickly turned away and covered his eyes. Ready for what. I looked down at myself in form fitting boxers that left little to the imagination. Shit. I ran back into my room to change. Wait why was I running he was in my house uninvited I might add. Whatever I threw on my uniform quickly then headed back out. Ok tell the man to leave. Sally was setting a plate full of food on the dinning table. There were eggs and toast some avocado slices. "I made you some breakfast, oh wait I forgot the milk, almond milk it's better for you and easier on the stomach. Plus it's sweet like you my darling" I cracked a smile at that. Wait no there is no being cute, this guy just broke in. 

"Sally-" "Come on there's not a lot of time you should eat before we leave" for whatever reason I sat down. It smelt really good and I was hungry ok, I didn't eat last night. "You're mom took the left overs for work so I made you some potato salad and mini sandwiches for lunch, anything you want to drink" he made me lunch already, how long has he been here. He stared at me expectantly and it made me uneasy. "Ah juice" was all I could get out. "How about some rose tea" why the fuck would he ask if he already had a drink picked out. "Why would you ask then" I said way more angerly then I meant. "Because you're opinion matters silly" this man. I ignored it and ate what was given to me. It was kinda bland compared to what he normally makes. But toast and avocado are basically flavorless. Why was I eating this, I should throw a fit and tell him to leave, call the cops now that I have my phone on me. But here I sat like a tool eating food made by a love sick killer.


	8. My life

I wasn't talkative today. I was pissed and scared. I know Sally had a knife on him. I remember it poking me when we kissed in the park. Plus he's shown he has no limit of what he'd do. We walked to school together so I couldn't call the cops. He was like glued to my side this time instead of walking behind me. It was annoying and frightening. We walked up the hill and Immediately I saw Robert. I booked it, I ran at him as fast as I could. I know I scared him but I was scared myself. I had to tell him he needed to get his mom involved. I grabbed his arm and held him close. "Whow killer careful" he chuckled. I heard Ash giggling from behind me. Guess she was here to. "Dude I have something I need to tell you it's important" I began wanting him to walk away with me. Or hobble. 

"Wheres the fire" he asked. The fire was in the fucking school. I tried to pull him discreetly away. "L-Larry don't tell em people might thing I'm loose" Sally covered his prosthetic as he looked at the ground. Was he for real. What did he have to be lose about, loose canon, loose mind set. "You dog" Robert nudged me. "Larry don't you dare whatever happened between you guys should stay between you, I'm heading to class want me to walk with you" Ash spoke. "No I'll walk alone" Sally started leaving. He's leaving but I'm still trapped by social construct. If I try to say anything now no one will listen. Except Robert will, I have to get him to home room fast so we can talk. 

We all disbanded to go to class. Can't even say disbanded we all walked to the same class except for Maple who was older then us and Ash who was younger. It was just me and the boys, walking into class and sitting down at the back. Ok now here's my shot, no girls, no Sal just us. I tapped him and he turned around to face me. A wide smile on his face "So what happened" he chuckled. What happened, what happened is I'm dating a psycho. "He admitted it man, He admitted to killing that mugger" I started. His smile fell and he sighed "seriously" he asked I think. "Ya I told him what happened and how I thought it for so long and he was all 'I did what I had to' " I told quickly. He shook his head at me. "Maybe he meant it sarcastically" he sounded annoyed which made me annoyed. "Does that sound sarcastic to you plus I ran and he broke into my apartment and chased me around with a knife, telling me that I'll fall for him the way he did for me cause we're meant to be" I tried to retell the story. 

"Ok now that's BS do you even hear yourself sounds like something straight out of a shitty slasher movie. There's no way sweet little Sal did that I bet you dreamed it again. You do dream about him alot and in not so flattering ways. What the fuck is wrong with you man Sally really likes you and you're framing him for a murder that never happened and a few accidents. Leave the poor guy alone and just break up with him already" he turned away and I knew not to press. Ya if only I could break up with him. Fuck if he didn't believe me then what makes the police any different. It's a he said she said situation and those never go over well. Its years of court dates that waste everyone's time. Guess I'm back to square one, trying to find some evidence on him. Get him arrested and out of my life so I can breath easy. I looked out the window as class started. The field was being cleaned and set up for gym. It's a warm day and we'd end up doing something that involves lots of running which my clumsy ass will hurt myself. I'm not looking forward to sharing a class with Sal.

Home room sucks but I didn't want gym to come. Of course it had to. I changed into my gym clothes and went outside to the field like everyone else. Sal was already on field along with some other girls. We looked at eachother as I walked by. Once everyone was out of the change rooms the whole class was ordered to run laps as a warm up. Fuck gym. I started running like everyone else then a flash of blue ran by me. Holy hell Sally was fast, he was faster then me but how. He had the littlest legs of anyone in the class. It didn't take him long to run up to me again. As he passed he winked at me. Was he showing off. "Oh dang move its Sally" fuck you Robert. He passed me a lot during the warm up, it didn't even look like he was panting from all that. What does he actively run a marathon. The teacher stood at the front of the class to tell us that we were playing red rover. End me. During the separation I ended up on the opposite team as Sal. Of course I did the teacher was a bastered and loved setting boys against girls and guess who always wore the female gym uniform. 

The game forced each team to hold their team members hands and create a link then the teams suppose to shout 'red rover red rover send so in so over' and who ever was picked gets to run at the links and try and break them. If they break the link they get to take someone back with them. If they don't they become part of the team. The worst game to play with Sal. But I'm guessing any game would be if you were against him. The group yelled out names and my team took pride in not getting caught by any of the girls and catching every one of them. The someone yelled my worst fear, Since the beginning of the game Sal's been staring me down. I know I'm his target and someone finally yelled out his name. Fuck my life. The guy holding my hand tightened his grip. That's not gonna help man. Sally charged at us and immediately broke our link. Fuck he was strong, or his legs would be from that power. The group stopped laughing at finally losing. The girls cheered across the field. 

"I choose Lar-bear" Sally cheered. I fucking knew it. My other link let go of my hand and Sally grabbed my arm. He pulled me so I'd walk with him across the field. "I hope I didn't hurt your hand my love I know I ran pretty hard at it" he didn't sound sorry at all. "I'm fine" I couldn't help being snippy. "Are you still mad after last night, is that why you didn't eat your dinner, you were mad at me" this guy. "Are you serious right now eating your food is the last thing on my mind" he gripped my arm tight as we walked up to his team. I turned to face the field and held my hand out for him to take. This is what he wanted, to win and hold my hand. But he hesitated in taking it, staring at me for a second. He put his hand in mine and it was warm. I didn't like that, my hand was cooler then his and it didn't feel right. Sally wasn't called on again since he was the only one that broke the link. Then one of them called on me and his grasp got tighter. 

"Let go, don't be such a child I'll be back" I snarled. He did let me go and I ran as fast as I could across the field, tripping once I got close enough and I fell into a link. Using them to stop myself from falling and breaking them. "Dude you were suppose to let us catch you" one of them said to me. "I tripped" it was a lie though I would of broken the link regardless. Why it was my chance to get away from Sal. These guys wouldn't call him, he'd be alone on the other side and I'd have space from him. But something didn't sit right about the image of Sal being all alone. Man put your empathy away, he's a murderer that tried to slice you up last night. I ran back with some one and took his hand again. Fuck me. We won but of course we did it was Sally he's made it perfectly clear he'd do anything to win. After changing and lots of deodorant cause wow. I sat on the grass with Robert and Sally or course. I laid down in between them, just reevaluating everything. Searching my memories for signs of Sal in the back ground. 

Ash sat down with us and so did Maple and Chug. Chug got to miss out on gym cause he helps the librarian during class. Which he does so he can stare at Maple during study hall. "Hey Larry don't you have a lunch" Someone asked me and I just groaned. "No he doesn't bring a lunch his house husband makes him meals" Robert laughed. Fuck you. I noticed Sal flinch from beside me and that alarmed me. I looked at him and he was holding his shoulder bag close to him. That Mary Poppins bag. Oh ya he said he made me sandwiches today. Not like I'd eat it anyway. Except I am hungry and he did put alot of time into it just for me. Ah no quit it with your goody nature, he used those same hands to slit someones throat. "I-I don't w-wanna pressure you" he began to say and I barely caught it. He wanted me to eat it, no I'm not doing what he wants anymore. I already spent most of gym holding his hand. "Don't be rude Johnson Sally made you something" Maple started. "Ya dude thats pretty shitty of you to ignore it" Chug added. Fuck all of you. 

"Ah no it's ok guys he doesn't have to eat it" shut up you adorable killer. Robert hit me with his crutch and I grabbed it. That was it. I threw the thing well out of reach. "What the fuck is your problem" Ash asked me. "Seriously lost much" Chug stood up to grab the crutch. "Fine hand it over" I held out my hand to Sal. He blinked at me then opened his bag. "There are nicer ways to go about it crazy" Maple mumbled. I'm crazy fuck you he's the crazy one and I'm the one trapped in a social cage. He handed the tuple wear over then took out his water container. Which I'm sure had that rose tea he mentioned in it. I popped off the lid of the tuplewear. There was a folding fork already inside along with potato salad and triangle sandwiches. It was neat and only furthered the others glaring. To them I looked like some necrotic ass hole that did shit to Sal then acted like he was nothing the next day. I hate this. I took the fork and ate what was given. I hate this, I hate how amazing this tasted. How the fuck do you make potato salad sweet and not gross. 

"Pff you're trying so hard to be a jerk but you're blushing man" Robert tapped me. Fuck off. "Awe cute let me take a pic" Ash took a picture of me eating the food. I guess acting the way I feel wasn't gonna help my situation it was just gonna make it worse. I had some of the tea but not a lot it was just really flower. I like my drinks bitter, sweet drinks take me forever to drink. But Robert wasn't gonna let me hand it back till I was finished. The three of us went to home ec and parted to our different kitchens. Mine was the closest. I threw my bag on the ground and slammed the water bottle on the counter, scaring Todd who was already going through the cook books. 

I didn't mean to I'm just pissed. "Sorry" I tried to apologize. "Whats in the container" he asked as he set down the book and walked over to the water bottle. "Tea given by a psychopath" I grabbed a book and started flipping through myself. He popped off the lid and smelt it, why. "Oh roses" he smiled. That was rare he barely smiled. "So" I asked. "Well I think its funny you called the person a psychopath, psychopaths are narcissistic by nature and value themselves over all other. Thinking they are whats normal, they don't love others and if they do they don't love them for long or value them over themselves. This tea is pink rose blend and strong which means who ever made it grows roses and tends to them so they don't become poisons on consumption. Rose tea is an antioxidants" he went off. So I think I remember say this guy was factual and loved explaining things to its bare minimum which works for me cause I'm stupid. 

I just stared at him. "You don't know what that means, antioxidants are compounds that help combat the effects of free radicals. Radicals are reactive molecules that cause cellular damage and lead to oxidation stress, which is associated with many diseases and premature aging. Rose tea also lowers stress which allows happiness to blossom. Who ever gave you this is not a psychopath, they're someone who's trying to relief you of stress and heighten your joy as well as cleaning your body. Also it's said rose tea makes you fall in love with the brewer but I'd suggest talking to Sally about it he's an herbalist." That bastered. He gave me a tea to make me fall in love with him. I grabbed the water bottle then held it over the sink. "What are you doing ah I'm sure it's not true um whatever I said" Todd panicked but why. I looked up at the class and saw Sal staring at me. Not his normal love sick look his irises were small like he was scared. Scared? I tipped the water bottle but my hand shook. Pour it out damn it you're not falling in love with this man. But I couldn't the look on Sal made me wanna cry. He looked so sad that I'd do it that I couldn't. I set the bottle down on the counter then ran a hand down my face.

I couldn't look at him so I looked at the window. But Roberts kitchen area is by the window and I caught his gaze, glare actually. He was glaring at me. Man this guy never gets angry and now he was just always mad at me. I groaned I was at a losse with this. "You ok" Todd asked me. "Sure peachy just have a crazy person trying to make me fall in love with them because they're convinced we're meant to be and no one believes me when I say they said it" I complained. "Wish there was something to call that" I mumbled as I turned away from the class so I couldn't see Robert or Sally. "There is it's called love sickness, strange I know but it's an actual disease" Todd started to tell me. "Really can you tell me about it a-and remember I'm stupid so if you give a lecture I'll zone out" I warned and His face seemed to drop as he thought that over. "Ok well Dr Dorthy proved that people who fall in love become involuntarily crazy. Lovesickness is marked by a mixture of intense romantic attraction and, according to Psychology Today. When feelings of love aren't returned, the lovesick individual sometimes plunges into despair. Fallow" he asked. I nodded. 

"Ok lovesickness isn't just about feelings of romance, sadness and longing. The condition contains elements of intrusive thoughts, obsession, impulsiveness and delusions" fuck he was like Wikipedia. "What about murder could it cause someone to murder" I asked. "That would fall under impulsiveness. A need or want to protect their object or isolate them so they have to depend on the lovesick individual. Its a mental illness making the individual feel both highs and lows much like substance abuse I wont go into the explanation of chemicals" he told and I smiled. He was an amazing teacher and had the best brain. "Wow your brain is amazing" I smiled at him. He blushed pretty dark and looked away. "O-Oh" it was so adorable, his freckles were highlighted and I chuckled at the sight. "A-ah s-stay on topic um w-where was uh....oh ah s-so s-symptoms yes um those are uh that is w-when someones l-lovesick they um express. Um idealization um viewing something as perfect. Uh I-Intrusive thoughts regarding the object of affection even if you don't wanna think about them hence uh intrusive, then um euphoria a heightened happiness, fantasy day dreaming, Um self- doubt anxiety, fear of not being um able to be with the person. Insomnia, anylizing uh arranging meetings stalking. Di-did I lose you" he asked and it took me a second to register the question. 

"Huh no uh just thinking" cause ya Sal's definitely stalked me and I'm sure he's done all those other things to. Ok so he did lose me for a second I spaced during his stammering. Fuck my brain for not paying attention to anything ever. "Um so uh th-this um I mean what should we make today" he was still blushing. Man I don't know. I grabbed a book then started flipping through. Ok so because of out discussion we didn't end up making anything cause we didn't have time. Which means no dinner for me today. That sucks but what sucks more right now is how Sal thinks he's being discrete. I'm walking to work and everytime I looked over my shoulder I see his shadow. Finally I stop and sigh in annoyance. I turn around to face him. "Ok come out I know you're there" he stepped out of a corner all fidgety and blushy. It be really cute if it wasn't cause he was fallowing me. "What are you doing" I asked but I already knew. "I-I wanted to make sure you got to work ok" he wasn't looking at me. He was shuffling his feet nervously. I sighed again "I'll be fine go home and get some sleep" I don't know why I said that. "Ah but you didn't make anything today, w-want me to make you dinner" he stepped towards me. Shit did he notice that. I blushed from embarrassment "No I'm fine now get lost" I turned to leave but I heard mumbling coming from him. The only thing I could pick up was Todd's name. I stopped and turned around. Did I hear that right did he say Todd's name. He had turned to walk away but something seemed off about his walk.

I was scared but I went to work instead of fallowing him. There's no way he said Todd I wouldn't of been able to hear him anyway if he did cause he was speaking so low. It was just my paranoia again. Half way through my shift though I got really dizzy and my stomach hurt. Ya I was super hungry and knowing I had no food at home was making it worse some how. I groaned as I stood at the cash. "You ok" Chug asked from beside me. "Ya just starving we don't have grocery's at home cause we've both been busy and like I keep forgetting to budget and check our bills to help pay so like I don't know if I got money for food" I rambled. "Oh geez no wonder you've been a bitch today you're like super stressed out man. Don't worry the week ends coming up" Chug told me. "Didn't we just have a day off" I asked him completely confused. "Oh ya I meant in like a few days" I groaned. There goes my hopes. 

But I was super stressed out, everything was stressing me out and it was all because of Sal. I sighed and pulled out my phone. Maybe I can buy something small from here and worry about the cost later. Or I could text Sal to make me something. No fuck don't do that bitches be crazy. I sighed again. Was it worth it though get a good meal for both me and mom and I just have to put up with his darling obsession for a couple hours. Was I really contemplating that. I was really hungry and I bet so was mom. Ah fuck my life. I clicked on his contact and called him. "OOo calling someone at work ballsy well I guess since the managers out" Chug teased. "Shhh this is important" the line picked up after one ring. Geez. "Honey bear what a lovely surprise" he cheered. His voice wasn't muffled so I guess he had the mask off. "Yaaaa um listen so I sorta um don't have stuff um do you mind maybe I don't know mmmmaking dinner" god I didn't want to ask it was more of a guilt thing then anything. I was actually asking him to make me something this late. And what break into my house and use my stove, what if mom got off early what would she say to that. 

"Oh-oh I'm so sorry my darling It's a little late for me to make something plus your mom gets off in half an hour, doctor Dave's showed up for his shift for once so she gets the night off. But she might be to tired to cook for you. Why don't I pick you up something from my favorite home-style joint I just have to take care of something real quick. Meet you at your place lots of kisses mwah" he hung up. How the fuck did he know my moms coworkers and their whereabouts. And what did he mean he had something to do. I never really thought of him having a life outside of me but I guess he does. "So was that your mom or your husband" Chug joked and laughed. I groaned as I laid on the counter. Fuck I wish I had known mom was getting of early today I wouldn't of called him then. 

I got off work and yep there the fucker was. Right outside the doors waiting for me with a bag. "Ooo date night" Chug teased. Man if I had no self control I'd throw him into traffic. I started walking not carrying for my speed. Clearly Sal could keep up with me. He quickly fallowed. "How was work darling" seriously. "It was fine usual customers and bagging stuff" just work man I zone out. "M-must meet some exciting people" he pressed. "No just crack addicts that use our washrooms to dope up and crazy's who are already tweeking" its true a lot of druggies and self righteous elders come in causing all kinds of trouble. And augh people with out of control kids. "Sounds interesting bet you got some stories" oh I got stories up the wazzo. I smiled "Ever see a kid get so mad they climb a shelf, dude couldn't of been more then five years old and I watched him climb up the shelf like some gremlin. He got up at the top and walked away from his mom then just sat down. So we watched from the sides to see if she'd notice and oh man it took her so long. She was reading the rice ingredients and a shoe fell on her. She was gonna start yelling till she saw her son on the top playing with his strap shoes. She screamed so loud and fuck it was funny" I laughed at the memory. He giggled as well. This sweet awkward giggle it was rather cute. 

A sound broke out between us, a very heavy guitar rift and I was startled for a second. Sal pulled out his phone which pfff had those stringed charms attached. There was one with Jason's mask, hello kitty as Mike Myers and a little bunny ass that said 'kiss my soft ass' on it. That made me smile it was so cute and hilarious. "Hello" he sounded kinda pissed as he spoke. "What now I thought you were working late" who was he talking to. "Don't get mad at me for making planes you're never home" he rolled his eye at what the other person was saying. "Right cause that's such a threat....wait don't do that ok I'm coming home" he sighed as he hung up. 

"I'm sorry my darling my dad wants me home tonight tell your mom I said hi ok" he handed me the bag then turned to leave. That was his dad, why did it surprise me that he had a dad or parents. It's not like all he is, is a knife wielding psycho. Oh sorry lovesick killer. I took the food with me and walked home. I got home to find the door was unlocked. I panicked as I opened the door getting ready to fight whoever was inside. I open the door to find my mom laying on the couch. She was curled up in a blanket watching tv. She looked up at me and smiled "I hate to be that person but food" she asked. I had to smile at her she was to funny sometimes. "Ya food, uh Sally picked it up for us but had to split cause his dad wanted him home" I took off my shoes and locked the door three times. 

"Oh bless his heart, I was to tired to cook tonight also ah I hate to admit it but we barely have anything" she sat up and covered herself in a blanket. "Cold" I asked her as we both made our way to the dinning table. "Ya its freezing in here, not that you'd feel it lava boy" she teased me. Ya I ran a lot hotter then most I found she use to make jokes about it being because I had such a big heart it kept me warmer. I set the bag down and took out the tin-foiled logs. Sharma wraps nice and a container of fries. We both dug in and sure it wasn't sweet like what he always makes but it tasted just the right kind of zangy and the fries were cooked to perfection. Ah I'm becoming a food crittic. But mom loved it to. We ate everything then curled up on the couch to watch tv together.

It was nice, I never get to spend time with her. On her days off I'm usually working till ten then get home pretty late and by that time shes asleep. Or on my days off she's working nights so she's asleep in the morning or on her way home and that s only if she's not doing overtime. Apparently we watch the same zombie drama show which was fun to find out. We talked a lot about the one British character who was such a riot. I don't remember going to bed I think I passed out on the couch beside her. When I woke up she was still passed out on the couch. Covered in her Madonna blanket. I got up and stretched, cracking my joints. I looked around the room to see the sun light lighting up the place. Must be morning. I didn't see any signs of Sally anywhere which was a relief. I picked up my phone and saw the time then proceeded to flip the fuck out. School had already started and there was no way I was getting away with staying home today. Plus I didn't want mom to think I only wanted to hangout with her to get something in return. 

I quickly threw on my uniform then left the apartment quickly. I didn't rush to school, they probably already called her and by the time I did get there regardless home room would be half over. So I walked, enjoying my morning all to myself. Hey ya I was all by myself, No Sally waking me up or fallowing me. I looked over my shoulder and there was no shadow in the distance. Either he got better at hiding or I was alone. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled brightly as I walked to school. It was a nice warm day but the hill was still killer. I always get breathless once I hit the top. I looked at my phone for the time. It was almost time for gym. Bluh whatever no point in going to home room. I walked into the school, we still didn't have new lockers since the indecent. The floors were still burnt and it smelt like ash-fault. I went up the stairs and made my way into the school. 

I went into the locker room to change, it always smelt like feet and bio in here no matter what. Guys are grows, smelly slobs. Yuck. I walked into the room to go change in my usual spot which is stupid it was empty in here. So I thought. I walked by a gap between the rows of lockers and stopped, a flash of blue caught my eye and I turned to look down the path. Sally stared back at me, mask-less and more importantly only in a pair of strawberry print panties. My face heated up as I stared at him and his face heated up. "A-ah" he grabbed his bag and tried to cover himself with it, but it wasn't as big as a gym bag or back pack. "W-wait I'm not ready for this" he shouted. "W-what are you talking about stop saying shit like that" I looked away and stepped back so I wasn't tempted to look at him. Yes ok I was tempted, he had the cutest pair of panties I've ever seen and alright a pretty cute boy. Fuck hormones. "I-I'm sorry I-I didn't know anyone else was in here" I shouted with a shaky voice. Fuck. "I-it's ok y-you surprised me I-I didn't know you were here today....B-but i-if you asked I-I might be ready for you" why was he so embarrassing. Did he just not think about what he was saying before he said it. "I'm so not having this conversation with you" I out right told him then dropped my bag to change. 

It was awkward knowing he was getting changes on the other side of the same set of lockers. I tried not to think about it. I grabbed my bag to shove my stuff in my gym locker. I had to pass the path though. I took in a deep breath and walked by. He was still standing there, putting his prosthetic on. He looked at me then quickly looked away. Fuck me. I took the chance to look him over in the girls gym uniform. It was pretty form fitting compared to the male uniform. Our shirts were long and bulky even for the skinny tall guys, me. Our shorts went down to our knees. But the girls out fit was small, it barely covered their stomachs especially when they stretch and the red shorts were well short. Basically a pair of form fitting boxers. It was kinda sexist actually. 

"Ah so s-someone told me you were um making a statement by wearing the girls uniform" I started to say feeling my throat dry for some reason. "Um yes and no, I-I wanted to wear um the female uniform for the skirt and the principle said no. When I told Ash she said we should be able to wear what we want. So we swapped uniforms um that's why hers looks kinda small" he fiddled with his bag. "Why" I asked not sure why anyone would want to wear skirts all the time. Aren't they kind of reviling and like if a gust of wind blows by you're like done for. "W-well I-I like um wearing skirts and dresses, th-they're um breezy and cute" I thought about that for a second. He did have really adorable looking dresses outside of the school uniform. That pink one with the bows and the blue one with the big buttons. "I can see that" I told him then continued walking to my gym locker. He walked by and kinda avoided my eye, he was embarrassed and honestly so was I. Sure I've seen a bunch of dudes get undressed before and have undressed in front of a lot of dudes but it was different with Sally. It was...augh erotic. Fucking brain. 

I met him outside on the field where the teacher was smoking, actually smoking a fag on the damn grass. The shit. Sal stood by me rubbing his hands together, god why was he so cute. Robert hobbled over not to long after I left the change room. "Ay its the wife" he greeted. "Where you been" he asked and grabbed my hand. "Putting on my face for my hubby" I joked. "Is that your hubby" he pointed to Sal. Fuck off. "I-I don't know you still seeing food" I tried to joke. "Man let it go" he rolled his eyes but laughed at me. "But seriously where were you" He qent to nudge me. "Seriously I over slept, me mom spent the night watching Izombie and just gushing about the show then passed on on the sofa." I told him. "That's fucking adorable, I'm glad you got to spend some time with her" he patted my back. Fuck I was gonna get emotional if we stayed on this topic. I already felt the tears starting up. "Hey night of the dead playing this weekend date night me you Ash and Sal and the pinning twins" I laughed at that. Those two idiots have been pinning for so long. "Fuck ya man" I wasn't thinking. He pointed at Sal again and smiled wide. "There you go little buddy got you a date" my smile dropped and I looked at Sal. 

The guy looked away all shy like. "Th-thank you" he mumbled and ya it be adorable if I wasn't remembering the murder he committed. The teacher blew his whistle and I guess the rest of the class had shown up. We all ran as a warm up except Robert who just watched. We played out door dodge ball which wasn't as fun as actual dodge ball, we had to running all over to grab the balls instead of them staying in a confined space. As we played I really wish I had Sally on my team cause he grabbed a ball in the air then threw it back. The force sent one of the guys down to the ground. Geez was he always that strong, why did I think he was weak was it because of his size. He wiped the grass with my team, taking out every member and causing the girls to cheer. "Whow one left Sally" they cheered. Shit was he gonna hit me. He reeled up and went to throw. Oh fuck. I cringed instead of running and the ball barely tapped me. God damn it he under hand threw it now I looked like a wuss. 

Ah I hate gym I always get so tired and hungry after words. Also yuck I need a shower bad, I hope no one can smell me. Cause I smell me even with deodorant on. I walked out of the school and a few girls held their nose as I walked by. Shit. Instead of going to the regular spot we all sat at I went behind the school where our lacrosse field was also the gym field. No one sits over there cause there's no shade and the sun is blinding. I laid down in the grass and raised my arms. Its stupid and gross but sometimes it helps. I rolled around hopping the grass would mask the me smell. 

I rolled back and forth until I rolled onto someone or rather their feet stopped me from moving. Stupid. I looked up and saw strawberry's. I quickly looked away. Fuck why did I keep doing that. I'm not a pervert but that's twice now I've accidentally looked up his skirt. I also got a whiff of myself and had to lower my arms. Gross. "Wh-why are you f-flopping like a fish" I heard Ash laughing then I heard the others. Of course. This is embarrassing. "Come on guppy lets-lets go eat" Robert chuckled out. I rolled onto my side and got up. Hopefully that helped a little. "Uh-d-darling are you alright" Sal asked. Id ask if he was embarrassed by me looking at him, again. Ok wait its three times cause I caught him changing today. Augh what was wrong with me. We both walked towards our friends as they walked away. I ignored him, I know I shouldn't but I didn't want to talk about it. 

I Sat behind him and away from the group, I didn't want them to smell me. Sal passed a container over to me and a drink. A fucking cardboard juice box. I opened the container and there was quesadillas in there. Home made with lots of peppers and onions. If anything would mask the smell it be this. Ok I need to ask him to stop cooking for me. Even if they're the best meals I've had in a long time. Sorry madre but it's true. Ok tonight I'll text him to stop. J-just one more meal. The group was talking about this movie they all wanted to go see Thursday night. Not really the weekend but we settled. Once lunch was over we all went to home ec. Man I wonder what Todd would have picked out this time, I kinda wanna try something new. Maybe deviled eggs, hmm eggs sounded really good. Maybe I should ask if Sal can make some. No stop you're falling into a delusion, he's a love sick murderer that fallows you around and breaks into your home. 

I walked into the room but Todd wasn't at our station. I looked around but he wasn't anywhere an he was a hard dude to miss what with the orange hair. "Wheres Todd" I asked as I walked to my kitchen. "He wasn't in home room" Sal said as he walked by. My heart stopped for a second as I looked at him. D-did he do something to Todd, was that the business he had to do yesterday. Killing Todd, why because he was my kitchen partner. Oh shit was this the start of the isolation Todd was talking about. "Johnson why don't you join Silva's group today" the teacher called out. "Aw ya bros in the kitchen" Robert held up his hand for me to high five. But I was to worried to hit him up. "Dude you ok you're pale" he lowered his hand. I can't tell him he's already pissed at me for say Sal's a murderer. If I told him I think he did something to my kitchen mate. He'd seriously lose it. I fallowed Robert to his station. Todd had to be ok right, right maybe he was just sick or taking a mental health day or something. Dude did over work himself and it wouldn't be the first time he missed school to catch up on sleep. Being a smart student must be hard. Ya that's it b-besides Sally looks super clean today. Super clean, to clean.


	9. dark date

It's been a couple days and Todd hasn't shown up. No one has his number and the teachers don't seem worried. I've been checking the news like crazy to see if anything pops up. Nothing all I can do is wait for something to turn up. But what if nothing turns up and Todd's been killed. What if Sal killed him. 

The gang all wants to go to the movies for the showing of this zombie movie. How am I suppose to be ok with that when they invite a murderer. We all walk to the theater after school and Sal tried to grab my hand. I wasn't letting him, he has blood stained hands. Sure the mugger was ya a bad dude that hurt me but Todd. What did he do. And Ash, I know now he pushed her. He tried to kill her because she got close to me. He was gonna eliminate everyone close to me just so he was the only one in my life and I wasn't gonna let him. I was gonna prove his guilt for Todd's sake. "Who's excited I'm excited haven't been to the movies for awhile" Robert gushed. "Slow down killer" Ash laughed. It wasn't funny with an actual killer right beside me. "I-I hope you don't get scared i-if you do you can um hold my hand" Maple blushed as she spoke to Chug. "O-oh thanks ya I might get um scared" he tapped her hand and they slowly held on to eachother. No one said anything about it not being in the actual theater. 

Sal tried to grab my hand again, as inviting as the cold touch was I pulled away. I pocketed my hands. No way I was gonna let him touch me with his dainty fingers. I know Roberts glaring but it doesn't matter. Whenever things start getting good with Sal he reminds me of the crazy underneath. We grabbed our tickets and went inside. The gang all grabbed snacks but I wasn't hungry. Ok that was a lie I'm always hungry anymore and I blame Sal for giving me an appetite. I know that's fucked up blaming my empty stomach on someone who regularly fills it. But I usually ignore it till it goes away. "On wards and out words" Robert hobbled to the theater room. I fallowed them and Sal traviled kinda far behind. 

No I'm not gonna feel guilty about it he's hurt people, a lot of people. It's hard for me to be this mean but he needs to know that he's not gonna get rewarded for being crazy. God that sounds like I'm scolding a kid. We sat down all in the same row and of course they set it up so Sal would sit beside me. I'll keep to myself. Even If Robert kicks me for being an ass he doesn't know the story. He doesn't believe. At least Sal's taking the hint, he's keeping to himself in his seat instead of using the closeness to grab my arm which would be easy for him. The movie started and Robert stopped kicking me as he got absorbed in it. It was kind of a shitty old movie but they used a lot of clay for their effects which looked sick. Face's falling, bones cracking, heads splitting open and zombies eating everything. Gross I love it. Robert laughed at some parts but Sal stayed quiet. 

Ok I shouldn't but I glanced over for a second. My heart dropped as I looked at him. He was gripping his pigtails so hard as he shook violently, I couldn't see his eyes. Did he have them closed "S-Sally you ok" I asked before I remembered I wasn't talking to him. He opened his eyes and his Irises looked shaky. He tried to look at me but a munching noise came from the movie and he quickly closed his eyes. Was he scared of the movie. Was he having a panic attack. "E-excuse me" he whispered. He got up and held himself as he walked away. I got up before I thought better of it. Once I was up, I was up so I fallowed him out of the room. He was gripping his arms so hard I swore he'd make himself bruise. He shook so bad as he slowly turned to look at my shoes. "Hey you ok a-are you scared" I asked. "J-Just so g-graphic th-the rotting corpse r-running around, Th-the noise of the eating I-It's sick" he grabbed onto his pig tails again. Was he serious zombies eating people is what scares him.

"I-It's so loud" he held his head and shut his eyes like he was in pain. "M-my face f-feels like it's cracking, It-its cracking" he sobbed. He was becoming hysterical all from a shitty zombie movie. I stepped towards him, If he snapped and lost himself now it be bad. There's no telling what he'd do, someone else might die. "I-it's cracking" he repeated. "No Sal it's ok you're not cracking" I tried to tell him but I don't think he could hear me. I had to stop this some how, stabilize him. I reached out to him and did my best to bring my hands under his Prosthetic and cup his cheeks. It hurt cause the thing dug into my arms, guess it was really tight on him. He looked up at me with those wide eyes, they seemed bigger with his irises being so small, er iris. "I-I'll hold your face together, you're not gonna fall apart not while I'm holding you" I didn't have time to think I just had to stop him before he lost it. I watched his iris enlarge again, filling his eye. I felt fresh tears running down his face. He was shaking like crazy, bringing his hands to the back of his head and unclasping the bottom strap. He then pushed the prosthetic up to rest on top of his head. 

That felt so much better now it wasn't cutting into me. He took his shaking hands and placed them over mine, the cold sending goosebumps over my skin. He held my hands in place and cried in my hold. I felt bad, what if I hadn't looked over at him would he still be sitting in there silently having a panic attack while the rest of us laughed at the shitty movie. The thought pained my heart. Ok I know hes crazy but he doesn't deserve to be put in a situation like that. I never meant to make him cry. My back was hurting from how far I had to lean just to cup his face like this. So I went to crouch down so I could straighten my back and still hold his face. He opened his eyes as I moved down and gasped. "O-oh I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you touch me" he let go of my hands and I pulled away. I stood up and rubbed my wrists, still hurt from his Prosthetic. He grabbed his mask and pulled it down, it made me wonder something.

"Hey if you're so scared of zombies why did you agree to come" he looked at my shoes as he fidgeted. "W-well I didn't know it was a zombie movie at first and when I found out y-you already agreed to go. We've been distant lately and I just wanted to spend time with you. I-I'm sorry I ruined you're movie" he sniffled. "I don't care about the movie" it just slipped out, my mind to mouth filter just drops sometimes. He looked up at me, his one eye was glistening from tears and I wondered about his prosthetic eye. I felt tears running down his face on that side but didn't see any forming like the other. I sighed and walked over to the plush bench near by and sat down. This was such an emotional roller coaster I was starting to get tired. Sal sat down beside me kinda close, but I was to at a lose to distance us. He slowly edged his hand over mine and I let him touch me. He always gets what he wants in the end and what he wanted was to hold my hand. But can I really be mad about it, all he wanted was to be with me. To hold me and love me, was that so bad. Yes when he hurts people and kills them. Even if he does it to protect me its not right. But he doesn't do it to protect me. 

"Hey" I started "why did you try to crush Robert" he didn't do anything wrong. "He punched you" seriously. "Sure but that was to get my attention cause I was staring at you" I felt his hand grip on to mine as he blushed. Not like that crazy. "It was still over kill" I tild him, like hed understand. "He's mean to you even now he glares at you and loses his temper on you" his voice sounded venomous. "You don't know whats going on, he's mad cause I'm mad at you" I felt him shake and before he answered I got up. 

"D-darling" he stood up to fallow me. "Don't make me a lunch tomorrow" I couldn't eat his food no matter how much I wanted to. I left the theater and thank god he didn't fallow me. I know he probably cried but I can't think about that. He tried to kill Robert because the guy punched me. Well then why save his ass from the fire, even if he saw Sal there the guy could of roast him easy. Why save him why try and kill him then save him a few days later. It didn't make sense but then again Sal didn't make sense. Instead of trying to rationalize it maybe I should just forget it. My head hurts.

****

I barely saw him at school that is he didn't cling to my side like glue. He ran passed me during gym warm ups but didn't look at me. He was more silent then usual as we played another game of soccer, almost hitting me everytime he kicked the ball. Like he was torn between hurting me the way I hurt him and keeping me safe. He did as I asked and didn't make me a lunch. He held his bag tight and ignored the group when they asked if he was ok. Of course Robert blames me for the sour behavior and yes ok its my fault but he never should of hurt the people around me. How was I suppose to forgive that. Home ec only furthered my rage. Todd still wasn't in class, with each passing day I was getting more and more worried. 

Even though Sal wasn't glued to my hip he was still around. I saw his shadow as I walked to work. So I knew he was fallowing me. I was starting to think he did that on purpose so I knew he was always around. At least he wasn't around after work or if he was I didn't notice. I got home without incident and just crashed. I was starving and there was no left overs from home ec so no dinner for me. I took out my phone and wondered but no I wasn't gonna text him, despite him spamming me. All fucking day none stop texts.

I passed out probably from hunger and exhaustion. I got up the next morning to the smell of eggs, delicious eggs and bacon. It was a good awaking until I actually woke up. Did he break in again and was cooking me break feast. Man he just doesn't quit. I jumped out of bed and rushed out the door. But standing in the kitchen was my mom, cooking eggs. I sighed in relief. "Morning tiger relax I didn't set the food on fire, this time" she laughed. But now that the danger was gone I felt so tired. Ah I'm always tired. 

I walked to the dining table and sat down. "So I get the day off today gonna finally get around to cleaning, though this place already looks pretty clean. You do such a good job I'm proud" It's not me I'm pretty sure Sal cleaned the apartment the last time he was here. I just groaned as a response. "Working today" she asked as she set the food onto plates. "Ya cansado though" sometimes when I'm to tired I slip into spanish, like english is a higher brain function I just don't have sometimes. "I hear that I'm tired all the time to. but gotta be productive plus gotta do the laundry its getting kinda high" we both chuckle at that. We hate doing laundry cause we're both forgetful. I love her. She set my plate down and I chowed down. Is it possible to feel guilty for wanting someone elses food even though what your eating is so good. Maybe I'm still tired. 

Breakfast was good but I had to get dressed for work. I hate the uniforms can't show off my sanity's fall shirt or just wear basic jeans. At least I always got to wear my brown shoes. I left for work as mom got our laundry ready. I felt bad but I couldn't miss a day just to help her clean or spend time with her. It was to late to get someone to cover my shift and we need the money. 

It was on my mind though the whole shift that I didn't see shadows moving when I looked over my shoulder. I'd say he's learned to leave me alone but he's spamming my phone still. Why don't I just block him. I don't know maybe I don't want my friends rioting because I made him cry. People are crazy in this town. That's what I've come to realize cause all these customers have been giving me a hard time. Acting like they know more then me like I didn't see you in training and if you know so much why are you asking. Whatever they can all go piss off. I walked home rather slow, hoping to work off some of this anger. I've had a shorter fuse then usual lately. 

I got home just happy to crash and watch whatever with my mom. But this is my life we're talking about. I walked in and immediately froze in the door way. Sally sat at the table with my mom sharing a pot of tea. "Ah Lar-bear you're home a little late" my mom smiled at me. "Darling welcome home" why. "Awe isn't that cute he calls you darling tch makes me yearn for the good old days. So hey when were you gonna tell me you were already dating Sal. Wanted to see your mom gap like a fish huh" she laughed at her joke. I wasn't laughing. I closed the door and stared Sal down. If he hurt one hair on my moms head I'll lose my sanity. 

"Is that what he told you" I said bitterly. "Hate to break it to you but sharing kisses and going on dates is dating even if they're group dates. Oh Sally that roast you made the other night was so good care to share the recipe" she acted like they were old friends. "Oh it's nothing special just soaked and seasoned with some store bought sauce, didn't have time to make my own unfortunately" ya that you broken in and made. "S-Sally what are you doing here" I tried not to sound pissed. "Oh he was in the neighbor hood so I invited him up, He's quite the character did you know he skipped a grad, actually a year younger then you ah but age doesn't matter as long as you got the mental compatibility" no ones compatible with his mentality. 

"Ah wow that actually sounds kind of bad sorry mind to mouth filter just stops sometimes but I'm sure you're getting use to that with Larry here. He also doesn't think before he speaks" yo whats with the drive by. "Hey uncalled for" she just giggled and so did Sal. Seriously. "Here hun come have a seat relax" mom pulled out a chair set in between them. How am I suppose to relax with a murderer in the apartment. "I was just telling Sally about my book club" book what. "You have a book club" I asked her. "Well not any more, working moms and all plus it sorta morphed into a who's husband is better so ahem but the last book I read was this saucy one about vampires they were all the rage a couple years ago" I cringed at the memory. 

Mom was a twihard when the movies were coming out. It was god awful. I have war flash backs about it. "Oh I never got into vampires personally I prefer true crime or life development so things like herbology, echo systems around the globe, physiology and brain development" I'm sorry did he just say physiology. Like learning about the brain and mental illnesses. "Oh that's a lot, like to read do you" mom asked as she chuckled. "It helps pass the time and you learn a lot of interesting things" Ya I bet like just how crazy you are. "Hmm that's nice wish I could get this one to be that devoted to learning" again with the drive by. "Mom" quite throwing me under the bus. "Oh but I love you" she pinched my cheek and now I was blushing. It was so embarrassing when she did that I'm to old for that crap. "I-I can tutoring you if you need I-I have em pretty smart to and we can take as many breaks as you need" why was he pushing for that. Oh ya to spend more time with me. "That be amazing you can come by on his days off and help him study" wait what. Was this really happening. Was my mom setting up tutoring dates for me. 

"I'd love to I'll bring study snacks" my stomach growled at the thought of his food. How embarrassing. I covered my face as my mom laughed. "Welp his stomachs sold hahaha ah I should get started on dinner anyway, wanna help me Sally" Sal got out of the seat so fast. Was it really that important he make me food. I got up from the table and headed for the washroom. I can't belive how normal he's acting and how much my mom loves him. This is what I mean about the roller coaster. He has moments like this where he's sweet and adorable. Caring and well normal but I'm always reminded of the shit he's done to get here and thats just the stuff I know about. What other skeletons do you have in your closet. They both set everything up and placed the plates down. 

"It's a potato casserole his moms recipe, it was super weird to make but it smells so good and I made the salad so nothings burnt unless I burnt the salad" Sal actually laughed, deep and echoy. It was the loudest I've ever heard him get and it scared me enough to drop my fork. "Oh hunny are you ok" my mom got up. "Y-ya um ya should be fine" I picked up the fork and went to eat. But Sal threw up his hands then quickly held them to his chin. "Y-you're not really going to eat with that um it was on the floor" his voice was back to its low soft pitch. Andy black thats who he reminds me of. God that was bugging me, not ollie why did I think ollie. 

"Um ya so" I asked. "Uh well j-just the germs you know ah we've been walking around with sweaty socks on and kicking dust and dirt everywhere" oh my god he's a germaphobe that's why he looks so clean all the time. Both me and mom chuckle at him. "Here trade me" my mom asked and we traded forks, both to lazy to get up and grab another one. Sal looked baffled for a second, it really was funny. We ate the dinner and I could tell it made him uncomfortable that my mom was using a dirty fork. But it was so funny, can't believe someone is that germaphobice especially someone who was covered in blood. 

Ya it stopped being funny after that thought crossed my mind. We set our dishes in the sink and I noticed the casserole dish was sitting in soap water. Ok we're not slobs my any means but we have certain cleaning days and setting things in soap water was not one of those. As I placed my glass down Sal rinsed our plates. Uh now I did feel like a slob. "Pepitas dulces" my mom whispered. Sweet nuggets indeed, something tells me Sal comes from a strict home. Once they were rinsed he looked at us and jolted at our stares. "A-ah sorry h-habit" we both snickered at that. 

"Who's up for a game of life" I hate life it makes me feel things. "I've never played" that cemented it. Mom set everything up and we placed our characters down. But I wasn't paying attention to the game. I was watching the news looking for anything on Todd. "Your turn" mom told me and I spun the wheel and advanced. I lost my job, great next I'd get a divorcee and live in my car alone. Still didn't have a house. Mom on the other hand had a stay at home job and a house and the two baby's she was promised with a man that stayed. Sal was living his best dream, a teacher with a husband and three baby's with a fourth on the way. He had so much money set aside for retirement. 

I was jealous but I knew in his eyes I was his house husband staying at home with the four kids in a mansion. It was just a game there was no need to get so angry. I heard the tv say Todd's name and quickly looked over. But it wasn't I miss heard, man I really wanted him to be ok. "Don't mind him he's been all for the news lately its always on anymore. Which does nothing to help your paranoia" she teased. "I'm looking for something" shit. I slowly looked over at Sal. That cute gleam in his eye was gone as he looked back at me, w-warningly I think. "Looking for what" mom asked and I couldn't answer. "Just....crime" I turned back to the game, ignoring the stare Sally was giving me. Of course he won our game then pulled out another game and we played that. I forgot that Sal was super competitive. He got really into our second game and mom laughed at his antics. But I was scared he'd snap and someone would get hurt, manly my mom. 

"Ah that was fun, oh wow it's already so dark out. Sally I don't think you should go home tonight lots of weirdo's out" bless her soul but no please. "If that's alright" he sounded so innocent. "Of course you can take a shower and Larry will give you some old clothes to wear." He looked at me and his pupils morphed into hearts. Even his prosthetic eye, it was strange and stupid adorable. "I'll take the couch" I told plainly. "You both can share your bed just remember to use a condom and lots of lube" she teased. But it wasnt funny. "MOM" I shouted out of pure embarrassment. She laughed at me while Sally held the cheeks of his prosthetic. "I-I don't know if I'm ready" why does he keep saying that. "M-Maybe if you asked" that's it. 

"Not happening get in the shower I'll finish up the dishes then get you some spare clothes" I yelled. I got up and walked to the kitchen. "That's uncalled for there's no need for shouting, he's just embarrassed don't take it personally" mom spoke out. She walked into the washroom with Sal behind her. I swear if he hurts her. I scrubbed the casserole dish and finished washing up the dishes then dried them. By that time Sal was alone in the bathroom. I went to my room and grabbed an old three days grace shirt and some sweat pants. 

I walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "I got your clothes" I opened the door without thinking, dumb ass. Its just habit we do it to eachother all the time. I stepped in and realized what I did. He was leaned over a little to feel the waters temperature, naked. His bare ass right in front of me and my brain short circuited. The image burned in my mind forever. He looked over his shoulder so fast, his bare gaze meeting mine. A blush spread over his scars and it was both adorable and erotic and I needed to get the fuck out of there. 

"CLOTHES" I shouted and threw the clothes who knows where. I grabbed the door knob and slammed it in my own face. I really needed to stop walking in on him but this time it was 100% my fault. "Why are you yelling" mom spoke as she came out of her room. "Nothing" I said as I held the door knob and leaned on the door. "You know no ones gonna attack your boyfriend you don't have to protect him" she chuckled. "If i don't then who would" no filter fuck. I heard something fall in the bathroom fallowed by Sal cussing. Yep he heard that shit. 

"You're so cute and here I was worried you were not so nice to him" she sat down on the couch. "Why what did he tell you" I stood up and walked away from the door so he couldn't hear me anymore. "Would you relax there's nothing to tell It's just you barely look at him and you didn't seem happy he was here plus the yelling. It made me worried I-I don't wanna raise an abuser" I could tell she had a hard time saying that. Both wanting to voice her concern but not to hurt my feelings. 

I Sat down beside her "Oh mama I'm sorry you have to see that I'm angry and stressed. There's some stuff going on that made me feel kinda insane for awhile and Sal's not giving me space to really figure shit out. Also he did some stuff I can't forgive and he acts like he did nothing wrong, I'm trying to show him if he keeps acting like that then..." then what. Was I gonna stay with him, we're already broken up but he's so convinced if he stays by my side I'll just fall in love with him like its that easy. Like I could just forget all the shit he did. "I don't think he knows why you're mad or what he did wrong, maybe he needs you to tell him. He's emotionally crippled and doesn't know what you know he hasn't had the same learning experiences, hes been sheltered." Ya that's what he said he'd spent most of his child hood in the hospital. He did say once he doesn't know how to behave maybe he does just need to be shown whats right and wrong. Ok even if he did spend most of his time locked away he should know murder is not ok that's basic, hurting others is not ok. 

"How do you know he was sheltered" the thought just hit me, did he tell her. She took in a deep breath "I remember him. Took me awhile cause when I met him he had short hair and a pink prosthetic. He was realeasef about three years ago. It's a tragic thing I bet everything is new to him also bet that's why he's so smart cause all he did was read and do online classes." She laughed trying to lighten the mood. Three years ago that wasn't much time. He's only been walking the streets for three years, having to relearn how society works. There must have been a lot of gaps in his learning curve. 

"Ok lets put on a show ya a little stiff in here" mom got up to change the station. We have a problem with heavy in this family, we don't like to dwell on the bad stuff. She put on a British comedian for a little while. Sal came out of the washroom in my clothes, he swam in them they were so big on him. He was cute, pulling at the hem of my shirt and avoiding our gaze. I blushed at the sight of him. "Oh Sally you can put your clothes in Larry's room then come watch this guy with us" my mom chuckled. He did as he was told then walked over to the couch and sat down beside me. Of course he did it was the only seat available. He tucked his legs under him and sat back on the couch. 

I couldn't help re noticing that pink patch on his mask, mom said his previous one was pink. Looking at it now it looked like the piece was placed on the white mask instead of it dyed. What happened to his original mask. I traced it with my eyes and caught a splash of blue in my vision. I looked at his eyes and shit he was looking at me. I looked at the tv even though I didn't know what the guy was saying. Sal tentatively wrapped his hands over my arm and alright I'll let this happen. His hands were warm but it was a fleeting warmth, I could feel them cooling down as his body was unable to keep the temperature. 

I thought about it as I laid on the couch while the house slept. Thought about all of it, what did being locked away for so long do to a person. Is that why he's crazy cause he saw other people being crazy and he thought it be ok. No he had to know it was wrong, he hid a body and discreetly cause two people to get injured. Knew how to set a fire without getting caught. He had to know what he was doing. Had to know it was wrong and thats why he was covering his tracks other wise he'd leave a bloody trail behind. There was no body, no witnesses, no concrete evidence. I closed my eyes and sighed, I'm so tired but my mind wont shut up. I felt something heavy and opened my eyes. Meeting dark turquoise I was gonna scream. But he placed his hand over my mouth. Oh god this was it the moment he kills me. He smiled with that Cheshire cat mouth of his. So alluring, fuck no. "Shh hush my love don't wanna wake your mother, I have to say I rather like her shes so sweet and carrying. You're so lucky and here I thought I'd have an issue." He got closer to me. Just what kind of issue was he thinking. "I'm glad she agrees that we're perfect together, when you fall for me she'll accept isn't that wonderful" so that's why he was here.

I opened my mouth and went to bite his hand. He quickly pulled away and pouted "ow some warning first my darling." Bastared. "Don't threaten my mother ever" I was ready to throw him. "Of course not shes amazing and you deserve such a good woman, if only she knew how much you care. Getting a job for her, taking care of her credit cards when she's not looking. Such a good boy you are so sweet and kind, you deserve everything" he was going off again. He leaned down as I went to throw him off and our lips met. Those oddly soft lips, curling around mine. My arm rested on his back instead of throwing him over. Then the sweet flavor touched my tongue and I settled back. God what was that taste why was it so good. My body acted on impulse. Holding his back and grabbing his head to move him a little to deepen the kiss. 

I touched him with my tongue, wanting to taste more of him. He opened his mouth and I went for it. Letting my tongue inside, there was no fight from him. He let me roam around inside as much as I wanted. But I needed to breath and so did he. I removed my tongue and moved away to take in a deep breath. He laid on me, his smile turning from love sick to embarrassed. "O-Oh hello there" he mumbled. "Ah Hi" I said confused. Why was he saying hello all of a sudden. "U-uh I was t-talking to your um little friend" my little friend? Oh OH. 

I was hard, like really hard. From kissing? or was it cause I know what he looks like under my clothes. Ah fuck that was making it worse. Go away go away. Either you or Sal someone needs to go away. He bite his lip and I felt his hand travel down my body. No.No.No.No.No.Oh. Now I had to bite my lip. His hand was so cold and it felt so nice as he pressed his palm over my boxers. This couldn't happen, I can't have sex with someone I don't love. 

"Sally please stop" I whispered. "Is something wrong my darling" yes you shouldn't have sex with someone who doesn't love you and is actively trying to get you arrested. The lights were turned on and he jumped right off me. "Whats going on in here, this is what you have a bedroom for" my mom spoke out. Of course at least hes off me now and my boners going away. "Haven't I told you about save sex, wheres the lube, the condoms this isn't a brothel I will not allow for Sti's in my home" oh man she was gonna go off. 

Sal sat down on the coffee table as he covered his face in the shirt. "How would you get an StI" fuck off. My mom gave an hour long lecture on sti,stds, safe sex. I'm so tired I just want to go to sleep.


	10. oh my god

I didn't sleep. Not saturday night, not sunday, so no I'm tired. No? know I'm tired. Fuck. I waled to school. Walked. I walked, went over the fucking hill and saw smiley Robert standing around. I walked up and his smile fell, what now what are you gonna yell about now. "Dude you look like the living dead are still not sleeping" I threw myself on him. "No Sal came by my place and My mom gave a lecture on sti's" I whispered. "Awe dude thats funny" he wrapped his arms around me to hug me. "I'm an ass Rob like a real asshole, the worst asshole. I know he's done bad shit and it scares me, I'm scared. Sometimes he looks at me and it feel like he's plotting my death. But all he really wants to do is love me and hold my hand and I cry thinking about it" I don't know what I was talking about. Everything just didn't seem real. Like was I really dating a killer. "Shh it's ok man I got you, man you're really stressed aren't you" I just started crying. Full on crying where everyone can see. I couldn't help it I am stressed and tired. So tired. "There, there uh so Sally's running up should I like-" I let him go and bolted. 

I don't remember much of gym class, kinda to tired to focus. We played capture the flag and the second my flag was gone I gave up. I just walked the track trying to keep my blood pumping but not over do it. Man this is how I got sick last time. The class seemed louder then usual but maybe I was just sensitive to noise. Heard Robert shout 'get em' he's such a cheerleader. 

Lunch rolled around and I laid on the grass. But this stupid fucking sun was in my eyes, making them water. So I rolled over and yep of course. Sally was right beside me and now I was staring at his navy blue skirt and creme legs. "You alright Larry" Ash asked me and I sighed. "Think he's over whelmed, he was crying this smorning" Robert blabbed. Man come on. "Hey don't tell people" but it was to late he already did. "Why are you crying", "Whats wrong" man I hate those questions especially now. How am I suppose to tell people that don't believe me that the man beside me has murdered for me and hurt people for getting in his way. Attempted to take Ash's life and made Todd go missing. How he breaks into my house and does god knows what while I'm asleep. How I'm so scared of him and what he'll do cause he's so unstable. The longest roller coaster I've been on. I closed my eyes and all I could smell was this sweet scent. It was soft and not over powering. Mixing with the smell of laundry detergint. 

I wasn't thinking I just kinda wanted the smell close. I drapped my arm over Sal's legs and pulled him closer. I guess it was him I was smelling. "Larry what are you doing" I kicked out at who ever was talking cause shut up. He was blocking out the nasty sun. I want the sun gone and for it just to be dark. Can't sleep when the skys awake. I felt a cold hand start to run through my hair. I don't like my hair being touched like ever but the cool sensation was nice. Nice enough to put me to sleep. I fell into a field of strawberry's but they didn't smell like strawberry's. They smelt kinda like pastries but even that didn't seem right. I walked around trying to find what it was but all I saw was strawberry's. I wasn't being chased or hunted which was nice. It was the nicest dream I've had in a long time but I had to wake up sometime.

I know he didn't want to wake me up but he also knows home ecs my favorite. He took his hand off me and I woke up almost instantly. Groaning at the bright sun. Fuck the sun. I dragged my tired ass to the class while Robert hobbled beside me and Sally walked behind me. Seriously whats with the walking behind. I opened the door and let Robert in despite him not liking be helped. I'm to tired to care, let me help you damn it. I walked into the room and holy shit Todd was standing in our kitchen. I went to run to him but Sally walked in front of me. He was just walking by to go to his own kitchen but there was something do deliberate about it. I watched him walk away for a second then went into my kitchen. "H-Hey man where you been" I tried not to sound like I was worried out of my mind. The guy held a book pretty high almost covering his face. 

"I-I um well I had an accident" he lowered the book and I gasped. He had a slash running down the right side of his face. From his brow all the way to the middle of his cheek. "I-I know it looks bad but i-it wasn't deep. Uh j-just had t-to heal and get new prescription b-but I'm fine" he stammered. I wanted to hug him but something told me Sal was watching. If he did that just cause I made the guy blush what would he do if I hugged him. I had to hold on to the counter to stop my self from holding Todd close. I don't want him getting hurt again. "W-What happened" I asked. "Hmm O-oh I.... I was- was walking passed the old music place and.... I-I was punched and my glasses fell off. I-I got slashed and I couldn't see who it was just mixes of blue and black. B-But I'm ok I got found very quick um th-this guy from the store c-came out H-His name is Neil. H-he brought me to the hospital a-and took care of the wound in the ER. H-he was really sweet ah b-but I'm ok j-just some stitches that p-popped out yesterday and new glasses c-cause I lost some s-sight in my eye."

Damn him. Todd was a sweet man and did nothing wrong. He couldn't hurt a fly. I was shaking I can't tell if its from anger or what but I can't believe Sally would do something like this. And to a suppose friend. I looked away from Todd and glared at Sal. The man seemed to jolt at my stare. Good be afraid know that what you did was wrong and I won't hold your hand or kiss you until you learn. I took in a deep breath then turned back to Todd. "S-Sorry man" I started. "O-oh no it's ok well it's not ok but at least I'm not dead right oh god that was a horrible joke I-oh hang on" the man took out his phone and I was startled. He never takes out his phone in class. He's a good boy that fallows the rules. He smiled then looked confused. "Thats unlike you" I commented cause it was so strange for him to break a rule. Even if it's a stupid rule everyone breaks. "Y-ya I know I-I thought it was a text from um Neil" he smiled at the mans name. What a dork, it was so obvious he liked the guy. 

" 'It's ok I'm fine thank you' sorry I won't answer it again" he spoke as he texted what a dork. "Ok what do you want, anything I'll make it" I offered. "Um just...uh sorry hang on Sally's spamming me" he stepped out of our kitchen and I wanted to grab him, keep him safe. But he moved before I could stop him. I was paralyzed with fear as I watched him walk across the room. Sally walked out of his kitchen to meet Todd. The red head was smiling as he started talking to the killer then he blushed. I couldn't read Sal's reaction because of the mask. What were they talking about, why was Sal spamming him. What was slashing his face not good enough. Todd moved close and hugged Sal and that's when he turned that cool blue gaze on me. He watched me as he placed a hand on Todd's back to hug him. The man pulled away all blushy and scratching his head as he talked to Sal. 

He waved then started walking back over. But I was still staring at the killer. Todd walked back into our kitchen "what was that about" I asked as I stared the man down. "Oh h-he weirdly enough said he was sorry which I didn't understand a-and I t-told him what happened and about Neil helping me uh he-he said he's glad I'm ok well his exact words was 'at least it's not worse and you get time off for it' I-I have to confess I've been very stressed lately kinda um not sleeping so oddly this accident was a blessing. I-I was put on pain killers and slept a lot and got to finally relax and just I don't know that's so weird ah." That's a lot to unpack. I didn't know he was under so much pressure but I guess as a prodigy he must have a lot of expectations from others. And ya he would be stressed from it all. Also sorry Sal apologized. I looked from Todd to Sally who was back in his kitchen getting whatever meal prepaired. D-did he switch because I was glaring at him. My head hurts so much. It's the lack of sleep and the confusion. Feel like I'm getting whip lash from this emotional roller coaster. Robert and Sal walked me to work, think he's worried about me cause I kinda broke down a little. I hope I can make it through work that nap didn't help at all. "Dude you ok" Robert asked. "Fucking no, man I can't sleep no matter how hard I try. Haven't gotten a wink in two days" I complained. "Stressed" he asked and of fucking course I am. "Yes are you kidding me right now" like this loon knows what I have to go through and that's not including the added stress from Sally. "Alright relax listen I'll find a way to get you something to take the edge off" He winked at me and I don't know why.

Sally was quiet during all that, no 'darling are you ok' 'do you need me to make you dinner my darling'. Alright so I'm overly annoyed lack of sleep will do that to you. They walked me to the front door. "Well guess I better go get the goods" Roberts started. He looked over at Sal and smiled "May I walk you home" he asked. Sal looked at him then at me like he was wondering what to do. He looked down and I wanna say he was ashamed but who knows with him. He just started walking away. "Guess that's a no, gonna fallow anyway" Robert started to hobble away. "Don't get stabbed" I warned and he flipped me off. Ya whatever don't get mad at me when Sally snaps and lightly stabs you. 

Still couldn't help worrying about it all shift. Texted Robert like a bunch and he told me to give him space. Fuck guess I was becoming the clingy one now. I feared going home cause man what if Sal was waiting for me. He wasn't, just a meal, fried rice coated in an omelet which shouldn't have been as good as it was. I knew he left it cause there was a sweet undertone to the food. Which ya now I was identifying his food. Of course I ate it, I was starving and I hadn't eaten all day. Gave Todd all of home ec meal cause I felt bad. This was stupid I shouldn't have to apologies for the horrible things Sal does. But I wan't him to be ok, I want Ash to be ok. She's barely spoken to me since the whole amusement park incident and I have to wonder. What did Sal really say to her. 

So ya another sleepless night with mild nightmares. Man why can't I just dream about strawberry's and sweet things. Why did it always have to be murders and running for my life. Maybe because I am running for my life, trying to keep everyone safe. Trying of take care of everyone. I'm so tired.

*****

Something was off about Sal today. He's normally so energetic but today he seems I don't know not. He's kinda shaky and he's not running as fast. He hasn't run laps around me like he normally does. Hes stayed in front of me for our whole warm up. Which was distracting as hell cause ok I'll admit I was staring at his ass as he ran. But you would to if someone in front of you was wearing short shorts and had a pretty sizable ass and thick thighs. Man he must be curvy from all the muscles he has. Cause he is pretty strong which you wouldn't expect him to be. I Had to shake my head to stop those thoughts. These shorts aren't gonna hide a boner if I pop one and I cant move myself around in this crowed. The teacher wanted us to play soccer again. Man whats his obsession and whats with my team wanting me to be goaly all the time. Especially with Sal's power kicks. I think I'd rather run around and trip over myself. Which ya he ran to my goal and kicked hard. Usually he just barely hits me but today it actually hit me in the stomach and ouch. If I had breakfast I would of certainly puke it back up. How was he so strong. 

"S-Sorry Darling are you ok" I took in a much needed breath "Peachy" I grabbed the ball from the net. "Sorry my aims been off today" was he not aiming for me. I thought he was getting pissy with me cause how I've been with him. "Its all good" I kicked the ball back out. Took him a second to run after it, almost like he didn't wanna run after it. After that the force he put in his kicks was a lot less. I actually got one in mid air. Was he lessening the power in case he couldn't aim. He lost, he actually lost a game I didn't think that was possible for him. I hope he doesn't take it hard and snaps. He doesn't like to lose. 

After changing I sat down in the grass with Robert and the gang. But Sal wasn't out yet usually he's out before me. "Hey saw you're team slaughter the girls that's a first" Robert laughed. "Ya....think somethings wrong with Sal" I slipped. "You mean besides you lashing out at him constantly hmm gee I wounder what could be wrong" sarcastic asshole. "Ya full offence but you're kinda mean to him which is kinda weird for you, why don't you just break up with him instead of being abusive" that's my trigger word. I try my absolute best not to be one of those fuckers and I know my anger slips sometimes but damn it I'm not abusive. I would of torn Chug a new one but I caught sight of Sally. He was walking slowly to us, his skirt was a little lower then usual. The girls at this school like to roll up their skirts so instead of resting at their knees it flows over their thighs. Guess he does to for that protest he's doing. 

He walked up to us and slowly sat down. Something was wrong he was shaking more as he lowered himself to the ground then kinda fell. He sighed and went to open his bag. "Hey saw that slaughter today never seen you lose a game before" shut up man you're rubbing salt in a wound. "I'm not myself today" he said as he took out a boxed lunch. "You ok" Ash asked. "Yes just a little sore" he set the box down beside me then a water bottle. "Hahaha ya I bet after yesterday" Roberts started and I was confused. "Yesterday" I questioned. "Ya man during gym he like tackled Bruce and sent him flying, it was hysterical they got into a bit of a fight but they were sneaky about it" Robert laughed. "Don't you remember it was just yesterday" Sal got into a fight. I quickly looked over at him and he jolted. "Are you ok" I asked instinctively. "O-Oh ya I-I'm fine i-it wasn't a fist fight. He, he got mad that the girls always win so we were trying to win over the other. I-I'm just a little sore but I'll be ok" he stammered. "Where does it hurt" I looked him over for any signs of pain or strain. "Ah- s-sorta all over but I'll be ok" he pushed the lunch box on to me. I took it with a sigh. I just wanted to help but he was shoving this meal at me. 

It's my day off so I let Todd cook for a change, also cause he asked. Think he's trying to learn for someone. It be cute if I wasn't so pissy. Still really tired also dreading the end of school. It meant that Sal would be coming over either invited or not. Mom set up those study dates and I know he'll do what he can to come over. He'd help me study and make me a meal cause that's who he is. But I feel like I'm using him for food. I know I shouldn't feel guilty I asked him to stop and he kept doing it cause he just wants to know I'm feed. I blushed a little at that, despite how insane it was. It was kinda sweet. 

He walked me home and I actually had to slow my pace for him. He was still fallowing behind but farther then usual. Was he having a hard time walking. Man I wish I could stop worrying about it. We got to my place which ya mom was gone. Time to start I guess. I took off my shoes and Sally slowly walked in. He looked around and I wonder if he was disgusted, I know we just cleaned but he's kind of a neat freak. "Ya I know it's a mess get over it" I snapped as I walked to the dinning table. I don't have the patients for this but I have a test coming up and if I fail another one I might actually have to repeat a grade. 

I set my bag down and took out my books. Sally sat down beside me, way to close. Guess he wasn't in that much pain if he was still able to act like this. He moved to take off his prosthetic rather slowly. I wonder if he was still unconformable with his face. He set the object on the table then pressed his fingers into his neck. Guess it would hurt having to wear something like that everyday. I know it was kind of a dick move but I couldn't help staring. There was just so much about his face to take in and I barely see him with out the prosthetic on. It reminded me of red corpse by mary woronov. A painting of a red figure spilled out on a white bed with a pink background. It's exactly how Sal looked especially when he blushed. He looked at me and started turning pink. "Sorry y-you just look like a painting" I turned to my text book and flipped to the right page. "Th-thank you" I heard him try to force out. He was kinda cute sometimes. 

Fuck I forgot he was super smart like Todd. He knew just how to explain things, using small folded up paper cones to keep my interest. Like he's move them around and make me focus on them as he explained shit so my focus was on him one way or the other. Cleaver. But I was starting to get it even though my head started hurting. My stupid brain shut down and now his words were like hammers to my brain. "Snack break" he asked and I groaned. He got up rather quickly and tripped over himself a little. He reached back and drug his fingers into the back of his hip. Guess the pain was in his lower back. He tried to straighten and walk to the kitchen but it was clear he was having a hard time moving. "Hey" I called out to him. "You ok" he turned to me and smiled. But it didn't look right, it had no curve to it w-was he forcing it. "I'm ok just a little heavy" he turned to walk to the kitchen. I snapped when I saw him use the counter to keep himself up as he shook. "Maybe you should sit down, it looks like your having I hard time moving" I commented. "Huh I-I'm ok I don't need to sit down" a clear lie. I had no patients for it "Tch get on the couch now" I ordered. He looked at me with wide eyes. 

He slowly made his way from the kitchen to the couch, keeping his eyes on me, eye? whatever. He sat down and I heard the tiniest groan of relief. Idiot. I got out of the chair also feeling a little sore. These chairs weren't meant to be sit on for long periods of time. I walked over to him, I know he was analyzing me to see what I was doing. "Lay down on your stomach" I gestured. He slowly laid down and put his legs on the couch. Now he was laid out flat, well as flat as you can get on a couch. I kneeled down beside the couch cause I'm a big dude and there was no space for my fat ass on the couch. He didn't ask questions which I thought was kind of weird. I lifted his shirt a little and he started shaking. I placed my hands on his back. His skin was so cold, maybe that's why he was shaking he must be cold. 

I dug my fingers in to start massaging where he was gripping. He made a loud noise like a groan then covered his mouth. I turned a bright red at that, damn he was vocal it was hard not to think dirty things. I shook my head and tried to focus. He was clearly in a lot of pain from the way he was shaking at my touch. He was really soft, like a lot softer then I thought possible. Like his skin was silk. Or what I think silk feels like. I massaged around his back dimples which I've never seen back dimples before. It was kinda cute. My hands fit around his sides so perfectly. But he was small and my hands are pretty long. I moved them up and down his lower back slowly going higher till I reached his shoulder blades. Then I freaked myself out cause I heard a crack even though I wasn't touching his spine. 

He moaned out so loud and I snapped back "S-Sorry did I hurt you" I asked trying not to be a pervert. "Ah that d-do that again" he asked, his voice was so breathy and deep. It was hard trying not to imagine other things. Man I haven't jacked it in a while maybe that was my issue. Maybe that's why I thought this was kinda erotic. I ran my hands up his back then pressed over his shoulder blade. I heard the crack again fallowed by a loud moan. How did I get myself into this situation all I wanted to do was help his aching muscles. But if it helped I tried to ignore it as I continued to dig into his clearly tense muscles. Like wow he was really wound. I went slow but hard as I massaged his back cause he didn't seem to feel it when I was light. I know from the noises. Now what was I suppose to do with that info, he's overly vocal and can't control his voice. It was kind of embarrassing. Just hope he doesn't start saying 'yes Larry' cause I might actually lose it. 

My hands got tired pretty quick cause of the force so I lightly rubbed his back. Just feeling the soft skin under my touch. It was still cold despite my hands being on him. It was strange but felt nice. It was another one of those moments where I think things could be ok, where it doesn't feel like the things he's done is real and we are just two kids trying to figure out what love is. Like those melancholy teens on tv trying to fit in a depressing world without being consumed by it. But we're not, I'm a man trying to appease an insane person and failing at it cause I can't keep my own emotions in check. 

I don't know how long I had zoned out for but I'm guessing awhile. My hands felt numb from rubbing and I wondered if be was ok. I removed my hands and pulled down his shirt. He didn't stir or whine when I stopped. I lowered myself so I could see his face. I had to smile cause he had fallen asleep. The sight made my heart flutter, he was so adorable with his hand in front of his face trying to hide his features even in his sleep. I don't know why but I leaned over and kissed his forehead. He had this scar that went from his eye lid to his forehead and I lightly kissed it. I wondered if he was in pain at all. Did it hurt when the world touched these parts of him. The red skin and white scares. Did it hurt when I touched them, did he just not care. Or did he have nerve damage and couldn't feel his face at all. I don't know why but that seemed sadder somehow. I lightly moved his bangs to fallow the scar, it did end before his hair line and I kissed the end of it. I hope it didn't hurt. He didn't stir at all, he was fast asleep. 

Maybe the white ones didn't feel like anything. I looked him over, he had red skin stretching over the bridge of his nose and a small patch beside his left eye. Most of his right cheek had red skin over it to. Whatever happened to him it became clear the impact most have been his right eye or just below it. What happened to you Sally, why were you in the hospital. What made you so crazy and despite to be in love with me. I kissed the tip of his nose and he did stir. I snapped back as I realized what I was doing. He brought his hand up and covered his nose but didn't seem to actually wake up. Man what was I doing, was I really kissing his face. I got up and walked away. Ok Just gonna make something, ya I'm sure mom went to grab something. Barely anything for the fridge she bought a bunch of quick meals and some meats. Man Sally's making my pallet picky cause I don't want any of this. But I grabbed some bistro burritos to make anyway. Eat what ya got and don't be a whinny little bitch about it. Man I need a nap. 

Ok I wasn't thinking I stuck them in the microwave and didn't think to grab the door before it went off. A loud beep echoed through the apartment and I freaked. There's no way Sal didn't wake up from that thing was as loud as the fire alarm. I looked at the couch and sure enough he was stirring. I grabbed the burritos with my shirt then carried it over to the living room. I set the plate down and looked over at Sal. I wish I hadn't. He was stretching and the smallest squeak came out of his throat. His shirt lifted and I saw his tummy. He had a small blue treasure trail on his belly. Why did I think it was cute. He moved his knees and set his legs up and I could just barely see up his skirt. Fuck this man and fuck hormones. "S-sit up please" I asked and ya my voice cracked. His eyes suddenly widened and he sat up quickly. "Are you ok darling" he sounded so worried. "Y-Ya just here I-I made you a burrito, well heated it up I didn't actually make it" I passed the plate over and Sat down on the ground. I didn't wanna be near him plus I was pretty sure I was carrying a semi right now. "O-Oh thank you" he blushed and went to grab one of the burritos. 

He took a small bite, ok I was a little worried he wouldn't like it and I know that's stupid cause I didn't actually make it. But he makes everything from scratch and I wanted him to be ok with what I knew how to do. So Ya I watched him from the corner of my eye. He seemed confused by the foods dough then took another bite. His eyebrows raised and he seemed surprised by the taste. I couldn't help laughing at him, he was so expressive without the mask on. He looked at me concerned but with a tiny smile in the corner of his mouth. "Sorry you're just really expressive it caught me off guard" I chuckled. "O-Oh...ya I guess I am n-never learned how to hide my expressions" I laughed at how cute he was. I wasn't gonna tell him that cause I know he'd get neurotic. I grabbed the other burrito and started just inhaling it. Fuck I was hungry. 

I worried about him finishing the burrito cause that would mean going back to studying and I so was not up for it. "L-Larry" he asked and it alarmed me. he never used my name like ever. He was twiddling his fingers in his lap as he stared at his knees. "I-...Are you ok I-I know you haven't been sleeping a-and you barely finish your meals" is he serious right now. I'm to tired to have this conversation with him. "I think you should leave" I got up and grabbed the plate. "A-ah...if that's what you want" he didn't fight me. Was I wearing him down. Was he falling out of love with me. If he did would I no longer be safe. "C-can I um have a kiss before I go" he asked as I rinsed off the dish. I sighed, no you may not. I turned around and he was standing on our stepping stool. We got it awhile ago so we could reach the top of the fridge without hassle. But he was standing on it, trying to be a little taller. I know I should be mad but it was kinda funny. Fine. 

I walked over to him and leaned over a little. I kissed the side of his cheek, kissing his lips is to addictive to be ok. And he was still in trouble. So I kissed the red skin on his right side. He bit his lip as he turned red. "Now leave" he hopped off the stool and rushed to grab his mask. He put it on and left the apartment "See you tomorrow my darling...oh maybe this will help I promise I won't hurt Todd again or Ash" he walked out the door. What a loon he acts stupid but he knows exactly whats going on. He knows why I'm pissed and why he's in trouble. Needs to be shown how to behave my ass. He knows exactly what he's doing.


	11. this didn't help I think this is worse

Another miserable week or half a week cause it was like thursday I think. I don't know I've been kinda on auto pilot for most of the week. I don't think I can take much more of this. Sally constantly being by my side and making me wonder who his next target is. I know what he said but you can't trust a crazy man. And what did that mean for Robert was I suppose to know it was a give in cause he saved the guys life or was he still on the fence about the guy. I wish my mind would turn off. I don't know how my morning went just that Sal walked me to school, was he in my apartment again. Did I eat this morning, what did we do for gym. I was laying on the grass avoiding the unforgiving sun. "Dude you really are dead" Robert laughed and I moved to hit him. But knocked my hand away. "Its all good I know how to get the stuff, pick you up after work" I groaned which he took as a yes. 

"You should eat for energy" Sal spoke up. "Will you stop its always eating with you maybe I just wanna die how about that" I snapped. "Hey what the shit is wrong with you don't snap at him like that" Robert yelled at me. "Dude seriously don't be shitty to your boyfriend it's not his fault, asshole" Careful what you say Maple or sally will chop you into pieces. I screamed into the ground. It is his fault. If he was normal and not totally insane maybe I wouldn't be so stressed. I'd still be stressed lets be real. I moved my head to look at Sally. But I couldn't see anything, he had his eyes closed so it was just darkness. Except a noticed a drop fall from the eye hole. 

Shit I made him cry again. It was the dead comment wasn't it. I sighed at the sight. Why do I have to be so big hearted. I brought my hand to wrap around his. He opened his eyes a little to see what was going on. I gave him a squeeze "I won't die, I'm just not hungry ok" I whispered but the group would hear anyway. He gripped onto my hand and I let him. Man I need to stop being nice to him, he's suppose to be in trouble and I keep rewarding him. He's not learning. But what is there to teach when it's obvious he knows he shouldn't be doing what he's doing. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I let Todd cook again today I was to tired plus I had Sally's lunch if I got hungry later. "U-Um should I do it like this" he asked me as he folded a dumpling. Not even close. "Hang on did you wet the sides" I asked. "Oh no l-let me try again" man come one I'm delirious and I remembered to wet the sides. Or did I. I rolled my eyes and blinked a few times to try and take in what I was seeing. Ya my dumpling was wet. I set it in the pan to fry. "So why such an interest in getting hands on experience" I asked and he fumbled. "A-I Um well th-the thing is um N-Neil likes H-home cooked meals. H-he has a very sensitive stomach so-" what a dork. "Then ask Sally for help" I blurted. "S-Sally" he questioned. "Ya I mean he's and herbalist and likes making food or at least he likes making me food. He always gives me a lunch and It's always delicious and some how sweet...I wonder what he does to make it sweet like it's something that's been bothering me I-is it love. Is that what I'm tasting. Is he so love struck that you can taste it in his food. No that's stupid right. Todd" I looked over but Todd wasn't beside me anymore. 

I looked around the room and saw him talking to Sally. When did he leave. My god was I that far gone. I noticed Sally's ears were red and he was swaying a little as he held his prosthetic. Stop being so adorable. A sizzling noise caught my attention and I remembered the dumpling. Shoot I left it on its side for to long. Todd didn't come back so I had to clean up all by myself. Man come on I stuck up for you, help a man out. "Dude can you even go to work the way you are" Robert asked. "I shouldn't but like it's to late to call in plus we need the money" I wiped down the counter then left the rag my the sink. "Psh alright I'll walk you to work" he squeezed my shoulder. "Why do I feel like you're gonna bitch me out" I turned to walk and almost tripped on Sally. Son of a bitch why was he so close I'm a clumsy fuck I could of taken us both down. For fuck sakes. 

The boys walked me to work again. Man I got my own secret service or something. "So am I walking you home again Sally" Robert asked. Was he always talking and I was just zoning out or did he just start talking out of no where. "You've walked him home" I asked. I had no idea where Sally lived only that it was near by my place. "I tried got up town and passed the Walmart super center before I lost him" Robert informed. What the shit that's no where near where I live, the super center is like a good hour and half walk away. This bitch lied to me. I looked over at Sal. "It's close to me" he told. What that's not close at all. "Hang on you walk from my place or do you bus" he didn't answer. "Man come on you're gonna get stabbed" I forgot who I was talking to for a second. "I can take care of myself" he simply said. Ya, ya he can. "But it's sweet that you worry about me, I'll text you every time I get home from now on" shit. "Welp here we are, wish I could take care of your boy toy but I gotta get you the goods" the man hobbled away. I looked down at his cast, wondering what he was talking about. I caught sight of the yellow dick I drew on the back then started snickering. 

"H-he still hasn't notice the dick I drew on the back" I pointed out. Sally chuckled as he looked the cast over "you're so funny" he told me. "See you after work my darling, anything you want for dinner" and the moments gone. I ignored him as I walked into the store. Great so he was gonna walk me home and make me something to eat. Which sounds kinda stupid to be angry about. But I never get time alone. I'm always looking over my shoulder wondering if he's there and if hes gonna snap and try and kill me. I zoned completely out as I stocked and priced stuff on the shelf. Just a regular shift and lucky me I didn't have to hop on cash at all. After work I left to see Robert standing outside with a big smile on his face. That can't be good but it cause me to smile back. "Ah there he is smiley and devious" he teased. "Who me nah I'm a good boy" we both laughed. I was far from a good boy, I constantly get into fights. "Here my dude have a little fish" he handed me a gummy fish from a brown bag. Weird but damn I'm starving. I ate the whole thing, it tasted off like maybe it was spoiled if Swedish fish can spoil. "Whow ok" Robert snickered. "Wanna take a walk through the park" what was he crazy at this time of night. I was gonna say forget it but I noticed a shadow mixed with ours when a car ran by. Sally. Always fallowing me. "Sure but I hear one worry some thing and I'm leaving your crippled ass" he laughed at me. We crossed the street and walked over to the park. I don't know why he thought this was a good Idea or why seeing Sally made me feel safer about the other shit in the dark. The park was nice at night but every small noise had me jumping. "It's cool man just avoid the mostly tree part" Robert commented. "It's all tree man" he laughed. "You're to loud you're gonna get us shot or something" he laughed louder at me. "Man you're so paranoid, hope you don't have a bad trip" he cackled. "Ya me and my big ol feet gonna trip in this darkness" he smiled at me like he was unsure. "Ah sure but also you're trip" I blinked at him. "What" I asked. "Th-the gummy man" he said like it should be obvious. It wasn't. 

He started chuckling kinda guiltily "Oh no dude you knew that was an edible right" what the fuck no. My eyes widened and his laughing increased. "Oh my god I'm so sorry I thought you knew that's what I meant by the goods." He tried to smile. "No oh god I ate the whole gummy" he started laughing so hard. "You ate the whole gummy" he repeated. Shit I didn't have much time to get home before I got fucked up. I started running down the path. "Wait Larry don't run off" he started to yell. "Sorry I gotta get home quick and no offence but you'll slow me down" I shouted back. "Don't go alone" I coukd hear his crutches. "I'm not alone" I rushed out of the park not even thinking to make sure Robert was ok. It was a bad spot to be. I rushed down the street not caring about how fast I was going, Sal made it perfectly clear he can run laps around me. 

I know its bad but if this shit hits before I get home I'm kinda relying on him to help me the rest of the way. I know he's still fallowing me, I can see the shadow of his pig tails in the distance. Fuck what if it's laced. Oh man I never thought of that, I don't know his dealer and there's been a lot of cases about weed being laced with other stuff. Oh shit what if, what if I'm on acid or cocaine. That shits super addictive. What if I get hooked and become a druggy and start stealing shit and become just as dirty as this town. What if I steal from the wrong person and turn up dead. Would my mom be sad or conflicted in that scenario. Why was I thinking so hard about it what is that fucking noise. I look over at this parking meter, when did I stop running I could of swarn I was running. Am I still outside the park. OH shit do I know this area. Why was I hearing the grand pacer test speech in my head. Unless it's not in my head, is this meter speaking to me. No maters don't talk, then where the fuck is it coming from. Oh god it was laced or is this how edibles are suppose to be. I've never had one before. 

"Larry hey" I looked up and I guess I was just staring at the floor. ground? why was I still looking at it didn't I look up. A pair of cold hands rested on my cheeks and tilted my head. I met such large turquoise eyes, so beautiful like they were their own world and I was looking at the sky. "Larry speak to me are you ok" such a deep voice but it was so soft. Not gravely or rough. I held the hands on my face "the meters reciting the pacer test" I told him. "O-ok lets walk away, don't pay it any mind and fallow me" he removed his hands from my face and grabbed my wrist. "Where we going" I asked, letting myself be guided. But my feet are so stupid clumsy. I felt like I was seeing red all around and I don't know why. Like the sky was red instead of black. Oh fuck something bad is gonna happen. "It's red Sally the streets are red" I shook. "Um right now, but it's a rainbow Larry just gotta get to the next color but we have to walk" I not walking. I tried to move my feet, were they even moving. "I-am I walking" I shouted. "Yes, it'll be ok we'll be home in no time" how can I believe that when I don't even know where I am. I can't process the buildings, fuck what is happening. "Ahh i-it's happening I'm hearing that damn test, where is it coming from" that fucking pacer test I hate it. Was it in my head, oh fuck my heart feels like it's gonna beat out of my chest. 

"Sally my hearts trying to run away" I held my chest to stop it. My heart wasn't going anywhere, I won't let it. Suddenly the red was replaced with turquoise, a cold hand was placed on my chest. "You're alright my love, your hearts not going anywhere" he sounded so calm. How can he be so calm when it's this loud. He held both my hands and started pulling me, he wasn't turned around to watch where he was going. His eyes were trained on me. He was so blue like a little blue berry. "Come with me And you'll be In a world of pure imagination, Take a look and you'll see Into your imagination." Was he singing or was I losing it. He moved and suddenly I was spun I think. "We'll begin with a spin Travelling in the world of my creation What we'll see will defy explanation" his voice was so light, nothing like I thought it be. I-I think I know this song. I fallowed him as we walked. Finding all I could see was blue and all I could hear was his soft voice. 

"If you want to view paradise Simply look around and view it Anything you want to, do it Wanna change the world? There's nothing to it. There is no life I know To compare with pure imagination Living there you'll be free If you truly wish to be." I smelt marshmallows as we walked. Sweet marshmallows it made me hungry. So hungry. I was being pulled into my apartment. When did we get here. I was still reeling on the words Sally sang. Fuck was I talking wasn't I. What. "Sit down my love I'll get you something to eat" I fell into the couch and yelped cause oh man I didn't think I'd hit the cushion. "Oh man" I started but didn't say anything else. I stared at the blank tv for a who knows how long before I realized it wasn't on. "S-Sally" I called out as I realized I was alone. "I'm here darling" I heard him but didn't see him. "Where" I went to get up and suddenly he was beside me with a plate. "Oh fuck" I shouted. "Sit please" I grabbed the back of the couch and slowly sat down in it so I didn't fall. He handed me the plate oh wait it was a bowl, why did I think it was a plate. "Here It's simple just some rice, vegetables, and shrimp but I didn't know what you wanted" he sat down beside me. "Ah nah it's fine" I went to eat and just zoned the fuck out. I stared at the black screen and I don't know stared. I didn't snap back till I poked myself with the fork. 

"Ouch the fuck" I asked then looked down to see I ate everything. I set the bowl down then turned to Sally except he wasn't there. "S-Sally" I yelled out as I looked around the apartment. "Coming" I heard him call out. He came running out of my room with my pillow. He placed it down on the arm rest. "You should sleep this off" he pushed my shoulders down gently. He was right it just be better to sleep it off. I'm gonna kill Robert the next time I see him. I snapped my eyes open and quickly sat up "No wait Sally don't kill Robert" I shouted. I saw him in the kitchen holding a knife. He stomped his foot then put the knife away "Fine." I settled back down on the couch. But still felt uneasy. "Sal can you sit here" I asked. I'd feel better If I knew where he was. He sat down on the couch by my legs. Perfect now I can sleep knowing he's not going anywhere. Just peaceful sleep. A sleep with strawberry's. Except I didn't dream about strawberry's. I dreampt about my dad which hasn't happened for a long time. He was shoving paper into a printer and there was a conveyor belt full of paper that I knew was bills. I grabbed them and tried to sneak them into the trash but I got caught. He yelled at me about how I wasn't allowed to do that and I had to do what everyone else is doing. He kept getting bigger and bigger till he was big enough to pick me up. He threw me out and shut the lid. 

I woke up crying. I know I was cause my face was wet. Once I was awake I started sobbing. Fuck drugs man they were suppose to help and all this has done is made me have a panic attack and another nightmare. Now I was alone, always fucking alone. I felt the couch move and looked over. Sally was starting to get up, he was still here. I sat up quickly and he stood up on his knees. "Darling whats wrong" he reached for my face. I grabbed him, I had to. I needed to hold something and he was the only thing around. Always around no matter how much I push he's still beside me. He's here taking care of my dumbass, always. Always taking care of me, making me meals, nursing me back to health, watching my back whenever I leave the apartment. This. He's always here for me just a literal call away. He's not gonna leave me. I hiccuped as I held him close in my lap. "It's ok my love I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" it's like he knows. Like he knows whats wrong with me. I sat back to take in a shaky breath. I want him. I leaned forward and Kissed his mask. This stupid piece of shit plastic or whatever. "Larry" he asked. I should be scared how excited I got when he says my name. But I'm not. I sat back a bit, disappointed by the fucking prosthetic. I looked him over, w-was he wearing a silk shirt and shorts. when did he change. Did he leave me to change.

"Are you wearing silk" I asked. "What no I'm still in my uniform, I-I can wear silk if that's what you want" I'm scared cause I kinda do. I wanna see him in silk. The thought was making me burn up. Why does he have to be so adorable and erotic. I shouldn't be letting this happen. I should tell him to get off and run away. But I'm so high and horny. My brain is completely gone and all I wanna do is fuck something. I Wanna fuck him, I know it's just the edibles but he looks so good to me. I think he's wearing silk but he said he was wearing his school uniform. My eyes were playing tricks on me. He smells so wonderful like marshmallows and I wanna taste him. I hold him close and just take in that delicious sent. I want him. I kiss his neck and he tenses under me. I have to bite down, have to sink my teeth into him. I do and he gasps. "L-Larry" I hear him but it's barely registering. Closer I need him closer. I lower my hand and grip his ass to bring him close. "Ah d-darling don't touch me like that" he gasped. Oh please like he hasn't been wanting this the way he treats me, like a meal.

Not this time. "I'm gonna devour you" is all I can manage to say. Fuck my dick was so hard, I just wanted to plow into him so hard, make him scream for me as I hit his sweet spot. "L-Larry d-do you want me" he pushed me back a little, which I guess I was weaker then I thought cause he felt so strong to me. I looked at his love sick eyes. That's what they were when they were hearts utterly love sick. "Yes" I spoke. If I said yes would he let me fuck him. Would he sit on me and bounce on me so desperately. Giving him everything he's wanted. Why do I want that. Why do I wanna give him everything. "Lay back my love I'll make you feel good, take care of you" he pushed me back down on the couch. I was down and he was on top of me. He unclasped his mask then took it off. He showed me that canvas of his, covered in a story still untold.

He smiled and his lip curled in such a prefect way, I want it. I want his mouth on me, connected to mine and kissing me. Feeling those scares on my skin and knowing I get to feel it. He moved back a little then undid my pants. Fuck was he gonna suck me. The thought made me wanna buck or maybe that was the cold hands working my pants down a little. He was so skill full or maybe I was that far gone. He reached in slowly, watching me as he touched me. I gasped at the feeling, I was so sensitive. I've never been that sensitive but he also had the coldest hands ever and it felt so fucking good on my hot skin. He pulled me out slowly and I watched his eyes widen at the sight of my dick. I don't brag but I know I'm pretty big. He got over the shock pretty quick and lowered down so he was close to it. I could feel his breath on it the mixing temperatures making me even more sensitive. He kissed the top and I moaned at the feeling. It was so slight but it sent electricity down. He licked me ever so slightly and it made me impatient. "Just suck me already" I spoke without thinking. "So impatient maybe I wanna tease my darling a little" he smiled. God those lips were so perfect, I could trace the curves for hours. He lowered himself and stuck out his tongue. He ran it up the side then circled around my head. I moaned at the sensation. It was so fucking good, but nowhere enough. "Fuck please Sal, I want to feel your mouth, let me- let me fuck you" I need it so bad and he was making it worse.

"Y-You wanna fuck me" god even hearing him swear was turning me on. I wanna make him swear so much more. "Y-you can you know...um..f-face fuck me I-I don't have a gage reflex" he told and I could explode from those words. "A-an-d I sorta l-like hair pulling" he mumbled. I want him back down here, I wanna do that. Pull his precious blue locks and shove myself inside him so deep. "Ah yes please let me" I begged. What else could I do, I was to gone to be in-charge. I couldn't even sit up without being dizzy and wobbling. "Ah just hearing you beg for me makes my body heat up. You have no Idea what you do to me Larry" he was talking but I barely heard it. I was to busy watching those perfect lips move. Each curve, each stretch was so memorizing. I want them to stretch over me and I want it now. "Please" I spoke. I know I sounded desperate, I was. "Of course my love, anything you want" he lowered back down and placed his lips on the head. Fuck it felt so good, a shiver ran up my spine as I felt his hot mouth start to slid over my dick.

I tried not to buck even though I wanted to shove it so far down. I Also wanted to watch him slowly lower himself. Watching as his lips stretched over me and he took in what he wanted of me. Which ended up being all of me. He lowered all the way down and I grabbed the back of his head. I gripped his hair, not knowing if I was trying to ground myself or fighting myself on just holding him there. It was such a glorious sight, his cheeks were full of me and I knew I was hitting the back of his throat. He slowly moved up and I let him. He sucked on the head and I moaned, he was still toying with me. Licking and sucking me then swallowing me whole again. I couldn't help bucking up and pulling his hair. I don't know if I had control and was losing it or was gaining energy from this. He really didn't have a gag reflex. I could just barely feel his lips on my balls as his throat constricted around me. I'm not ashamed to say I whimpered at it all.

"Ah yes oh Sal ffffuck" I sputtered. Everything entering my mind was spilling out of my mouth along with every pleasure filled noise I could make. He was good and I wanted to watch him not have my head tossed back. But it was hard to keep my head up. I forced it up anyway. It was such a perfect sight. He moved up and sucked on the head again. But I saw something in the gap between us. His skirt was pushed up and his stripped panties where pulled down. I could just barely make out what he was doing with my foggy vision. His hand was moving and I knew he was jerking himself off. I moaned so loud at the sight. He was sucking me so damn good and jerking himself off to the feeling. It was so hot and it made me lose it. "Your fucking yourself. God that's so hot" I grabbed his head again and I think he knew what I was doing. I felt him relax around me and I grabbed the blue locks so hard.

I shoved my hips up then down. I kept doing it, fucking his willing mouth like the desperate whore I am. Reveling in the feeling of him. Then he started moaning in my thrusts and it sent vibrations all over me. "Fuck ya Sal, oooo god you're so prefect. Taking me so god damn well ah fucking yourself, its so ah~ so hot so hot. Fuck I wanna watch you, wanna hmm yes, oh fuck yes" I just kept moaning what ever came to mind, loving the view of him meeting my thrusts so eagerly as he pumped himself. He was so fucking erotic I could feel myself getting close. "So-So close Sal g-gonna cum down your throat baby" I was met with the most lovely moan around my shaft as I said that. I did pick up speed a little and it hit. I Shoved him down my cock and watched him take everything as I cam in his mouth and down his throat. Not my proudest moment but right now I didn't care. He didn't protest and I got to fuck him.

I let him go and he sprung up off me. Maybe I held him down to harshly. He looked at me so lust drunk, his pupils blown so wide and his face so red. He swallowed and a shiver ran through me. "You taste amazing my love, saying such beautiful things to me I'm so lucky to have you" he blabbered. Fuck he would give me anything I asked if I said it sweet enough. I gripped the back of the couch and pulled myself up. Most would say its gross but after what he just did, he deserved this. "Larry" he asked, surprised by the sudden movement. I had to kiss him, I still needed those lips and I know he needed mine. I pressed against the scare tissue and all I could taste was myself. It was a little gross but feeling him melt into it and hold onto me was enough to make me stay. I lowered my right hand down and slipped under his skirt. He hummed into the kiss as I touched him, wrapping my hand around his cock. He pulled back and gasped. "L-Larry what are you-" he was shaking at the contact. It was so cute.

I didn't answer, I don't think I could after all that. I was tired but I wanted him to cum. Wanted to hear him scream my name and I know he's a screamer. I started stroking him and he let out a surprised moan. Like something got caught in his throat. I guess I didn't have enough strength in my arm to keep it going or hit the speed he wanted. He grabbed my wrist and held it a certain way. "T-Tighten your grip a-a little" he asked me and of course I obliged. Once I did he started moving his hips and fucking my hand. Damn if I didn't just cum I would from the sight. He bucked into my hand and pulled out my name in pleading moan. "Ah Yes, Yes Larry, fuck fuck your so good to me, make me feel so fucking good. yes, yes" he was so loud I'm sure the neighbors heard. But I didn't care, I wanted him to be louder. I wanted him to say my name more till he was cumming with it stuck in his throat. "Cl-close" he started slowing down a little. "Cum for me" I said, desperately wanting to see it. He looked at me as best he could then picked up speed again.

"Ah~ yes, yes Larry, Larry, Larry Ah Lar-" He gripped me so tight as he rode out his orgasm, trying so hard to keep his eyes open so he could stare at me through it. He was panting hard as he let go of my wrist. I let go of him then leaned back a little to give him space. Must of been a lot more then a little cause I hit the arm rest on the couch. I blinked cause I didn't even notice my sight changing. "Larry" Sal hovered over me looking so worried. "Still messed" was all I could say. I wanted to close my eyes and just pass out. I guess I did cause it was suddenly dark. I couldn't see anything and I was losing feeling in my body. Sal's voice rang out to me and I barely caught it before I just fell into whatever delusions my brain wanted to play.

"I'll take care of you my love."


	12. Like mice or rats

I don't care that Robert apologized to me I'm pissed. I woke up to toast and orange juice sitting on the table. And no eggs. Don't think my stomach could handle it anyway. "Good morning my darling. I hope you don't mind I didn't feel like waking you so we're a little late for class" I groaned in annoyance at being awoken. Then it hit me someone was talking. I sat up and yelped. "S-Sally what are you doing here" I groaned at my own stupid loud voice. "It's alright I've been here all night" he walked over and set a bottle of medication on the table. "Whatdya mean you've been here all night, who let you in" I tried not to shout. His eyes widened as he looked at me. "Y-you did, you were talking about the grand pacer test and how your heart felt like it was gonna run away so I took you home to feed you and make sure you were ok, y-you rewarded me" he blushed and held a hand over his prosthetic mouth. What was he talking about. 

"What are you talking about, all I remember is panicking shades of red and blue and...having a dream about my dad then orange juice" I stared at the glass for a second then sighed. "You were the blue weren't you" I asked as I looked at him. I was paralyzed, His eyes were half lidded and this time I could see the tears forming. I got up instinctively but froze. "Oh I-it's ok I just have something in my eye e-excuse me" he hurried to the bathroom and closed the door. I sank into the couch. Man did I do that, somethings in his eye, I don't know about that. I took a slice of toast and just ate whatever I could. I ended up passing back out right after though. I woke up and the place looked trashed. I blinked at the mess the fuck. I went to get up and was immediately pushed down hard. "Sleep darling everything will be ok" Sally was on top of me. "What are you-" he covered my face with a rag really. "Shhh sleep my love you need sleep" I tried to push him away but I was still weak from whatever Robert gave me. I quickly fell back into darkness. 

I bolted up when I woke up again but the apartment was clean, cleaner then clean. "Oh Darling it's almost time for work are you going to call in sick" I blinked at Sally who was in the kitchen. I was confused wasn't the place in chaos and wasn't he holding a rag to my face. "Ah no g-gonna go in wasn't this place a mess" I asked as I looked around. "Oh yes it was very messy so I cleaned it for you doesn't it look neat" there was something to his voice. Something not right. It scared me. "Y-Ya" I questioned. "Oh good" he turned around and fiddled with something in the kitchen. "Uh sure hey I-I don't really want you in the apartment while I'm not here so do-do you mind leaving" why was I asking. 

There was just this odd aura around him that was scaring the crap out of me. He looked over at me and I felt stabbed somehow. His iris was so small it reminded me of when he chased me around with a knife. "I'll leave when you leave then darling" his voice was to sweet. "Oh-ok" I sat back down and noticed there was a glass of water on the table. I took the glass and downed it. Man I was thirsty. Time to get ready for work. 

He did as I asked he left the apartment when I did but he was still fallowing me to work. I looked over my shoulder as I walk down the street, he's fallowing me not even trying to hide it. He's a few feet behind me, not hiding at all. Man I'm so tired this whole situation is mentally straining. A constant emotional roller coaster. I close my eyes and sigh. Wrong move cause a cop car pulled up and almost rolled onto the curb. I jumped back once they turned on the siren. Sal was quick to run up and grab my arm, possessively probably. A man came out of the car then Roberts mom. Oh thank god someone I can trust. But she didn't look happy she looked worried with a smile. "Hey Lar-bear" shit something bad is coming. It's the only time she calls me that. "Hey Mrs Silva" I greeted. "Hey can you come down to the station for me, just got a couple questions to ask you" thats never good. But what could they need to ask I haven't done anything. "About what" I asked, Sal gripped tighter on my arm. It alarmed me and kinda hurt, I looked down at him. 

He wasn't looking at me or Mrs Silva, he was glaring at her partner. I looked at him as Mrs Saliva started talking. He had his hand on his gun, unbuckled his strap in case he needed to quickly take it out. "Just need you to answer some questions on a case, please don't resist" she asked. It was a warning. I stepped forward but Sal held me back. Of course. "Ah can Sally come" he wasn't gonna let me go alone and I'd rather avoid conflict at all cost. "Of course" she opened the door. I let Sally get in first so he'd feel better about not leaving me. Was I really putting his feelings into account now, augh. We got to the station and were told to sit on a bench while they got the interrogation room set up. If you were out looking for someone why would you need to get the room ready for them. Shouldn't it already be ready. Whatever, we did as we were told we sat on the bench. A few cops stood around, clearly monitoring us. Man I hope Sally can keep it together while we're here, if he goes all psycho here they'd lock him up for sure. Wait wouldn't I want that, then he'd be off my case and I wouldn't have to check my shoulder every hour to see if he was around. Which he always was I never have a moment of peace since our amusement park trip. Maybe I could get him rallied up to cause a scene. Then he'd be detained and I can have a moment of relief. I looked over at him, how would I go about doing that without looking suspicious or getting on his bad side. What to do. Maybe hold his hand to get him started, make him love sick. I reached over to his lap with a shaky hand. God my hand was twitching so much. I placed my hand on his and slowly wrapped it around the side. His hands were so small. He turned it around and intertwined our fingers. 

"Scared" he asked me. How was I suppose to answer, of course I was scared. I don't know what this is about or whats going on and I got a crazy person beside me. "It'll be ok my darling, you did nothing wrong. Besides I'm here to protect you so you have nothing to fear" He closed his eyes, probably in a smile but I couldn't see. Ya I did nothing wrong you did. With the murdering and arson. Why do I some how feel more uneasy that he's gonna protect me. "Larry we're ready for you" Mrs. Silva called to me. I stood up but my hand was pulled. I looked at Sal, he was glaring at the passage, or I hope it was the passage and not Roberts mom. "Hey I'll be ok I won't be alone Mrs Silva will be with me" I smiled at him. I needed him to let me go and get this over with. He let my hand go, I wonder if he was pouting under the prosthetic by the way he was looking at me. 

I walked over to Roberts mom and she guided me to the integration room. Room four. She opened the door and I walked in. There was a man sitting at the steel table. A generic looking man brown hair, brown eyes, white and in a suit. I sat down across from him and noticed their was no fake glass in the place. It was just a windowless room. I didn't know they made rooms like this. "Larry Evelyn Johnson right" the man asked, his voice sounded so sickeningly smug. "Ya" I answered. "Thats an interesting name, guessing Evelyn would of been your name if you were a girl" he asked. Um duh. "Ya it was my aunts name, she died before my parents got together" why am I tellong him that. "Tragic" what an asshole dude clearly didn't care. He started fiddling with his gun which scared the crap out of me. Were officers allowed guns in here. He popped it open then began taking it apart. Was he trying to assert dominance or something.

"You know a man by the name of Lucas Holmes" I shook my head at the question. "No" he nodded his head. "You seem uncertain by that, he's got wealthy connections who personally hired us to find him. You see he went missing a few weeks back no ones seen him since march 10th." So what does that have to do with me. "Nancy do me a favor and bring us some tea, we want our friend here to feel welcomed and he just looks so scared" the man laughed. Mrs Silva left the room and my fear spiked. What was he gonna do now that we were alone with no witnesses. W-was he one of those dirty cops that didn't like to fallow the law. "Witnesses say they saw you walk into an alley with him" what. "Surveillance cameras confirm it, wanna see" he stood up and grabbed a tape. That's when I noticed the tv in the corner. Man I really wasn't observant. He stood beside it and played the tape. It wasn't the best quality but it wasn't the worst either. I watched myself walk down the street then some guy in a hoodie ran up to me and we both went into the ally. Couldn't tell he had pushed me on film. 

This was crazy were they gonna pin his disappearance on me. It was Sally's fault, he killed the man because he bashed my head in and robbed me. But the bruise was gone and I didn't get checked for a concision so there was no medical files to check. Fuck. "Lets just watch that one more time" he rewound the footage. Prick. I watched the man approach me again but focused on the right corner of the screen. No one would notice unless they were looking but on the wall I saw Sally's shadow enter the screen. Fuck he really was fallowing me that night. I started shaking. "See that so I find it hard to believe when you say you don't know him" fuck I was gonna get framed. "I didn't know who he was, he pushed me in the ally and tried to mug me all I saw of him was shiny teeth" the truth was best. "He tried to mug you" ok maybe not the whole truth, where was my evidence. "Yes he pulled out a gun that clearly wasn't loaded and tried to take my wallet but I don't keep money in my wallet I keep it in my shoe just in case" I babbled, there was no way I was gonna be framed when the real murderer was just outside the door. 

He sat back down and picked up the pieces to his gun. He started putting it together then showed me the chambers. He stuck one bullet in then closed it. He pointed it at me and I felt my body drop. "Lets play a game ya how about some russian roulette, you win if I die and even then wonder how that would look." He shot the gun and I flinched, closing my eyes and waiting for the bullet. Flashes of my dream came spiraling back to me. I know it's been awhile but I felt like cold steel was going through my throat. "Or you could just admit to killing him" he put the gun to his head and shot without hesitating. This man was crazy, was this whole town on crack or something. Was it just that bad that everyone in it was a psycho. "Cause lets be real here he's not missing" he shot the gun at me and I screamed, finally finding my voice. "Scream all you want not ones gonna care, just some scared kid who doesn't know how to handle an interrogation." I swallowed hard. "D-don't think this is part of the interrogation" I stammered as I shook. He shot himself then pointed the gun at me again. But this time he smiled wickedly.

"Something interesting about this gun, most of this model are made with six chambers but this one was made with five" Fuck and no ones been shot which meant I was staring at the bullet. He was gonna shoot me, I-I'm going to die all because this cop wanted so badly to have answers. Why wasn't I just screaming out that it was Sally, he murdered the man. The cop pressed on the trigger I felt like my life was flashing in my panic. 

Building my tree house with my dad and mom. My mom sitting at the table of our old house after she lost my sister in the womb. Closing the door on our old house as we left because my dad fucked us over. My abuela's funeral, the music festival with Ash, Sally. The door opened but I couldn't move to see who it was. Quickly he put on the safety and set the gun down. "Ah the te-" his smile fell and he looked pissed. That caused me to look at the door, Sally walked in with a trey in his hands. "Don't mind me Nancy said I could bring in the tea" he set the trey down then moved to grab the pot. "Hey I pour my own tea thank you" the cop grumbled. Sally stepped towards me and away from the trey. The cop did pick up the pot and poured it into two cups. "You seem stressed mister Johnson care for some soothing tea so we may get back to you answering my questions." He was talking like it was the weather, like he didn't just almost shoot me. I took the cup that was offered to me but my hands were so shaky I couldn't hold it still. I went to take a sip but Sal placed a hand over the top of my cup then pushed it down. I was confused by the action. I looked at him and his irises barely had any light in them, his real eye even seemed smaller then the other. Oh shit he was in psycho mode, he shook his head a little. Oh fuck what did he do to the tea.

I set my cup down then looked over at the cop. I opened my mouth to warn him not to drink it but the words stopped, more like they never formed. My shoulders fell as I sat back in the chair. He drank the cup completely. "Ah that's the good stuff, what to hot for you" he asked me. I just stared at him, what could Sal have done to the tea. A sedative, nah he'd be able to taste that. Poisson maybe. "Hmm there's something familiar about you, whats your name" the cop pointed to Sal. "Salvestor Fisher" his name is Salvestor that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. "Fisher ah your dads that stupid lawyer that destroys my cases, hate that guy" the cop groaned. "Why because he's good at his job" oh Sally no. "Don't get cheeky with me bitch" I quickly grabbed Sal's wrist before he could take to many steps towards the cop. Don't need a reason to get locked up right now. The man smirked but it didn't last long. He stood up and held his chest suddenly. He started hacking and making gagging noises like he had something stuck in his throat. The sudden movement caused me to stand up and step back. "Whats wrong officer, thirsty here have some tea" Sal passed my cup over. The man grabbed it then chucked it at Sal. It was way off and hit the wall, Sally didn't flinch at all. "Now lets be civil there's better ways of saying no" what the fuck did he put in that drink.

"Ah you little shit" the man threw the trey on the ground and shattered everything. The noise caused a few officers to run inside to see what was happening. Oh god was he dying, did Sal just kill someone in a police station. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. What was he thinking poisoning an investigator. Was he that desperate to be by my side. But if he didn't interrupt I'd be dead right now. I know that cop would of shot me and I'd be just some teen on the late night news. We walked to the elevator to leave the building. How did he know though, there was no cameras or windows in the room. "H-How did you know" I asked, man my voice was so shaky. "Nancy left and the investigator didn't fallow. Something wasn't right, integrations don't take that long especially with a willing speaker. Plus I heard you scream so I had to act fast" He heard that. Was he working on coming in before that. 

I heard running foot steps and turned to look down the hall. "The detective says he was poisoned stop those two" the man yelled. Oh shit, they caught it that fast. Of course they did what was I expecting, fuck Sally turned me into a fugitive. He pulled me and we flew into the stair well. He held my hand as he ran up the stairs, probably to keep me fallowing. I can't believe this is happening, I was just going to work and now I was running from the police because some lunatic tried to kill me because he thought I killed someone that Sally killed. My head was spinning at the variables I didn't notice the police until they tried to shot at us. I Screamed as the bullet ran passed us. "Stop right there or the next one won't be a warning" the man shouted. But Sally didn't stop which meant neither did I. Why were we running up instead of down. Don't we wanna leave, we're gonna get trapped. An officer showed up at the top of the stairs and pointed a gun at us. Sally didn't freeze like I did. Instead he threw his prosthetic at the man and hit him square in the face. 

He only had one free hand so instead of grabbing his prosthetic he grabbed the mans gun. "What are you doing" I shouted over the sound of my heart in my ears. "We need this I can worry about my face later you're safety is whats important right now" he turned around and I ducked. He shot the gun and it hit someone. I looked back and just barely saw an officer gripping his shoulder as his buddies held him. Sally grabbed my hand and pulled me to fallow. This was crazy when did we get into a shoot out with the police. This can't be real. I could feel the tears start to run down my face. I don't want this. I want to go home and lay in my bed. I want to bury myself in my blanket and feel the warmth of the shabby mattress. We ran up to the roof and across the building. He guided me to the edge and I pulled my hand out of his. 

"Honey bear it's ok there's a pile of mattresses on the ground, it's the only way we have to jump" I can't take this. He's so murderous and now he's made me an accessory to murder cause he just can't stop loving me. "What did you do" I know I was sobbing. "What I had to, he was gambling with your life and no one hurts my darling" was I really having this conversation, again. "You can't just hurt people Sal" I shouted. "And if I didn't you'd be dead then where would we be" he looked so angry as he yelled back. He took in a deep breath "I'd lose my darling the only thing good in this world, how-how would your mother take it that you died under the 'protection' of the police." He was right if I died she'd have nothing. She would of lost everyone in her life and there's no telling what she would do with all that sadness. The thought caused me to cry even harder. Sal walked up to me and placed a cold hand over my wet cheek. I couldn't help looking into his turquoise eyes. They were so bright in the dark of the night. I'd be dead if it wasn't for him, concussed and laying on the ground motionless, shot in the head and covered up as an accident. He takes care of me in a sick twisted way. Feeds me when I can't feed myself. Watches over me. I'm safe from the world when I'm with him. "Sal" I tried to say, but say what. "It's ok my darling I will always protect you no matter the cost, we'll always be together" stop talking crazy. He smiled and his lips curled. Like a cat, he was my Cheshire cat. Always around, toying with me and smiling all the while. 

I placed my hand over his and leaned down. I don't know why, I just needed him to shut up or maybe I needed to feel his lips on mine. The door opened and I heard the officers start yelling not to do it. But fuck them. I kissed Sal and the sweetness of his tongue mixed with the salt of my tears. It was a bitter combination but an addictive one. I think I'm getting addicted to the taste of him. Suddenly it felt like I was falling. Falling for Sal despite the crazy and the physiological torment. Or maybe I was being swept away by the intensity of him. He broke the kiss and I saw the building beside us. Holy fuck we were actually falling. My stupid mind. We landed on the pile of mattresses then bounced of because of the force. I barely had time to land on my feet before Sal was dragging me behind him as he ran. Definitely getting swept and pushed around in ever direction. 

*****

He snuck us into the basement of my moms hospital. Down in an abandoned part I didn't even know existed. The lights didn't work and it was really cold. But the second I saw a garter I hopped right on. I was so tired. "We should be safe down here no one likes to patrol here" he rummaged around the room. "How do you know" I asked as I looked over at him. He was pulling folded sheets out from a cabinet. How did he know those were there. "I told you darling I lived in this hospital for most of my child hood, I know every hiding spot" I blinked at him. That's right he did say that, that's why he'd never been to the amusement park. Looking his face over I couldn't help wondering what happened, why he had the scares and why he had to wear the prosthetic. Why he spent so long in recovery, what lead to it. 

"Sally...what happened to you" I asked without thinking. He stopped and looked out at the steel wall. "I-I was shot. I-I barely lived thats why I stayed here for so long, I-I was recovering" he held the blankets so tight. He went to cover his face with it. He hated his own face, the memory of it, the shape of it. I wonder what else did he hate about himself. I held out my hand. He looked over then started walking over to me. He turned his head away and placed the sheets in my hand. I threw them over myself for warmth then patted the space beside me. There was only one garter down here so he had to lay with me. He glanced over then shuffled to the garter. He sat down then laid down beside me all while looking away so I didn't see his face. It was kinda ridiculous but I get it, when you think your ugly its hard to imagine someone else doesn't.

I placed my arm over him to stretch the sheet over both of us. He tensed under my hold but held on to my arm anyway. It's not like he was a monster. Well it's not like he looked like a monster. He wasn't like sloth from the goonies, he wasn't dis-formed or dented. He just had red skin in places and white scars over his face. Mostly on his right side which his right eye must have been where the bullet hit or his cheek. He was missing some of his nose and had red skin on top but it still held it's form. His lips had two scars running down and one from the corner of his mouth stretching to his jaw. Kinda like someone had taken a knife to him and sliced him open. He wasn't ugly he was a survivor.

I woke up to my stomach growling. Man I was so hungry. I opened my eyes slowly, trying to take in what I was looking at. Hearts, blue hearts? I blinked as my vision started to clear. No it was Sally, staring at me with heart shaped pupils. Man come on. "Good morning my darling" seriously. I groaned. "You can sleep for a little longer" he told me. But how can I sleep when you're staring at me and my stomachs rumbling. "I can't" I told him. "Are you hungry, I-I'm sorry I don't like you going hungry but we can't risk being seen" he sounded so heart broken. Man he was weird. I laid down on my back cause my hip really hurt and he latched onto my side. Of course he did. He placed his hand over my chest. Normally I'd like the cold feeling but I was pretty chilly here so it wasn't welcomed. 

The fact that I sometimes think his touch is welcoming alarms me. Last night I really did think for a second that I was falling for Sal but we were actually falling. Still. It was crazy and I knew I should never kiss him. There was just something so addictive about the way he tastes and I can't tell why. I can't stay here with him I need to leave and not just cause I'm hungry but because he's the fugitive I'm just a victim. He's the one that killed the mugger and the cop and threw me off a building. He threw me off a fucking building. I turned over and got up. "Larry where you going" he asked. "Anywhere else" I answered and got up to leave. "Home maybe to just clean I've been stuck in these clothes for three days" I walked over to the door. "Wait I can get you clothes just be patient" he got off the garter as well. "We can't stay in here forever" I told him as I reached for the door. "Ah wait darling don't open that please wait an hour" I wasn't gonna stay cooped up anymore. I opened the door and there was a doctor down the hall. He spotted me right away. Shit should of listened to Sally.


	13. So that's your dad

I'd say we ran but we didn't get very far and I wouldn't let Sal cut anyone. So the cops caught us pretty quick and we were arrested and shoved in a holding room. Great if I wasn't so desperate to get away from Sal we would still be hiding and not in a death trap. The door opened and I got ready to greet the officer. Sal put his hand over my mouth though "Don't say a word" he whispered in my ear. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms like some thug. "Do you know the damage you two have caused shooting an officer, breaking another officers nose and poisoning a detective" the cop threw a folder down on the table. "I want my lawyer" Sal stared the man down. "No his lawyer is Henry Fisher" a cop off to the side said. "Fuck really no" the man in front of us said. Just what kind of guy is this man if the whole police force hated him. "Are you denying me my rights, huh come to think of it if you called him when we were arrested which you are suppose to do when taking minors into custody he should be here already unless you didn't fallow protocol" he knows law. The cops all looked stunned and a little nervous. A cop quickly left the room. "We called" the man said. "Oh so you won't mind him checking the arrest time then so its close to the call hes receiving" the cop looked pissed. He turned and went to leave the room. The door hadn't closed all the way and we heard him scream "Fucking hate Fisher's." Wow s-so you're dads a lawyer" I asked. "Uh yes b-but as much as I'd love to hear your sweet voice darling it's in our best interest to not talk until he gets here" I'll take his word for it. He's smart after all and his eyes look normal so I know he's sane at the moment.

Didn't take long for the door to open again and a man dressed in a dark blue suit walked in. I knew he was Sal's dad right away from the whiting blue hair. But other then that they didn't look so alike. Except the man did have blue eyes but they were icey blue almost white. He looked at me and I felt my whole body freeze over. He looked at Sally and I noticed he wasn't looking at the man. "Sal" he smiled warmly but his eyes they just looked so cold. "You don't call you don't write then out of no where I hear you're in trouble with the police...oh relax the rooms not monitored it's solid wood in here and the windows are blindfolded." I looked around and ya all the blinds were closed even the ones on the door. "Sorry did I take you away from an important case" Sal sounded so bitter. Did he hate his dad.

"Hahaha maybe but for my son anything or is it daughter this week so hard to tell sometimes" the man sat back in the chair across from us. "Did you have time to check the arrest time" Sal ignored the question. "Yes very interesting actually the whole situation seems interesting. Wanna hear it. According to reports they're saying the detective was showing surveillance footage when Fisher jr walked in with a pot of tea. The detective drank then began gagging, in his fit he threw the trey then fell to the floor. Thats when officers came in and you two ran out. Trying to escape by elevator got caught and ran into the stair well. Ignored warning shots one threw a mask at an officer breaking his nose and stealing his gun then proceeded to shoot another officer with said gun then both jump off the roof and onto a pile of mattresses where they ran"

he recited. I blushed at the memory cause we didn't jump, I kissed him and he pushed us off. I looked over at Sal. "So anything to confess" the man asked. "About" Sal asked back. But they both sounded knowing like they knew what the topic was before it was even mentioned. "They said you poisoned him but they annualized the tea and found nothing but then again Aconitum anthora wouldn't show up in an analysis less you were looking for it. Such a unique flower reminds me of the yellow wolfs-bane you have in you're green house" was that it Sal feed him a poisons plant. "I have lots of yellow flowers" he commented. "Yes so many lovely flowers" they stared at eachother for a moment and it was so intense. I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. "The detective was gonna shoot me" I blurted breaking their staring contest. "He-he was convinced I knew something about this mugger named Luka's cause there was a tap of the guy pushing me in an ally and he loaded his gun with one bullet and, and kept shooting" I was panting at the end. The memory of it was so terrifying, if Sal had been a second later I'd be dead.

Fuck without him I would be dead and that scares me. Sally placed a hand on my back. "I'm so sorry son forgive me I forgot about your place in all this" the man sounded so soft and it weirdly made me feel worse. I was shaking at the memory. Fuck I was gonna start crying. "It's ok why don't you tell me what happened" he asked and I looked at Sal. How much could I tell this man. "Uh w-we were walking to my work when the police picked us up. Th-They told us to wait and I went in alone and he-he told me oh god." I was having a hard time remembering. "It's ok take your time" this was so bizarre this man was suspicious of his son and now he was being caring with me. "He-he was telling me Lucas had connections that hired the police to find him and that he was sure Lucas wasn't missing I-Implying he was dead" I tried to keep my voice steady. "Is Lucas dead" the man asked. I was gonna answer but Sal beat me to it. "I don't recall, last I saw he was walking only live men walk" the man smiled at his sons answer. "The right amount of sass for court sorry go on" just what kind of relationship did these two have. Did this man know about Sal's crimes.

"Ah he-he was taking apart his gun then p-put it together and p-put a bullet in it then shot it at me. H-he wanted to play Russian rullet....He-he was down to the last chamber and was gonna kill me" for some reason I put a hand on my throat. He would of shot my head but my dream kept coming back to my mind. "It's ok darling shh everything will be ok" I heard Sal whisper. He rested his head on me and stroked my back. It did make me feel a little better but this was also all his fault. "Alright he played rullet with your life then over reacted to non poisoned tea" he winked at us like he knew it was poisoned. "Then you told Sal what happened and you both tried to leave feeling unsafe in a police station. The officers made an attempt of arrest and you ran scared. they started shooting at you and you both went into a defensive mode, taking a gun as desperation cause you were two kids being chased for god knows what. Scared and desperate to be home safe. You were cornered and jumped to safety then ran to get away from the officers am I right" all I could do was nod at him. 

"Alright give me an hour" he said then went to leave the room. "Oh and Sal I suggest you burn something yellow" with that he left the room. Did he know about his son did he just want to cover up any evidence. what was their relationship. Sal stood up and I didn't feel ready to leave but I didn't want to stay here anymore. "What me to take you home" he asked. I wanted to go home and curl up in my bed but it's my moms day off and I know we're gonna fight about this. I'm to exhausted to handle it and when I get mad I say really horrible things. I don't wanna do that. "Um I-I can't face my mom right now" was all I could say. My mind was still swimming, trying to process everything. "Would you like to come over, I can make you pastries of any kind or tarts" of course he can make sweets, he is sweet. I shook my head at that thought. "I...sure" not gonna lie I'm really curious to see where he comes from. Where he lives and how he lives. I stood up and we left the room. 

We went to the front desk of the police station to grab our things. My phone which was dead, my wallet and keys. Sal's prosthetic, a locket I didn't know he had, keys, phone. No knife so I guess he didn't have it on him today or yesterday. We took our things and I fallowed him to the bus stop. I remember Robert saying he fallowed Sal to the super center which was pretty far. But he said he was close. I fallowed him on the bus and we rode it for awhile. Is this the way he takes from my place, how much is he spending on bus tickets just to come see me. Using two a day means your spending at least $50 biweekly and I don't think he has a job. But his dad is a lawyer so maybe he's rich. tch rich people. 

We got off by the super center. So he did live up here. I fallowed him as he walked down the street, off the main road and down a dead end lane. He turned to this giant fucking house. Like it's way bigger then mine when I use to live in a house. He had a black gate over his yard which was full of flowers. Some I knew and some I didn't, there was even a small tree in the front that honestly kinda smelt like a Christmas forest. He unlocked the door and I fallowed him inside. Not gonna lie the entrance hall looked kinda depressing. It was grey like oh whats the color not cool grey but oh its on the tip of my tongue. Starts with an S. Whatever I took off my shoes and placed them beside Sal's. I stepped into the house. There wasn't any pictures in the hall which I guess is kinda weird. Looking over so far it just didn't feel like a home. I walked by a door way which lead into this big room with a chair positioned at the window and shelves of books and binders lined the wall. Actually as I looked it over it looked like the room was divided. 

In the back there was this long desk full of stacks of paper and a high grade laptop set up. beside it was the shelves with binders on it. On the other side near the front was the shelves of actual books and dvds as well as some binders. There were plants on that side of the room and a smaller desk centered. It had a can of pencils and a glass of water and a magnifying glass on it. It was weird it was like that chair was the divider of the room. I turned back into the hall. It just kept going all the way to the back of the house where a green door stood. It was the only thing with color I saw so far. I turned to the right and walked into the other room. I stepped in and noticed right away the couch set in front of a basic flat screen. I mean me and mom don't have a flat screen we got a standing tv that's kinda small. But it works for us. There was a sliding door across the way and I saw more bushes of flowers and potted plants inside. He was a herbologist I kept hearing. I looked around, passed the dinning table in the middle of the room. At the back was a pretty sizable kitchen with a brown color scheme and grey marble counters. This whole room was kinda brown. Sometimes I hate being artistic I notice colors more then objects. 

Sal was already in the kitchen preparing something. Man didn't he wanna change first. That thought lead me to look down at myself. I was still in my uniform from three days ago and it felt gross. "Uh hey" I started was I really gonna ask to take a shower how would that help I'd be putting on the same dirty cloths. Plus bathing at someone elses house was kinda weird especially when that person is your stalker. He looked over at me "Ah nothing never mind" I tried to play it off. "Do you wanna shower, I know you said you'd been wearing that for three days, I have some clothes you can wear" ok that was funny cause he was super small compared to me so nothing he could have could fit me. "Heh what do you like have some of my clothes I can wear hahaha..... seriously" he just stared at me instead of answering. Motherfucker he's been stealing my clothes. I mean theorizing is one thing but to actually find it out. Bet he has my towel to. "You got my towel" I asked bitterly. "Its folded in my bottom drawer" not even trying to cover it up. 

"A-and you're clothes are in the bottom two I-If you want um to change y-your underwear I-I have a pair in my top drawer" why was he acting so shy all of a sudden. His phone went off and he looked at it. "I- excuse me I have to take care of something in the garden" he walked out of the kitchen and made his way to the sliding door. Man what a way to doge the discussion. Whatever guess Its fine cause I'm taking my clothes back. and its nice knowing I don't have to wear this uniform anymore. "The showers up stairs the first door to the left and mines the last door" he opened the sliding door and left. Fine. I walked out of the room and down the hall. I stopped at the green door. I kinda wanted to know what was in there. But I'm not a snoop. I walked up the stairs and man the upstairs somehow felt more depressing then the main floor. Again there was nothing on the walls it just didn't looked lived in. I was met with a grey door once I got to the top, probably his dads room. I turned to the room he said was the bathroom. I opened it. I don't know what I was expecting honestly, it was big sure but pretty standard. For rich I guess. 

I opened it to see a wall counter that stretched till the wall came out. A strip of wall divided the counter and the bath tub which seriously had Jacuzzi jets in it. Hmm its so fancy. But it didn't look personal. There was two sinks in the counter with a tooth brush at both, tube of tooth paste and a folded wash cloth. It was divided like looking at single housing forced to merge. I left to go grab my shit. I went to the last door at the end and opened it. Expecting the worst like pictures of me coating the walls. Or photoshopped dates and voodoo dolls everywhere. But none of that. I walked in to a pink room, pink? it was neat and tidy inside with a bed centered and set with the head against the wall. A closet beside the door and a white bunny face shaped rug on the wood floor. It weirdly made my heart flutter as I looked at it cause it was so cute. There was a shelf across from the bed full of stuff. Little figurins and hand sized stuffed animals. Manga and comic books. Puzzles like alot of puzzles and pff paint with diamond kits. Of course. 

On the top of the shelf was a lot of antique things. A frilly old wedding carriage with two doves inside, an old square clock with glass paint and paint brushes on it to create a scene. A carousal in a glass dome. I looked up, it was the only room in the house with something on the walls. I classic poster of get scared's album demons sat above the shelf. I walked to the other side of the room where his dresser sat, there were all kinds of candles on top and a purple bottle. I picked up the bottle and sprayed it at the curtain beside the dresser. Immediately I recognized the smell. It was what Sal smelt like under the laundry detergent. So that's why he smelt so sweet it was perfume. Was I expecting something elts like no one smells like that naturally. 

I set the perfume down and noticed a photo. An actual fucking framed photo. I picked it up and immediately I knew it was Sal's mom. Even though she was blond and had almost white eyes cause of how light blue they were it was easy to tell. She had the same bone structure. The same button nose, same giant eyes, same curl to her mouth just not as extreme as Sal's Cheshire cat smile. Same cheeks and chin. If he was blond he'd look just like his mom just like I look like mine. I Set the picture down ok I've fucked around enough and I aint no snoop so he said bottom drawer right. 

I opened the bottom drawer and, mother fuck my pajamas and are those the jogging pants I let him barrow. And my system of the down shirt. The fuck this whole drawer was nothing but my shit. Did he not keep clothes in his own drawer. I grabbed my jogging pants and band tee and towel. I set it on his bed. That's when I noticed beside his bed was the canvas he bought and painters kit. Both were unopened. Didn't he like buy those weeks ago. Was he waiting for inspiration cause honestly same. I turned back to the dresser. He said he had some of my underwear to. I opened the top drawer and didn't even see my underwear. I was met with a verity of frills and lacy bright colored panties. Oh god it was his underwear drawer. Of course he'd set my underwear in the underwear drawer. Fuck he's got so many cute pairs. Some with strips some with words on them some with bunny prints. God he had one with a bunny tail on the back. Fucking close it just close it forget changing your underwear. But I was already this far so I tried to find mine. 

It was folded up so neatly in the back and I reached in to grab it. But accidentally pulled out the strawberry patterned one with it. Oh crap put it back but his underwear was so neatly folded I know I wouldn't be able to fold it like that and he'd know I touched his panties. There's no telling how he'll react to that he might try to pin me down or get the wrong idea. What do I do. Well if your Larry fucking Johnson you do the stupid thing and pocket the pair then grab your shit and hurry to the bathroom before anyone becomes the wiser. I can't believe I did that. I actually stole his fucking panties cause I was to embarrassed about him thinking I touched them. Is this any better what if he finds out I took them. And what was I gonna do keep them till I die how would I slip it in his laundry. He's so neat and catalogs his shit I'm sure. If I sneak it in his bag or something he'll definitely know someone stole it and might go on a murder spree if he thinks its anyone but me. Fuck what did I do. 

After my very unenjoyable shower I changed and went down stairs. I have to leave just fucking go, I got some clothes now I can just fucking go home. I'll deal with my mom anything is better then this. I rush to the front hall as sneaky as I could. Which my clumsy ass bumped into the wooden stand that held a key bowl. Fuck. "Darling" I heard from the living room. Shit, shit, shit could I just like throw my shoes on and book it. "There you are, are you leaving let me walk you home" fucking no. "Ah no thats ok I-I can go on my own thanks" I tried not to let my voice crack. "Let me pack you some tarts then before you go and send you off with some chocolate tea" he headed into the living room. 

Chocolate tea? that was a thing, was chocolate an herb I thought it was a chemical concoction like cheetos. I walked back into the house and stepped into the living room. He was grabbing stuff from the kitchen and I saw the spread he laid out on the dinning table. A really cute blue tea set sat on the table with two cups on small plates and a three piece plate set with different tarts on it, fruit tarts, butter tarts, and oh wait those were macadamia cookies, my favorite. It was quite the spread. I looked over at him as he walked over to the table with a thermos and tuple wear. "Th-this is kinda fancy" I was trying to complement but I think I sounded like an ass. "Oh ya guess I went a little overboard, just...don't really get um visitors" he started placing tarts in the plastic bowl. "Ah come on I'm sure people come over all the time especially if you tidy up like this" why did everything sound terrible. 

"Thank you but no....I've never had someone over before just dads sports friends" he started pouring the tea. "N-not even Ash she says you guys are friends" he tightened the lid then looked at me. "Can you really call us friends" he spoke kinda darkly. "Let me get you a bag for everything" he turned around and went back to the kitchen. Fuck why did I feel so bad. In his mind he didn't have friends and I guess when you try to murder someone you kinda stop being friends. He bagged everything up and I placed my dirty clothes in the bag. He walked me to the door and I put on my shoes. "Oh here you can have my transfer it should still work" he handed me the paper. "Thanks" I took it then left the house. He waved me off and everything about it was depressing. I could see him watching me as I walked to the bus stop to get on the bus. But when I got on I stopped seeing his shadow. 

So that's how he lives. Alone. No friends and separated from his dad. There was nothing in the house that screamed a mothers touch or anything that didn't seem like his or his dads. No pictures on the wall, no toys of any kind or evidence of a childhood. But I guess he didn't get to have one. Even now it looked like he was alone. I couldn't help crying a little on the bus. It was so sad. I know you shouldn't feel bad for your stalker but I can't help it. No matter how hard I try I'm empathetic at heart. I got home and mom started in the second I walked in the door. But not the way I thought she would. She ran at me and hugged me so tight. "Oh my chico dulce I'm so glad you're ok I've been so worried" she sounded like she was crying. "I'm ok" I tried to tell her but my voice was lost. "I heard what happened on the news and I couldn't believe my boy would do that. I know you fight and I know you have your reasons even If I'm against it but you could never hurt the innocent not like they were saying. I know your a good boy" I just fucking dropped ok. I let go of the bag and just held her. Cause I didn't think I was good. I was convinced I was some how worse then this town. 

I get attacked so fucking much it just doesn't seem real. Like this is my fucking life and I lived through all that shit. "It's ok let it out" she told me and it somehow made me cry harder. "I-I think I'm going crazy mom I-I can't believe in my life and, and I can't figure out the shit in my head. There's just so much and I'm dealing with it all alone" she stroked my hair. "You're not alone, I know it seems like it sometimes but I'm here and I'm not going to leave you not matter what" they were strong words. Words we had to tell eachother sometimes because we both are hurting. I held her like my life depended on it. Cause she's all I have, she's the last shred of sanity I have in my crazy life and I'm never letting her go. I need her.


	14. How am I suppose to feel

I've been numb lately. It's like after all the fear and anger I kinda just shut off. Going about my day's on auto pilot as my mind goes into hyper drive. I know whats going on vaguely. I know Robert was worried about me and then laughed at how stupid it all was. I know Maple hugged me and I pushed her away telling her I didn't want her getting hurt. Cause if she got to close Sal would kill her. I couldn't even find energy to be mad about it. I just laid in the grass and stared at him. He wanted to feed me but I wasn't hungry. I don't think I could eat if I wanted to. I just didn't have the energy for it. He tried to pass me some rose tea but I pushed it away. Not really caring that everyone was staring at me. But I didn't want anything I just wanted to lay in myself and watch the world go by. 

He seemed so worried, he was the only one. He placed his hand over mine and I just stared at it, feeling the cool sensation run over my hand and up my arm. He was always cold. Why. "Hey Sal" I started. "What makes a person cold to the touch" he went to remove his hand but I gripped him. I didn't want to lose the feeling. I was over heating again and it felt nice. "A-Ah well anemia is a-a reason. Um wh-which is what I have. My body doesn't make enough red blood cells to carry oxygen through out so my circulation isn't to good" Anemia isn't that like when your super skinny and can't stop vomiting. No offence but Sal's not a skinny dude. I mean he is in places but he's not a skeleton. I couldn't ask anything elts my voice just wouldn't start. There was so much about him. Crazy, sweet, devoted, lonely, possessive, shy, cute, scary. It was like he was two people in one and I don't know how to feel about it anymore. 

I think I woke up on a day we played inside, it was dodge ball and I was the first one out. I sat on the bench the whole time watching Sal. I think that's all I've been doing lately is watching him. Like he was a puzzle I couldn't put together. Class ended and I just fallowed Robert without thinking. We went to sit down in the grass and Ash was staring at me kinda odd. "Uh forget something" she said. I glanced down and saw I was still in my gym clothes. "Oh ya" I said then went to turn around. "You ok man, look I know we've been kinda jerks lately but we're here for you" Robert tried to offer. "You can't help me with this" and it was true they couldn't. Even if they did believe me that Sal's a murder what could they do. He already got off and cleared of suspicion because of his dad. The guy was good at his job. Got two cops fired and one suspended for what happened. Say kids were traumatized and how is anyone suppose to trust the cops when they try to frame two kids. Now the whole department had to do a psa about how they made a mistake and are sorry. But they're just sorry they got caught. But Sal did try to kill someone even if that detective was trying to kill me. 

I'm glad and I feel guilty for being glad. I'm tired of this turmoil and constantly going over things in my head. I wish I could be morel less like Sal then maybe I wouldn't be so scared and stressed. I opened the door to the change room and heard a deep scream from inside. The fuck. I ran in as voices echoed against the walls. "Shit he really is a freak" "Whatever still got a mouth don't he" I didn't like the sound of that. I turned the corner and everyone turned to me. There were five guys from our mix class. One pulling on blue locks, one holding that familiar prosthetic and two holding Sal down. Holding him down. Talking about his mouth. Five guys. "Sh-shit Johnson" someone said and I blacked out. I know I ran and I know I punched and was punched. But for the most part I blacked out. I came to when someone shoved me into the lockers. 

I blinked as my mind came back from wherever the fuck it was. Someone had ran passed me to leave that's why I was knocked into the lockers. I took a step forward and really took in the scene. One of the guys was still hanging around, Bruce? he didn't have a scratch on him but he was getting up off the floor. So was Sal and I saw something gleam. Shit a knife maybe. I don't know I just ran in front of the guy as Sal ran at him. He did have a knife and it touched me. But I guess he was clear headed cause it just barely scratched me. I was shaking cause holy fuck he had a knife and was gonna stab the guy. I covered my side as it started bleeding. "Wh-what are you doing" I stammered out as I looked at him. He looked so pissed and I guess he's allowed. I don't know what would of happened if I didn't forget to change. 

"Out of the way Larry" he sounded so dark. Gripping the knife so hard. "Why are you still here" I whispered at Bruce. The guy bolted and ran down the rows of lockers. Sal turned to go fallow and I grabbed his arm. "You can't kill people Sal you can't hurt them" I yelled trying to make it clear that this was not ok. He dropped the knife then ripped his hand out of mine. "They hurt me" he shouted at me. He was started to cry "They hurt me damn it they we-were damn it I know your not stupid you knew what they were gonna do and I was helpless to stop them" I did know what they were gonna do and I'm so sorry but murder is not the way to handle it. "I-I know when you get mad you say really mean things but-but I never thought that I didn't matter to you." he sobbed out and my heart broke at the words. "I'm sorry p-please don't hate me like this I'll do whatever you need please, please D-darling. I love you." 

I was gonna cry. Watching him shake and beg like that was tearing me apart. I don't ever wanna make him cry again. I grabbed him and just held him so close. Holding the back of his head and wrapping a hand over his back. He gripped my shirt as he hiccuped. "Don't talk like that please, you shouldn't have to beg you should be able to just be who you are" he cried into my shoulder. "Y-you make me crazy sometimes I don't know what I'm doing" I had to laugh. I couldn't help it cause It's true I make him crazy, I make him insane. His love for me drives him to do the unthinkable. I stood up and just laughed then I guess it changed to crying cause I suddenly felt so fucking sad. He was trying so hard and I just kept pushing him away cause he didn't fit in my view of lawful. I was losing it wanting him to be locked up and wanting him to find someone who reciprocated I don't know where my mind was. And why didn't I reciprocate, because he stalks me and breaks into my house to feed me. It was like everything he did was a balanced mix of sweet and crazy and went against my morels.

"Darling are you ok" he placed a hand on my burning cheek. I think I'm snapping, going crazy myself and I can't handle everything. "It's alright my love I'm right here for you. I will always be here for you" shut up, you're making it worse. I slammed my lips against his before he could start talking again. Everything he said either scared me, hurt my empathetic heart, or made me flutter and I couldn't handle any of it. It took him a second cause it really was out of no where but he did kiss back. Melting into my touch and tilting back so I could taste him. Taste that sweet flavor that made me lose myself. I moved my hand to the back of his neck, feeling the soft skin under my fingers. He was so soft, everywhere. It felt like I was falling, like he had pushed me off a building again and I was falling into him. I quickly pulled back, scared for a second that I was falling. But I wasn't I was still standing, holding him close to me. I blinked as he stared at me with those love sick eyes of his. Heart shaped pupils blown so wide. He blushed a light pink and smiled. Fuck I really did make him crazy. What was I doing constantly pushing him away then doing shit like this. No wonder he was all over the place I was giving him mixed signals. 

He hugged me, and nuzzled his face in my chest. "Hmm I hear your heart beating, Is it for me" he asked. How could I answer. Say No made me want to cry and hold him closer. Saying yes made me feel trapped. I just placed my hands on his shoulders. "I have to get changed" I told him. He stepped back still smiling. "Alright, me to" his eyes suddenly changed, they opened wide and the hearts seemed to disappear. He quickly lifted my shirt at the side and checked my wound. "Oh darling I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you" he started. I guess he has three sides. Crazy, love sick, normal and they all kinda bleed into eachother. "Ah it's ok I jumped in front" even if you were the one charging with a knife. He sat me down and ran off somewhere in the locker room. He came back with his bag then set it down. That Marry Poppins back what was he gonna pull out a hospital. No a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and a patch. He cleaned up my wound and fucking ya that hurt. He patched me up rather quick. "Few glad it wasn't deep" did he just say few. Like audibly made spoke the noise you make when you wipe your forehead. I smiled cause ya it was kinda funny in a ridiculous sort of way. 

I got changed on the opposite side of the room then Sal. Once I was done I just stared at my bag. I don't know why I just zoned out. "Um p-peeking over" I heard and looked over at Sal as he stepped into view. "Are you going to eat today" he asked me and I sighed. Stop being nice to me. "Stop giving me gifts Sal" I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder. "Making you meals isn't a gift it's a right you should have but the fucking economy is so messed up that food has become a privilege which is so fucking messed up" he got right feisty. Oh ya he was an activist. why did I forget that. "Alright calm down I'll eat your food" I smiled cause ya it was funny and kinda nice to see him have an actual personality. 

I don't think Sally has a mom. He makes everything from scratch, basically lives in the kitchen even when he's at my place. Has high standards for cleaning, is super responsible and takes care of others and things. Plus when I went through his house I didn't see anything belonging to a woman or evidence that someone other then him and his dad lived there. There were no photos except in his room and the picture he had looked really old. I wonder what happened. Did she just take off like my dad or did she die. It's not something you ask someone, already felt bad for asking him about his face. Ahhhhh I wish my brain would shut the fuck up long enough for me to fall asleep. But it won't Sally's just always on my mind. From the blood on his hands to the curve of his mouth. I can't get it out of my mind. Can't get the taste of his tongue out of my mouth since I kissed him earlier. even though I ate his lunch and had lasagna, his taste was still on my tongue. His touch still on my face, the cold feeling lingering all day.

Why can't I get him out of my head. Before it felt like I was in a constantly state of panic, watching my shoulder for him and wondering if he was around the next corner. But now it was like I obsessed so much that I can't get him off my brain. Even as I closed my eyes and started to drift off I dreampt about him. Usually my dreams of him are horrific but this time it was different. We were in the change room and at first all I saw was red. Cause of those perfect shorts he wears in gym class that perfectly shape his ass. But they were pulled down and he was bent over. Willingly. Just letting me slid into him so deep. He moaned and smiled at the feeling, that glorious mouth letting out so many different noises while I pound into him. He was saying such filthy things, please and chanting my name. I wanted to cum in him just to see how he'd react. But I woke up with a jolt. 

Shit did I really just dream that. Was he so deep in my mind I was thinking sexual things about him. I mean I've seen him naked twice, massaged his back and heard all those noises, stole his fucking underwear. It was bound to happen sooner or later, fucking hormonal mind. So ya I woke up stuck to my bed and had to remove my sheets. How am I suppose to sleep now, I'm not. I threw on my jogging pants and made my way to the living room. Guess my day starts now. I sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. The news as always. Nothing elts was on tv except some god awful morning shows. I watched the morning crew report while they cracked jokes on set. I dug my hand into my pocket and felt really soft fabric. That wasn't the inside of my pocket these pants were scratchy. But what I was feeling was really soft like Sally soft. Pfff. Wait.

I pulled my pocket out and yep, I forgot it was there. His fucking strawberry panties. The ones he wore when I walked in on him in the change room. He kept saying shit like 'I'm not ready' even the memory made me blush. Who talks like that 'I'm not ready'. I played with the underwear and stupid me wondered do they smell as fresh as him. I blame sleep deprived brain but I brought the underwear to my nose and sniffed. They did smell like him, detergent and his perfume. No dick sweat what so ever. They were so clean so white and frilly like they were brand new. Cute little strawberry's all over. Ok now I felt like a creep. But I couldn't help taking in one last inhale. I don't know why but just the smell of him was warming me and calming my brain a little, it didn't feel so depressing inside. 

"Oh darling you're already awake" shit. Why. I fucking screamed at the sound of Sal's voice and threw myself onto the table. I meant to turn around and hide the panties but I tripped and fell onto the table. Ow. I groaned then shoved my hand under me and punched myself in the chest. Double ow. "Oh gosh are you ok I didn't mean to scare you" he walked over to me. Please don't look. "W-Why are you here" I asked. "I came to make breakfast and your lunch" of course. "How did you get in" he didn't come in through the front door that was for sure. "O-oh I don't know if I should tell you" he sounded shy. It was to early for this. I rolled over and slid off the table trying to hide his panties from him. He walked around the couch and I quickly shoved the pair in my pocket. He stopped suddenly and I froze. Did he see them. But it was clear he was staring at the tv. I looked over to see them doing an interview with a politician. Always a politician. They were doing a report on a mass shooting, always a mass shooting anymore. The man was stammering like crazy as he tried to sympathies with the community then like gave up. Just straight up sighed and went 'anyway' then started reading off statistics. 

Sally started laughing. A deep baffled laugh "Did-did he just give up on the news, just was like whatever" he continued to laugh. It was kinda funny like what was that guy thinking. "Man when politicians get tired of faking it" he continued to walk away. He sounded so cynical it was weird. Like I know he's probably not a positive person, who is. But it was weird hearing him sound cynical. "That's cynical of you" I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "Hmm ya I guess it is sorry darling to dark of a topic to start so early in the morning" he opened the fridge and started taking things out. Ya it was a dark topic to start off the morning, politicians and the economy. Society, just all corrupt and fucked. Augh. "So why are you up" he asked me and I heated up. I couldn't tell him the reason. Even if he was a normal person I couldn't tell him. "Uh just couldn't sleep" which was true. He looked at me and I couldn't tell what face he was making under the mask and from the distance. "Have you thought about menatonion pills, personally I'm not one for pills but my remedy's don't seem to be helping" remedy's? 

"Ah what" I asked. "The food and tea, I've been trying to give you healthy organic foods to help regulate your energy as well as some different home blend teas to raise your serotonin if you will to in rich your days and hopefully calm you enough to sleep at night. Doesn't seem to be helping though" he seemed at a loss. W-was he experimenting on me. What the fuck. I couldn't help smiling at that. "So you've been trying to increase....my happiness, what about the rose tea trying to make me fall in love" I teased. He actually rolled his eye at me. Like gave me sass. "That's a myth there's no plant that can make you fall in love just increase happiness and allow for other things to stir from it like fondness, creativity, decrease in agrability think I'm mixing things wrong....Besides w-when you do fall in love with me it won't be because of some flower It will be because you love me for me" oh its so cute. Even though he broken in he's so adorable not wanting to drug me but actually be himself and have me fall for him that way. Plus he was really blushy as he fixed together something. Probably my lunch. 

So he's not so bad. I got over my embarrassment quick and turned off the tv to talk to him. We've never had an actual conversation together so I decided to play twenty questions with him. "Play a game with me" I asked. "I love games" ok so ya that should of been obvious since he's competitive. Of course I had burning questions, does your dad know what you do in the dark. What happened to me when I was stoned off my ass. How did he set fire to the school. What happened to Lucas's body. But I had to start slow and something told me he'd only answer one of those. 

"Twenty questions....whats your favorite color" he looked at me kinda smugly I think. "You've seen my room" he almost sang. "Pink?" I asked. "And your's is red" how the-never mind stalker right. "Favorite tv show" I began."Archer" I had to laugh cause what the fuck I was not expecting that. "Archer" I asked. It was an animation comedy about isis and assassins that were bad at their job. "Have you seen season six Pam was so cocained it was nothing but them fucking around" he chuckled. "They're always just fucking around on that show" that was weird. "You'rs is that 70's show" man let me answer damn it. Whatever this is about me learning about him. "Favorite movie" I tried. "Hmm a tie between heather's or play misty" I knew heather's, everyone knew heather's. But misty. Whatever I'll look into it later. "Um I'm guessing you like to read so favorite book" I asked before he could answer my favorite movie. Bill and teds bogus advebture, classic. "Hmm i-it use to be thirteen reasons, but after the Netflix original I hated it....I'm trying to find a new book. Something like perks but not where someones depression is originated form rape" he rambled then shook his head. "And yours is geronimo right" he seemed so pleased. But I haven't liked Geronimo since I was ten. It was just the last book I read, last thing I read with my dad. "It's not" he said. I shook my head. "No of course not that's stupid" he belittled the idea. "It's cool I don't read so I don't have a favorite, but ya know a scardy cat mouse that solved crimes pretty funny" I tried to make him feel better. Why though. Why did I want to make him feel better. Why was he sad he got it wrong. 

I stopped. I just felt kinda sad now. Thinking about my dad and all the good times we use to have. It just made no sense why he left and I think thats what hurts us the most. There was no note just the classic 'I'm going to the store' and he never came back. I laid my head on the dining table as I looked out the window. The sun was coming up but it was grey. Threatening to rain. He set a plate down in front of me, I wondered how long I had zoned out for cause the sky was much brighter. "I'm sorry Larry I'll do my best to make you smile today" he had removed his prosthetic at some point so I got to see that genuine smile. How his lips curled like a cat. So cute. I smiled back, looking at him tiredly. I sat up and pulled the plate to me. He set down a glass of a fruit smoothie? "I-its full of vitamins and calcium also taste really sweet" he stammered. "Pff everything you make taste sweet even meat like how" I took the drink and took a sip. Yep sweet. He was blushing a deep red as he turned away to go back to the kitchen. 

We were silent as we made our way to school. I just didn't feel like talking and Sal's a quiet dude. But it's how we always walk to school so why did today feel so different. Why wasn't I bothered as much by his steps. Was I just excepting that this is my life instead of being afraid of it. I don't know which is worse, fear or defeat. We walked up the hill and went right inside which students were either palin around the scortched locker room with no lockers or in class already. Grey days always kept people inside. Sal fallowed me to my class but stopped outside the door. Usually I just walk in but today I turned to him. "Bye?" I asked cause even I didn't know what I was doing. He seemed surprised then threw himself at me. "Ah o-ok" I told him feeling embarrassed for being hugged in the hall. He let go and some how I knew he was smiling under the mask. "See you at gym my darling" he rushed off after that. I saw why his ears were so red. 

What was I doing. This is the exact thing I was talking about. Being nice to him then yelling at him and acting coldly. Making him crazy. Being crazy myself. I blame the lack of sleep. The sky darkened and it began to rain. Student's started getting up to look outside. Man I hate this dump ass class, they get so distracted and excited over the smallest things. I took the opportunity to take out my phone and of course twenty messages from Sal. Maybe I should answer some of these some time. I texted him about the idiots in my class and he texted back about how the kids in his glass have their noses so far in books they forgot what rain looked like so they were all standing by the windows. People are weird. "Hey you think gym will get canceled" Robert asked from in front of me. "Fat chance" I told him and put my phone away. "Its kinda gloomy today bet you everyone's feeling like you" he didn't smile. "I know that's kinda mean but like you've been really I don't know lost" I just exhaled as I laid my arms and head on my desk. "Why don't we invite the group down and play some board games, yall know Chugs got candy land on him at all times" I just hummed at that. 

"How is Chug kinda feel like I don't know whats going on with people anymore" I admitted. "Well he still hasn't put the moves on Maple if that's what you mean. Still pining I'm afraid. Guess you'll ask about Ash next, so like a bit ago she got her purse grabbed and tried to fight the guy to keep it saying shit like her pads were in there and she needed them cause she was on her period. Well the dude bolted after that. Pissed her off but also she got scared. She's been taking self defense classes with my mom, think I might as well once my leg heals. Was told I got like another month and a half in this thing before they take it off and check the bone. Which is gonna suck going to the music festival with this" he told. 

Oh ya that was this weekend wasn't it. Man was it really may already. Seems just yesterday I met Sal and proceeded to freak the fuck out. Now I guess I didn't have the energy to freak out as bad or often. "You going" he asked me. "Ya guess I'm taking Sal" he kinda glared at me. "Dude whats your problem" he asked as calm as he could but it didn't come out calm. "About Sal, I told you he murdered a dude, cut open the mugger that hit me in the head then we got dragged into the police station cause some detective thought I killed him cause there was footage of him pushing me in an ally. Then the ass hole played russian rullet with my life and tried to shoot me. Sal poisoned him don't ask me how I don't know. Not like you believe me anyway. His dad got us out of the legal trouble though hes like a really good lawyer. Hung out at his place, it was super depressing I don't think he thinks he has friends, don't think anyone's been over before either. Went home cried with my mom then just sat in myself contemplating my life. What lead me to hear. How did I wind up like this. What makes Sal so crazy. I do I make him crazy cause I push him away then kiss him when I want and that's so not fair. I don't wanna toy with his feelings and then I wonder why don't I love him and I remember because he killed someone and injured you and pushed Ash and slashed Todd. All because you were close to me and he's possessive he wants me all to himself." Robert didn't say anything. He just looked at me. But really what was he gonna say to all that. "Oh wow that's a...lot of bs" that I guess. "Ya whatever man you asked" he was quiet. He did ask sorry he can't believe it. 

Gym wasn't cancelled but no one was up for playing. We all got changed in the change room, except Sal who had already changed. "Hey" someone said to me as I put on my gym shoes. I looked up to see Bruce standing by me. Two other guys shook their head at him and when I looked at them they bolted away. Sometimes people be like that with me. "Uh about yesterday thanks for not telling anyone" he began. Ya you better be thankful I didn't just let Sal tear you apart. "Hope you learned your lesson" I told him as I finished tying up my shoes. "Ya check the whore first for weapons" the what now. "Shit" I heard Robert say from beside me. He slid back on the bench. "Heh what did you say" I asked him as I stood up. "Well we didn't search him before I mean who knew he was wearing a holster on his waist. Scared the crap out of me, thanks for taking the hit man bitches be crazy right" he laughed. 

This time I didn't black out I just fucking swung. Hit him right in the jaw. "Aw the fuck man" I didn't stop there I punched him in the nose and I hope I fucking broke it. That's when Robert grabbed me even with his leg he tried to hold me back. "What's your problem" Bruce yelled at me and I fucking lost it. All the anger that sat inside laying dormant just unleashed. "Are you serious, You tried to Rape Sally got four guys to hold him down and you have the balls to stand there and thank me for taking a hit for you" I couldn't even hear the door open as the class poured in to the room, more guys showing up to hold me back and flashes of red joining the blue uniforms. "Ok man hang on you're gonna get suspended again" Robert was trying to calm me down. "I wish I hadn't, I wish I never got in the way and you just got fucking stabbed. Try calling him a whore when you're dead fucker" I managed to get out of the guys hold and booked it towards Bruce. I threw my fist so hard and knocked him out "Who's the bitch now" of course he wasn't gonna answer me. 

I probably would of kicked him but I caught a flash of blue. I looked up a little. Sally was standing at the guys and my rage kinda settled. He stared at me with those large turquoise eyes, the color was so bright like a new sky. I felt my shoulders sank as I took in a deep breath, adrenaline still pumping through me. A loud whistle echoed through out the room and someone shouted "SCATTER". I quickly turned around and grabbed Robert, lifting him over my shoulder as the class ran to the change room door. I on the other hand ran to the door leading to the gym. The teacher was to busy with the mass of students to notice the few who had a good idea. I ran with him to the gym door and ran out of the class. Once we were out he started laughing. "M-My crutches" he whined. "Shut up man" I looked back as best as I could at the chaos and fucking laughed. It was so stupid and hilarious. I turned back around to see my surroundings and shit got scared silly. Sal was suddenly beside me. 

"Hey there cowboy" Robert greeted as he laughed. "Back at ya" since when did Sal get joking with Robert. "Dear Larry E. Johnson it is with a heavy heart that I am writing to you on this gloomiest of days" what was he doing. This giraffe and his antics. "But I'm afraid there is a knew love in my life his name, Sally face" I fucking dropped him. Just let him go and threw him off my shoulder. "Ah Larry wait" he called out as I ran away. "By cheater" he chuckled "Baby come back" he shouted. I looked back at him and cupped my ear "What can't hear you I'm running away" I went to laugh but as I turned back I tripped over a trash can and fell to the floor. The first thing I heard was the deepest laugh. I looked over to see Sal holding his stomach as he shook, I know he was the one laughing. Robert was laughing in the distance and the whole thing made me laugh.


	15. I'm cracking

So no we didn't get away. I mean Sal could of easily ran and hid but he stayed by my side laughing at my dumb assery. Most of the class was rounded up and held in 1-c class room for questioning. The teachers were gonna suspend me I know it. But before they got the chance the girls started yelling how that was unfair because I was beating a rapist who almost took a fellow girls virginity. No names were given but once the girls started attacking the staff and their morals so did the guys. So Bruce got suspended instead along with the other four boys and they had to write an apology letter to the victim and not out her. Social justice is always weird to see, like despite what authority says if a statement is strong enough they will bend or be belittled for awhile. 

It's still pouring outside, dark sky's and heavy waters with the occasional thunder. Forgot Chug is scared of thunder its kind of funny. He yelped when the loud noise came from the sky. And me and Robert being the guys we are stood up and turned to the window. We bowed at it chanting "Oh god of thunder Thor take mercy on midgar." It was nice joking around again, its been awhile. "You're so not funny" Chug mumbled at us. "Don't worry your lady friend will protect you" Robert joked. Chug mumbled something that I couldn't make out. "Hello peasant's of the first floor we come baring food" Ash's voice called out. Man it had been a long time since I've heard her. She looked at me and her smile fell. Of course. She sat down as far away from me as she could. Maple on the other hand sat down beside her not knowing what was going on. But I knew, Sal said something to her awhile ago, something that's had her keeping her distance. Chug took out his board game, why did he carry that shit with him everywhere. 

"Man its looking mighty nice out" Maple told and I think she was serious. "Hate thunder man makes me so jumpy" Chug shook as he set up the game. "You can jump into my arms, Ah that Is like you know I'll um help eh" the girl blushed so hard. "Uh th-thanks I'd maybe like that" these fucking dorks. "This physically hurts me" Robert told me and I chuckled. Cause ya it hurt watching them act like idiots when its so obvious they like eachother. "Oh yo its your kitchen mate" Todd? I looked at the door and both Sal and Todd were walking in. Why. What was he up to. They walked up to us and Todd was really pink. "Ah- S-salutations Sally's friends um I'm Todd Morrison from class 1-A" he stammered and didn't really look anyone in the eye. "Um Sup dude" Robert greeted. "Wanna play candy land" he passed Todd a piece. "We're budding up but you can be your own man me and Ash are a team right" he winked. Teams were kinda obvious of who's who. Chug and Maple, me and Sal, then Robert and Ash cause they were the only ones left. 

Todd slowly took a seat obvious he was anxious. "So Sal why'd you invite your buddy down" I asked and realized after words it sounded mean. "He was reading alone and I thought he'd like a game" there was a reason I asked. I felt like he was up to something or maybe I was just being defensive of the people he hurt. "Ah Sally looks like there's no place to sit unless you sit on your boyfriends lap" fuck you. Robert had the biggest smile on his face. There was no discussion, Sal just sat right on my lap. Not like it was hard I was to long to fit under the desk, plus all these other feet we had to join two desks just to fit everyone. He was pressed against my thighs, his legs dangling cause he was so short compared to me. I could feel the cold of his skin through my jeans. Was he always this cold. Why did he wear his skirt so high if he's this cold. Does he just not feel it anymore. "Alright lets start all at the marshmewlo mwoutains" Robert loved saying it like that. We started playing but Sal was so fucking short. Every-time he had to move our piece he lifted of me a little. I tried not to be hormonal about it, but it was hard when he raised then sat back down right over me. 

I couldn't help thinking about what that would feel like, would he be just as vocal as my dream. Would it feel more intense then actual sex. Everything with him was intense so it stand to reason it would be. No stop thinking about it you're gonna pop a boner. But he raised a little to high and I caught just the smallest glimpse of his panties. Pink strawberry's really, had to be fucking strawberry's. Now I was thinking about the pair I had at home and oh god how I was sniffing them like some creep. I tried to sit back but that just made it worse somehow. Cause I could see everything. Fuck did he know what he was doing or what. I had to stop myself from wanting to move my hips. Fucking no. Think of anything elts. But I couldn't all I could think of was strawberry's and his sweet smell that just hit my nose. I couldn't control it, I know I got hard. He sat back down on me and he tensed, his neck and ears turning pink. Fuck he felt it. And in a room full of people and my friends no less. 

What kind of face was he pulling, was he smiling or freaking out. Eyes wide and face so red. Stop. Stupid brain and stupid hormones. I blame that stupid dream I had. Ok just will it away just think of anything elts. Grass, rain, uh that super annoying level on that game, bunnies. No not bunnies. Uh the oh man his skirt and how short it is, I could just slip a hand under and no stop. In my internal battle I noticed he began to raise again. Fucking no. I grabbed his thigh and slammed him back down on me. He jolted and I felt the vibration of it. I reached over the board and moved our piece where it needed to go. I guess we were winning cause the group spazzed out. Yelling and groaning how that was unfair. I took the opportunity of the commotion to tell Sal to knock it off. I whispered in his ear low so no one else heard "your making it worse when you slam down on me" why did I phrase it like that. 

Ok time to actually will it away. But I made the mistake of touching his bare thigh. Sure he was wearing the thigh high socks the girls are suppose to wear but I had grabbed on to the one section not covered by the socks or the skirt. Fuck his skin was so soft, like a pillow. I couldn't help running my thumb over the softness. Feeling small dents where he had scares on his legs. This wasn't helping it was making everything way worse. I couldn't help leaning just a little and placing a small peck on the back of his neck. It was so warm and I could taste him on my lips now. The taste so familiar, I-I bit him before. I know I did but when, when I was stoned. Is that what he meant by reward, did I have sex with him while drugged. Now it really was worse cause I wanted to remember, remember how he felt, remember all the noises he made. 

Fuck stupid hormones calm down. Come on get a grip and calm yourself. "Ah-excuse me please" Sal suddenly spoke up. He slid off me and ran out of the room. "Is he ok" Maple asked. "Ah ya guess he really had to go" I told and moved my shirt over myself. Hopefully no one noticed. We carried on with the game till I won. My boner did die down now that I didn't have a reminder of all my dirty thoughts sitting on my lap. "Man Sally's been gone awhile" Chug said as we set up a new game. "Ya he's probably having an over load moment, s-sometimes he gets overwhelmed when he's around people for to long or in large groups so he isolates himself places to calm down" Ash informed. "That's called social anxiety and having an anxiety attack which can sometimes lead to a panic attack someone should make sure he's ok" Todd told. "Batter up" I said then stood up. Of course I'd be the one to go looking for him, everyone thought we were dating. 

I left the room and walked to the guys bathroom. Would he be in here or in the girls bathroom. How far did this statement go. I guess cause he changes in the boys change room he'd be in here. He was. The second I stepped in I heard him and fuck it was obvious what he was doing. He really was loud holy shit. It both made me embarrassed and horny. I swallowed hard as I walked into the room, down the row of stalls. He was masturbate. Playing with himself because I touched him. Touched his thigh and gripped him. A dream? vision? memory? came to my mind as I heard him. This blurry view of him stroking himself while his underwear sat rolled up at his thighs. Fuck why was I thinking about it, was it from when I was stoned or a dream I forgot about. 

I cleared my throat and knocked on the door "H-hey Sally yo-you good" what was I asking. I heard a small squeak, did he not hear me walk in. "Aah yes I'm O-ok" his voice was so shaky. "W-what are you doing" why was I asking. I knew what he was doing. Come on just walk away and let him finish and pretend this afternoon never happened. "U-Um kinda personal" was he really trying to hide it. Come on there was no way he could not with how loud he was being. He's lucky no one else has walked in, fuck he'd have an audience if some ass heard him. I bit my lip then went to turn the stall handle. Pretty simple honestly just dig your nail in and turn. 

I heard it unlock and he yelped. I opened the door and stepped in. I don't know why I did it, I knew what was happening but something in me wanted to see. He covered his exposed mouth with his hand and I saw bite marks on his arm. Was he that loud while he was muffling his voice. Geezes. He reached down to grab his skirt which was hanging by his knees along with his underwear. "P-please don't be upset darling but I couldn't help myself, the way you were touching me a-and feeling how hard you were. I-I had to" I made him that desperate. I think something in me snapped cause I slammed the door and locked it. Before he could really have a reaction I smashed our lips together. He was so caught off guard he left his mouth wide open. I couldn't help sticking my tongue inside and tasting him. That amazing sweet flavor I'm so addicted to flooded my senses. He was flooding my senses. He gripped on to my jacket and my hand flew to him. Gripping him and pulling him closer. I reached down grabbed that glorious ass of his that I've been staring at for so long. It was just as soft as the rest of him. He made the most amazing noise as I grabbed him, moving my fingers and feeling how slick he was. Fuck he must of been finger himself. Why was that so hot. I felt like I was falling, losing my footing and soaring down as I kissed him and felt him. I think I blacked out for a second from how turned on I was.

Fuck what was I doing. I need to stop this but I can't, it's to good, so fucking good I think I'm drowning in it. All I did was touch his thigh and he was fiddling himself to it. Fuck he was hot, so desperate even the smallest touch sends him off. Guess that's why I couldn't help it, I needed to be the one inside him. Feeling him all around me and dragging out all those amazing noises. Fuck he was so vocal, I moved just the slightest and he'd pant and whine out for more. So perfect. It was hard to find a good position, it was a stall after all and he's super short. But we made it work, made him sit on me, taking me so deep while I sat on the toilet seat. I thrusted into him hard, letting gravity send him back down. Fuck the noises he made, moans and mewls everytime he fell back onto me. Fuck it was so good, feeling myself so deep in him being swallowed by his desire for this. I bit his ear then licked his studs, I felt him shudder at that. "You like this" I asked and I don't know why. "Ah~ yes, yes Larry I-I love it" he was so loud it made me chuckle. Someone would hear him for sure.

"So noisy someones gonna hear you ya know" not like I care. "I-I don't c-care, let them" he kept bouncing on me as he spoke. I don't know if I was cracking or if I just thought it was funny. So desperate he doesn't care. Giving me every noise without prompting, not trying to hide himself. Just open and ready to give me everything. "Such a naughty boy, not caring if someone hears how good I'm making you feel" he tightened at my words and I slammed so hard into him. It was unexpected and felt so good, I know I moaned at the feeling. "Y-Yes so good Larry so good" he really was loud, shouting out answers for me. I kinda wanted someone to walk in, hear him yelling for me, about me and how good I make him feel. Why do I want that, why do I want this. Wasn't there a time I was trying to get him locked up, when did it change to me dragging out these sweet words with my dick.

"Good enough to make you cum" I asked. "Ah~ yes, yes g-gonna cum from you, please, please" fuck now he was begging. I couldn't tell if I was close or not, all of me was electrified and on fire. Wanting him to keep talking, begging till I cam deep inside him and hearing him scream for me as he cums. "Fuck" I quickened my pace just wanting to feel him more. More him. Words can't think words It's just to good, he's to good. So intense and soft. "You're so perfect, my perfect. Perfect baby blue, taking me so deep, so hard just like you were meant to. meant me, Ah, ha...you my dirty boy" My filters gone again and I can't care all I want is this. Him in my lap, begging for me with that sweet deep whining voice of his. "Yes, I'm your's, I'm your's Larry. M-Meant for my darling, me AH~ nt you, for you, you're dirty boy" fuck I think I am close, or maybe thats just how his voice makes me feel. Hearing him say he's mine. I know he is, even when I don't want him to be. But hearing him say it made me want to fuck him harder.

I reached over and grabbed him. I started stroking him and he gave the loudest moan ever. "You're gonna scream my name, It's the only thing you're allowed to say, now cum for me Sal" he gasped as I gripped his hip and slammed into him the best I could as I stroked him. He obeyed me and chanted my name leading to his orgasm. He tightened and fuck yes it felt so good I slammed into him and felt myself release inside. "Ah~ Larry, Larry, La-larry, Ah LARRY" he cam from the feeling of me filling him. Thats so hot. He gripped my jeans as he cam all over my hand.

I let my hand drop to his thigh as I moved my other one around him to pull him close. I rested my head on his shoulder even though it hurt my back. Why did I need to hold him close, why did I want to. He was breathing so heavy as he leaned back in my hold. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Pretending everything we went through didn't happen and we were just two normal people who needed eachother so bad they had to fuck in a bathroom. Even if that didn't seem normal to me I can pretend right. "Ah d-darling" he spoke to me. I know he was gonna ask to clean up. He hates being dirty, But I didn't wanna let him go just yet. Please just let me pretend we're normal. Let me pretend we're in love and I'm in that Ferris wheel with you, holding your hand and kissing you as the sun sets behind us. Please. I know I was probably tearing up. But this is what the roller coaster has done to me.

"Please just let me hold you" I felt him tense then melt back into my hold. "Anything for you my darling" he sounded so happy. Even though he said we could stay like this he still grabbed some toilet paper and wiped my hand of his mess. He was so funny sometimes. 

I was drowning. Falling into deep waters and forgetting how to breath. Trying to take in a breath and failing over and over. He was holding my hand and I felt like I was asleep. Like I wasn't here until he pulled me and I realized where I was. I looked in front of me and there was a train going by. Again I would of died just then with out him. "Larry are you ok" he asked. I took in a deep breath cause I wasn't sure where I've been. We had sex in the bath room and he let me hold him as long as I wanted, then sprayed us both with that perfume of his. Guess he didn't wanna smell like sex. I couldn't even finish the game I just held him as we finished lunch. I don't think I wanted him to go. I'm spacing out, losing time, winding up at random parts of my day. 

"A-am I going to work" I asked. "No it's your day off, Darling" right ya right it's Thursday. Get every other thursday off. Wow was that edible shit just a week ago. So we wait for this train to leave. "Larry" he started and I looked at him. "I-I know you're not in love with me yet but w-would you like to go to the music festival with me" he thinks I don't like him after that. What did he think that I was using him. What was I doing. I looked at him, why did I have this urge to pick him up and hold him close. He was a murderer no its and buts. He isolated me, made me dependent on him. Thats not love that's stockholm syndrome. But I'm going regardless so why not. "Sure" he tightened his grip on my hand. 

He's making me dinner again. He basically lives at my place at this point. I stared at him as he cooked in my kitchen. He's so convinced he loves me and I don't see why. I'm the worst. All I do is treat him like a burden like hes something I don't want. He even said it once that he didn't want me to hate him. I make him cry a lot. He even thinks I don't love him after having sex with him. And I guess I don't but I don't know my feelings. Everything's so chaotic in my mind. Constantly going over everything that's happened with him. All the cute moments, all the crazy, all the fear and I keep lashing out at him because of it. So why is he still around, why does he love me. He set a plate down in front of me. I looked him in the eye and saw his eye looked normal. So I asked. "Sally why are you in love with me." I think he smiled but it's hard to tell with the prosthetic on "I told you darling, your so sweet and caring your the only good thing left in this world" his pupils morphed into hearts but I still needed answers. No matter how love sick he got I wanted him to be straight with me. 

"Ya except I'm not, all I've done is try to get you caught and push you away and make you cry" fuck did I just blurt out my secret. I tensed as he stared at me, what was he gonna do. He grabbed my hand and for a second I thought he was gonna snap my wrist. But he brought my hand to his chest. It felt warm compared to the rest of him. I felt his heart beat a couple times. It was so fast. "Feel that, that's my love for you, my heart beats for you" seriously does he just not think before he speaks or something. Maybe he has no shame in what he says cause it's me. I focused on the beating I was feeling, it felt like it was getting stronger. Was that because of me, did his heart always beat this fast around me. Why does that make me wanna hold him. I shook my head to shake the thoughts. It didn't answer my question. "But why did you fall in love with me was it love at first sight did we have classes together and I was just to stupid to notice you but you noticed me. Was it slow or fast-" he shook his head and I stopped talking.

"No it was love at remembrance, When I saw you punch someone out for me and make him pick up my books I became obsessed. You were so familiar and it took getting hit with a dodge ball to remember who you were" who was I to you. He took a deep breath like it was kinda hard to admit. "When my mom use to talk about falling in love and getting married you were the reflection in her eyes." I removed my hand from him and turned to my plate of pasta. What kind of answer was that. I was in his moms eyes. He really was embarrassing sometimes. How could I be in his moms eyes when he never met me. 

But his story reminded me of something my dad said once. When I asked him how he knew my mom was his future. He told me he had a dream of white fabric swaying in he wind and when he saw my mom wear white for the first time it reminded him of that dream and it changed to her wearing the flowy white fabric. It was a lie though clearly since this is our life now. Living in the debt he left behind and losing everything cause everything is expensive. I'm sorry Sally love is a lie. "Th-thanks for dinner" I told him and he gasped at me, trying not to sound bitter. He jolted at my words. Guess I didn't do a good enough job. "Y-your so welcome my darling ah- I'll make you something sweet to cheer you up just you enjoy the meal" he rushed off to the kitchen. What got into him all of a sudden. He felt the need to do more then he already did.....Fuck I'm an asshole was that really the first time I've thanked him for a meal. Someone shoot me.


	16. Music of my heart

I woke up Saturday to my mom yelling in Spanish. It was clear she was losing her shit over a show she was watching. She gets really attached to characters on screen and will actually yell at them if they make her mad enough. It's funny usually just not when your waking up. I groaned then turned over. I half expected to see Sal beside me, curled up with his hand in his face as he slept beside me. But he wasn't and he's never done that so I don't know why the thought entered my head. Well I did have a theory, I wondered if I was falling in love with him. But I don't think I am he's a murderer after all. A psychopath sorry lovesick crazy person with murderous tendencies. How can I love someone like that. I cut my losses and got out of bed. I was suppose to take Sally to the music festival today. It was this big festival that happens every first weekend of may. The town gets together and sets up this big event in Clarence park cause it's our biggest park in the city. There's like a bunch of stuff a section for carny games and rides, local or home business booths, food trucks, a stage where they play god awful music during the day while they set up another stage closer to the water fountain for late night bands. Some so-so rock bands and hip hop ugh. 

If promises weren't so important to me I'd just fucking bail. I wasn't feeling up to it and mom had a half day today so I'd actually get to spend time with her. But no I made a promise to him. Curse me and my fucking morals. I ate a bowl of cereal this morning while I watched my mom freak out on really a hospital show. Like her life wasn't already spent at a hospital she had to watch a show about one. Id almost rather her watch desperate house wives as dramatic as it is at least it's not a hospital show. "Excited for your date" she asked once the episode was over. No I wasn't I just wanted to stay home. "I mean-" how do I even answer. "Nervous or...or do you wanna hang out with me" damn she's good. She gave a sad smile "I understand I know we don't talk much or see eachother that often. But you should live your own life, do things you wanna do and date who you want not have to worry about squeezing in that mom time. There will be other times for us to hangout the music fest only comes once a year" I know she's right but I'd rather be with her then hang out with Sal. I'm constantly worried who his next target is, how he's gonna hurt this person and what will set him off. 

It's mentally draining. I wish I could just enjoy his company for a change. "Ya I know" is all I could say to her. "Larry I know you feel the need to take care of me since....but you don't have to worry about me. It hurts ya but life goes on and dwelling on the bad just means you can't see the good. Just try to let it go, I know it's hard but let it go chico dulce" how do you just let go of all the bad. Being abandoned, having to grow up before you're ready so you can help with bills, losing your anger because of the stress, constantly wondering and wanting the world to share your morals and just be good. How do you just let all that go. "I should get ready for this date" I stood up from the table and took my bowl out. 

I got dressed, throwing on my slipknot shirt, some old jeans and my leather jacket. Actually it's pretty warm out I don't really need this. I went to take it off put something poked me as I bent the jacket. There was something in the inner pocket. I reached in and pulled it out. It was a pink slip of paper. It had creases in it from being crumpled and lines where it was folded. I unfolded it and went to read it to remember what it was. 

'I could write a thousand letters but none would rightfully convey the way I feel about you, It's a feeling that consumes me and makes me feel like I'm walking on air. When I see you smile or hear you laugh my heart explodes with how full it feels. I've been buying my time trying to work up the courage to let you how I feel how adorable I find each of your different smiles how your voice sounds like helium and I'm floating with every word. The terror in your eyes sending shivers through me.

Everything about you is perfect. Lately I'm noticing your staring back at me. Knowing things about me the way I know about you. We're the same and I can't keep it to myself anymore. Meet me behind the school at 4. Don't tell anyone I don't like witnesses and the people here are to nosy for their own good' It was Sally's love letter. The one the guys read out and threw away. I get it now he set fire to the school because he wanted to burn the evidence, burn the memory. He must of been so heart broken that this got out. It was suppose to be private. I laid on my bed and re read the letter over and over. I wounder what would of happened if I read this alone and we did meet at 4. Would I freak the fuck out, would I decline him. Probably since I was so scared of him. Am still pretty scared. I wonder if he'd cry or would just snap and try to cut me with his knife. So many variables and he is the wildest one of them all. I never know how he's gonna react to something. I mean this letter could be worse could be riddled with the word love and death threats. Thinking about it I remember the sketch book he gave me. It made me feel bad at the time cause his message was so sweet. It still is. I didn't have time to think about it though cause he was texting me. I know its him he's the only one that texts me in sequences. Three pause five pause three. Guess that means I need to get up and meet everyone at this festival. I threw on a dark grey zip up and went to leave the house. 

*****

Didn't take me long to get to the park it was like twenty minutes away. It was already so busy with people all over the grass going to the different booths and food trucks. I sat at the fountain waiting. This fountain was the place I first saw his face. Open and covered in scares. I was fallowing him like a creep and he thought I was expressing interest cause that's how he showed he was interested in me. He was so happy smiling at me and kissing me. The first time I got a taste of him. What was I thinking kissing him back. It seemed so long ago and I guess it was, like over two months ago. Sigh I hope I don't black out today. I heard metal hitting the pavement and I smiled. It was Robert soaring around on his crutches. He came around the side. He gasped dramatically "W-wa Johnson-kun why" I straight up laughed. He's so damn stupid. "Don't you mean the other one" I asked. "Dude its San come on get on the weeb train" he hobbled over to me and sat down. 

"Sup dude you got like and ancient look to you" he gestured to the all of me. "Ya guess I do...heh been thinking about life ya know" I started. "Tch that's never good, thinking about life and the world is depressing. Nothings the way it should be and there's nothing anyone of us can do about it. We're just penny grabbers doing anything and everything we can to pay the world that doesn't protect. People all around are dying or falling and those in power don't give a damn or are actively making it worse. Its all really depressing. It-its why I just go with the flow ya know otherwise I'd be angry and scared all the time. It's not worth it, letting the world ruin you cause it sucks isn't worth it just ya know do what makes you happy and so what if the world hates it they don't care about us so lets not care about them." He nudged me. I chuckled a little at him. It's all I could do, he got super real on me and he like never gets real. Everything's a joke and when it's not he's quiet. "Op got to real lets reel it back a bit ya get those hmhm good vibrations" he was getting desperate to change the tone. "Think they'll let you on the salt and pepper shaker" he smiled at me. "Bitches better let me on that fucker who doesn't love being thrown around and spun like a rag doll" he shouted. I laughed at him. "Man gonna be a day" he tried to be positive. No ones positive. "Yep a day where things happen" we both snickered at that. 

"Yall are idiots" a faniliar voice insukted us idiots. "Ashlen" we both shouted as we heard her. "Stop" she giggled at us. Haven't heard her laugh in a while. She seemed to remember herself and turned away from us. "Uh bye" she started walking away. "What where you going" Robert chuckled but it wasn't a laughing matter. "Come on Ash quite avoiding me" she turned to me and sighed. "I-I'm sorry I just don't wanna get in the way of your relationship. I know I'm not being suddenly but I don't wanna be that girl that's the reason you can't keep a romantic relationship" she ranted. "What are you talking about" Robert asked. She stepped over to us "Look I know we're close like really close, could be those people that don't talk for ages and then hangout like no time has passed we're bros. But since the amusement park I realized I was stealing your time from Sal, playing on your child nature with my own and running around like idiots going on rides he couldn't. You were suppose to be on a date and you spent most of the day with me. I know he got that Ferris wheel kiss but that doesn't mean he wasn't lonely all day" is that why she was keeping her distance. I thought Sal had scared her away. 

"What did he say to you" I asked curious. Didn't he like threaten her. "Hmm oh I don't really remember it was awhile ago, but I realized he was the jealous type. Guess it's cause he's never had a relationship before so he doesn't get that to much is to much sometimes....He-he was kinda locked away in recovery for years, I don't know much cause he doesn't talk to me. Doesn't talk to me at all now a days but I know it was pretty bad" she rambled. Being stuck in the hospital was something he said to all of us when we were gushing about the amusement park. Which he threw Ash off the top of the waterfall. I guess he didn't talk to her after that day, I don't really remember them talking after. Plus he did say they weren't friends. "Ah stale, stale lets get some kale" Robert shouted. Things were getting to heavy for him. "Walk me then" Ash held out her arm. Robert started getting up. I guess everyone had their own view of the world and situations. I was sure Sal scared her away but she was keeping her distance because she didn't want to make Sal feel he had to compete with her. Which he didn't she was my sister. But it was kinda nice knowing he didn't chase her away. 

I waited, wondering what could be keeping him but he did live pretty far. "Yo" I turned and saw Chug walking over to me alone. I smiled and he knew what was coming "Wheres your lady friend" I teased. "Ha ha she's putting on her face" he sat down beside me on the fountain. "Where's your's" he mocked. "I don't know could be getting ready, could be on his way down" he blinked at me as I looked out at the festival. "You sound kinda torn ya know like those people deep in thought" I smirked at that. "Ya I guess I am, been kinda inside myself lately just running on auto pilot" he was quiet for a moment. "Penny for your thoughts" he asked. "You don't want my thoughts" it sounded stupid but its not like I can share. No one believes me and I'm starting to wonder what would happen if someone did. He was staring at me and I cracked a little "guess things just aren't going as planned." And they're not I had a plan to find out if Sal was a criminal then to expose him. But i did t get very far instead he became attached go me and convinced I'd fall in love with him. "Man fuck plans they're so stupid. Like shits really unpredictable. Look at all the times I've tried asking Maple out and how much each time has failed or I lost my nerve. No matter how flawless the plan seemed it still happened. It's just how shit works plans fail and if you want something you just gotta get it ya know. Ok, Ok I know how that sounds cause I still haven't told her how I feel and I keep saying I will which is a lie. Plans don't matter man plans always fail what matters is moments, memories that make you happy and keep you wanting to make more like them. Maples my memory, even though I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend I still like that she hangs out with me and we got all these nice memories together" he went off. This boy went on a tangent about his soft feelings. What a dork

"Ah s-sorry got super sappy there just ya know" he scratched his head. "Plans suck" I repeated. "Ya that" I chuckled at him. He was suck a love sick fool. But was he a fool I mean Maple felt the same he just couldn't see it. "Hey" speak of the devil. "Oh hey" Chug got off the fountain. "We'll see ya in a bit Larry I wanna go check out this stand" he looked kinda guilty. "You mean the candy apple stand" I asked. "Shut your mouth" he laughed then walked away with his lady friend. Never really thought of him as being a deep guy. He was just always the dude that ate street meat for a penny. But I guess that was awhile ago, we all had to grow up sometime. "U-um hello my darling did I keep you waiting" I stood up from the fountain at the sound of Sally's voice. "Nah just talking to some peop-le" the sight of him caught me off guard. He was wearing this long white dress with frills at the end and two bows over the chest. He had his hair in lose curls with a frilly white bow sitting on top of his head, separating his bangs from the rest of his hair. And my red sweater. I should make a comment about it but a gust of wind flew by and his dress moved with it. It sparked an old memory of my abuela hanging up sheets in her back yard. Giving me the sweetest smile like I wasn't broken. 

"Larry" I heard him say and I looked at his bright eyes. "My sweater" was all I managed to say as my brain came back to earth. "Oh yes I-I wanted to wear it. It's warm" he held his arms close to his center as if he was nuzzling the red sweater. "Ya it is...uh so um wanna check this thing out" why did I sound so awkward. He nodded at me and grabbed my arm. I walked beside him as we went to go look at the festival. There were a lot of booths with a bunch of different stuff. Jewelry, home made soaps, candles, pants, spices, frequents, shirts. Some stuff for dogs and some for cats. 

"Oh gizmo would love this he loves funny stickers" Sal giggled at a Rick and Morty sticker. "Who's Gizmo" I asked. "I guess you didn't meet him, he's usually coped up in his room watching tv in the back. He's my cat" cat? I guess I did see him buying cat food once but there was no cat hair anywhere. Is that what was behind the green door a cat. "Ah" was all I could say. I was really awkward, trying not to stay in my head as we went from booth to booth but it was kinda hard. I kept getting lost in thought. At every booth with anything remotely cute he kept stopping at and wanted to look everything over. Like he wasn't already cute enough. He bought a bracelet with a daisy pattern on it which just added to his look. The soft white. It made me wanna grab him everytime the wind blew it around. Like he was a white sheet and he was gonna fly away and I'd lose him. I think the thought alarmed me or sadden me or both. It was hard to figure out how I was feeling. Whether I was starting to like him or not and what that meant for my plan. How I'd be breaking all my morals falling for a killer. And betraying the law. 

We spent awhile going over the booths till I spotted Mrs Silva. I waved at her and went to say hi but Sally grabbed my arm. I looked at him as he glared at the woman. "Hey It's ok some of them are good, she let you bring in the tea didn't she" he seemed torn on what to do. On one hand the whole precinct chased us down. On the other Mrs Silva gave him the opportunity to get us out of there. I walked over to her, she was all smiles. "Hey Lar-bear" she started. "Uh oh am I in trouble" it was a joke, a very bad one for the audience. Sal held onto me so tight. "No just wanted to say sorry for what happened. Mr Fisher uncovered a lot of shit in the office, a dirty cop or two a shame really. We made an oath to serve and protect but it doesn't feel like people know what that means. They abuse the power and practice what laws they think are good doesn't matter if its an actual law or not. I tell ya good thing there's lawyers we cops have to much power for our own good" she ranted. It was a hard pill to swallow, hearing an adult admit the systems corrupt. 

"I'm just glad you two got cleared and can enjoy this festival, hey seen that son of mine around he had the most odd looking picture on his cast but hobbled away before I could get a look at it. Know something Johnson" she crossed her arms and I tried not to smile. "Who me" It was obvious she knew it was my handy work. "Run along you two enjoy the day" she enthused. Robert was a lot like his mom I found, they both hated heavy topics even if its something that's weighing on them. I think that's why she asked us to leave. She didn't wanna be reminded of the world she was working in. "Hungry" I asked, I wasn't to hungry though it was just really awkward air. "No" was the answer. We fell silent for a second. My thoughts becoming so loud in our silence. I know he's a quiet dude but I really hated the silence between us. "Ah so hey t-twenty questions" I asked. "Sure" fuck now I had to think of questions to ask. 

"Ah ok" what could I ask. "Um allergic to anything" stupid. "Coconut I don't know why" he seemed baffled it was kind of an odd thing to be allergic to. "Alright any foods you don't like" ok food theres a lot I could ask about food. "Hmm well everyone thinks it's weird so I kinda lie and say I'm allergic to peanuts cause I kinda hate peanut butter." He what. "What peanut butter is like the best thing ever created" how can someone not like peanut butter its so good. "Is what everyone tells me" he rolled his eye. Actually rolled his eyes with sass. I smiled at him. "Next your favorite food of all time" It was getting easier to stay in the now with these questions. "Hmm I'm not really picky, anything really but I do like chicken and any form of pasta you can just do so much with them. Add different things or blend them with different sauces and spices, Oh love salads. Pasta salads, potato salad, lettuce salad, fruit salad" I had to laugh at that. Of course his mind was a fountain of recipes. "You're quit the chef aren't you" he looked down at the grass. "Ya I-I kinda had to be....when I got out of the hospital my dad was living off fast food and I got worried for his health so I started making him lunch and dinner to take with him to the office....he left money for me to go out and grab what ever I needed when ever so I found seeds and started a garden for our fruits and vegetables. Fresh is always best." 

So that's what started the herbology hobby. If his dad was eating fast food for every meal I guess he really didn't have a mother. I wonder what happened to her, should I ask. I'd like to know but I don't wanna bum him out. I've already bummed out everyone I've met today. Between Robert losing his funny, Ash telling me she doesn't wanna get in the way of my happiness, Chug admitting that he can't fallow through on plans of happiness, Mrs Silva admitting her coworkers are corrupt. Man whats wrong with me. Am I that pitiful I bring everyone down. "Hey darling lets go check out the carnival games" I heard Sal say distantly even though he was right beside me holding my arm. I didn't answer just walked with him over to the games and rides. There were some so-so games. A maze for kids, three spinning rides, an inflatable tiger maze, the salt and pepper shaker ride. Maybe like six carny games. I use to love those games but they're rigged so you can't actually win the prizes unless you're special or know the carnies personally. Kinda like how real life is can't get anywhere unless you have connections. Man I really hate having these thoughts. Why can't I just enjoy the festival like I always do. 

Why do I feel so alone even though I'm surrounded by people. Is-is it Sal. Is he isolating me so he's the only one in my life. "Oh there's Todd" he suddenly spoke. I looked up and around. Across the area was Todd and some guy that looked as pressed and clean as Sal in his uniform. "I kept my promise darling, I haven't hurt him or Ash. He actually says he feels lucky about the whole thing. He got a break from his life for a couple days and met a wonderful man. Isn't that great" was he asking for praise. How could i praise him for hurting someone. Even if it did help him it still wasn't right. "I guess, doesn't make it right though" he needed to know that. 

"I know, they're warnings. He got to close to you. Y-you called him cute...but I'll keep my promise I won't hurt him or Ash" was he serious. A warning to what not be chummy with me. "Lets go say hi" I'm so tired of having this conversation of right and wrong. Not just with him but with myself to. Constantly going over shit in my head and how wrong it all is. "Salutations" Sal greeted was he making a joke about the way Todd greets people. "A-ah hahaha yes salutations Sally. O-oh um N-Neil this is ahem Sally face from my class and his boyfriend Larry" he introduced. The man turned to us and gave the warmest smile I've ever seen. It felt like the sun on a warm summer day. "Hello I'm Neil its nice to meet Todd's friends" his voice was so smooth it was like my muscles were melting at every word. Oh ok now I see why Todd got blushy when he talked about this man. He was down right gorgeous in every way. 

He held out his hand and I took it to shake. He wasn't as soft as Sally or as cold. Guess you can't be perfect but damn if he wasn't close. "Uh s-so how are you liking the festival so far" Todd asked. "It's different, there's a lot more home businesses then I thought there'd be" Sal started. "Right i'm astonished myself I did ask how they kept up with the high demands of known companies and a good majority of them say its a side business so they work actual jobs, Well other jobs started up from corporations and work on their own business in between" he went into fact mode. "Fascinating, did you see the booth with the wooden flowers I was astonished. How creative to forge wood working into such a beautiful craft. People do love bouquets but they always wither unless you have the roots still but to have wood flowers that are soft to the touch I'm intrigued" holy shit why do I keep forgetting Sal's just as smart. "I have not, now I must see this sounds perfect" Todd smiled. "You're gonna look for flaws in their marketing and or product" Sal spoke like he knew the guy. "Naturally isn't that what you did" they both started laughing. What was happening was Sal actually being chummy with someone. Was he making a friend or keeping an enemy close. "Got yourself a business major there" Neil started talking to me. Oh gosh what do I say back, why are words suddenly so hard. "Ah yep my little egg head" fuck that's such an insult. Neil frowned at my words and I felt so guilty.

"I don't mean to get on anyone's bad side um just calling someone an egg head especially someone who trusts you, it just seems hurtful" I'm so sorry Neil, please don't hate me. "A-ah ya I-I have a filter problem m-my brain to mouth filter is like non existent t-try my best though" he smiled at me again. Oh thank god. "That's all anyone can ask for, well hope you two enjoy the rest of your day" he grabbed Todd's hand and the guy turned bright red. "A-ah b-bye Sally, L-Larry" man no wonder Todd gets like that. Neil was hella charming. I cleared my throat. Don't wanna add Neil to the list of Sally's victims. "Do people really like being thrown around like that" I fallowed his gaze to the salt and pepper shaker. "Ya they like the thrill" I looked back at him and he was holding the sides of his prosthetic. "Wanna go on" I asked. "N-No I can't um the prosthetic might fly off or press against my face which would hurt" he tapped the mask. I stared at him for a moment just wondering about it. "Hey do you need that anymore, does it mold your face or protect it from the air" he looked at me. "I-It use to mold my face when I had surgery done b-but not anymore. I-I wear it because of my face" ouch. He felt like he needed to hide that hurt. 

But looking back people did freak the fuck out anytime they saw his face. Like that dude in the park or those ass-hats that hurt him. Guess it doesn't help his body positivity when the world screams at the sight of him. I won't scream, theres nothing to be scared of. Except his blood thirsty nature. I looked around just cause I shouldn't be staring that wasn't gonna make him feel better about it. I jolted in my stands cause I noticed this cat mask sitting at a fishing game. It was about the same size and looked super light. "Hang on wait right here" I told him then tried to casually make my way over to the game. No I wasn't gonna play these things are super rigged. They were money gusslers and made it so you spent two hundred dollars on games with no prize. Bastards. I walked up to the game and leaned against he pole by the mask. Now be cool. The employee looked at me for a second but didn't seem suspicious. Had to wait for the right time. 

There's always a kid that starts crying over these games as sad as that is. Once the kid started throwing a fit I took the distraction to slyly untie the mask from the pole then left before anyone was the wiser. "Did you steal that" Sal asked. "Shh like they don't steal" its not really morally sound but these things are like ten dollars and they ask for hundreds what a rip. He giggled at me and took the mask. We walked off to a semi hidden part in the area. He took off his mask and put on the cat one. Ah my heart it's become a dj from how cute he looked. "Oh where um" he was looking around for a place to hold his prosthetic. I reached out and took it from him then clasped it to my belt loop. "I'll carry it don't worry" his ears turned pink at that. Fuck he looked even cuter with a cat mask on. 

I took him to a ride, wasn't gonna let him on the salt and pepper shaker that thing is brutal. We went on kind of a kiddy ride but he's never been on one before. He held on to my arm the whole time. It was really cute. I took him on a few more and he started to laugh nervously but I could tell he enjoyed them. "Th-that was fun" he gushed. I chuckled at him. He was so excited over some rides I was kinda over. We passed by a booth and I had to stop. Not because it was a darts game but because of the big prize. It was this weird looking giraffe with wings and a bill. It was so weird. I wanted it. "Wanna play a game" the employee asked me. No way jigsaw I know this game. "Do you want the chimera" Sal asked. The what. "The what" he looked over at the giraffe. "The chimera, a spliced animal" oh. "Uh Nah I'm ok not to good at this game" who is. "I am" he said kinda darkly. It made me nervous. 

I wonder if he was locked away for so long does he know these things are rigged. He bought like twenty throws. He took a dart and I felt bad he was wasting his money. He ran his finger over the tip then looked at the carny. He took a few steps back then ran at the booth. He threw the dart with so much force it scared both me and the carny. The balloon popped on impact. "Geezes" the guy spoke. Sal did that a few more times till he pricked his finger on the top of a dart. He then aimed really high and hit three fucking balloons. Oh I get it it's not the balloons that are rigged its the darts. Some are to dull to pierce and that's why he's using brute strength. He won and the carny was pissed. He gave over the giraffe though. Fucking rad this thing was so weird I love it. Also love out rigging a game. "You're smiling now" I heard Sal say. "Huh" I asked him and he shook his head. "Nothing lets get something to eat darling, I noticed a nice stand with lots of grilled onions and burgers" oh dang that's my weakness. I started drooling at the thought. We grabbed some food and sat down by the little garden area of the park. He got sushi which is kinda gross but whatever. He took off my red sweater and set it down on the grass. Right cause he was wearing white. Ok so this was nice. A nice little date in the park, enjoying the music and nick nacks. It almost felt normal. We made another round about on the booths looking over the nick nacks again. Well he calls them products and goods. The sun started going down and the booths began packing up so everyone could attend the night concert. I don't know if he wants to stay for that though It's pretty lame. They started out playing ya shitty hip hop while everyone got situated. I was gonna ask if he wanted to leave but we got spotted by Robert and Ash. "Hey its the couple ah shoot I didn't have a good joke" Robert called out to us. "You it's my wife" I joked and Sal gripped my hand really hard. "Ow kidding, kidding" I told him and he loosened his grip but didn't let go of my hand. "Ah am I still your wife though I mean you clearly have something on the side" I snapped my fingers at him. "Hey don't act like you're innocent or do I need to remind you about food" Ash laughed at us. I sat down without thinking. They had this long picnic cloth laid out on the grass. Sal sat down beside me, taking off his shoes first the tucking the long dress under his knees as he sat down. "Oh hey there neko Sally" Robert teased. 

Sal suddenly leaned forward to look at the guy then brought his fists up one by his ear and the other under his chin "nye~" he made a noise. I felt like I was teleport somewhere I didn't know were. Cause the actual fuck did he just 'nye' like a fucking weeb. Robert started laughing then laid down "Ah-ah my heart it's to cute." I shoved him not so playfully. I don't know just didn't want him calling Sal cute. "Hey we were just about to get some funnel cake, watch our blanket" Ash asked. "Huh sure but wheres Chug and Maple" they both smiled at me and pointed into the crowed. I little bit away Chug was laying on Maples lap and she was playing with his hair. Dorks. A little bit to the right I saw Todd and Neil sitting together on the grass. Neil had is arm around Todd and the man was resting his head on Neil's shoulder. Awe its so cute. "Don't worry big guy we'll get you and Sal one what would you like" Ash asked. "S-strawberry please" Sal asked as I was coming back to earth. Of course he loved strawberry's he had like two pairs of underwear. One of which is under my pillow at home. Ah try not to think about it. 

"Ah hey s-so music" I tired to asked just to get my mind off the underwear. Sal giggled at me "Yes the sound or vibrations" ok smart ass. I rolled my eyes at him. "I meant do you like it" I tried again. "Yes....I-I only knew old music for a long time, stuff like Britney or really old stuff like cheers. Even when I got out all I heard was this horrible rap about cheating and just being a dirt-bag" he explained. But wait didn't he like buy a metal cd once. "What about that cd you bought" he looked at me and I realized I only knew that cause I fallowed him. "Um I knew you were fallowing me you-you weren't very sneaky about it. Actually thought it was kinda funny. Um I know you like them and really liked metal I sorta presented it cause I wanted you to think we liked the same music. But then I actually listened to it and it was amazing. The guitar riffs were my favorite it was like nothing I've ever heard before. Finally it was something that wasn't about cheating or money....actually I started learning how to play the guitar because of it."

Why was that cute. It should be crazy he bought my favorite CD so I thought we had interests. And I did for a bit but I guess I forgot. Though it's not like it was a lie he did listen to it and found a passion through it. Ya metal just ignites something in everyone. "Ya metal can and will change you forever. I remember when I first heard it, my dad played this black sabbath song. It was so heavy and loud it was like I was getting lost in it. After that everything sounded like garbage" he giggled at that. "That's because everything elts is garbage" hell fucking yes, he gets it. I laughed. It was weird I was actually agreeing with him and starting to like his sass. But we became quiet, not even the shitty song could stop my gloomy thoughts. Thoughts of how he had blood on his hands. How he got away with murder and thought it was ok. How no one believes me. Maybe that's why I didn't tell the cops because no one believes me. Was I lying to myself though. Because I wasn't even trying to imagine a world without him. No I was actively thinking how he felt, did I care about him and if yes then why. He hurt people. AHHHHH. 

"Are you alright" he asked me. I just sighed how was I suppose to answer. I guess with the truth. But what was the truth. "Ya just depressed I guess" he just looked at me. "I don't know guess I've been having kind of a turmoil in my head lately....doesn't help that it keeps leading me to think about how broken the world is. There's crime everywhere and no ones trying to stop it only when others are looking. People talk about morals but only practice them when they're being watched instead of believing in them" I ranted. I couldn't hep it, it was like I couldn't stop. "Sorry I'm kind of a bummer" I sighed. "It's hard not to think about it. How no one really cares and treats one another like nothing. Marching to the beat of corporate world designed to make minimum wagers suffer. I-It's illegal to kill yourself because your the governments property" Jesus Christ that way worse then anything I've thought. My god. "But" he began sounding a littler cheerier "why give them the satisfaction. Sure we have to live in the society the government created but that doesn't mean we have to let them defeat our spirits. We can make our own pockets of the world and fill it with things that make us happy....like this, this right here, enjoying a festival with people you care about a-and me." he blushed and I felt his hand fall over mine. He was so perfectly cold, I intertwined our fingers to feel more of him. I didn't know how to feel about what he said. It was so intense that I think I was in shock. 'The government owns us but that doesn't mean they can break our spirits, we can fill our own pockets of the worlds with things we that make us happy'. It was kinda like a poem. 

"Oh hey I know this song" he suddenly said like he didn't just dump the biggest thinker on the table. I tuned in to the song that was being sung. "But I want to get next to you, Yeah I love all the things you do. I want to get close to you. You are my dream come true, I want to have sex with you Your sweet caress won't do Cause I'm obsessed with you Cause I'm obsessed with you" they sang and I laughed. Cause it's so Sally. Robert and Ash came back and we enjoyed the funnel cake. I had to take my sweater off and place it over Sal so he could eat it. He didn't want to get dirty and I really didn't care for my clothes. The bands didn't really play good music but Sal was giving a history lesson on the evolution on the guitar. I wasn't paying attention to either, just listening to his deep voice and wondering what if sounds like when he sings. If he sings. I bet it be nice, bet he'd make an amazing metal singer with how deep it was. It was kinda weird for someone so cute and small having such a deep voice but I liked it.


	17. Fuck morals

So I walked him home. I think he got tired of hearing the shitty music which I can't blame him. They were calling punk screamo and I got so pissed. I walked him to his fence and he turned to me. "Welp guess good night" I was still really awkward. Was I suppose to kiss him good night or hug him or just leave. "Ah-w-well i-it doesn't have to be, Y-you could come in for a snack if you wanted" I smiled at him. He was so cute. "What about your dad" I asked not wanting to disturb him. "Do you see his car in the drive way" no I didn't. So he wasn't home. Did he always work this late. What was I really gonna do if I went home it's not like I sleep. "Sure" he hurried to unlock the gate then rushed to the door. He was so desperate to have someone over it was adorable. I fallowed him into the house. Looking at the grey walls again such a deep...."Slate that's the color like a mix between slate and coin" I looked at Sal as soon as I realized I had spoken. He giggled at me then turned to walk into the living room. "I'll make us something easy feel free to explore the study if you want, you might find a book to actually read" he laughed and I rolled my eyes. "Not on anyone's life, the day I read a book is the day the world ends" I joked. But I did walk into the study. 

It was still depressing. The whole room screamed separation. Like his dad just didn't wanna mix his life up with his son. I guess he just wanted to keep his files away from Sal but even the bathroom was divided. I walked over to Sal's side of the room. There was a lot of books on this and that, travel guide, coloring books for adults, true crime stories and horror. There was so much how did he read all of it. Something told me I didn't want the answer. All these books and one stood out to me. It was this teal book with unicorns on it. Fuck he was so cute. It was a written book. I shouldn't, but it was so tempting. What was his mind like. I opened it and proceeded to feel like the worst person alive. I read the first page I opened to and it was just jot notes about me. Hmm so he kept a book about me. I don't know what I expected. Well maybe I can see when the obsession started. I flipped to the front of the book but the formatting was different. 

Dear whatever.

My therapist asked how I was since we started the notary. Great I love re-reading how absolutely depressing everything is. I just adore writing about my mothers death and how the world turned so grey. how not once did my dad visit me in the hospital unless it was a holiday or my birthday, saying it was because of work but I know the truth. He just can't stand looking at me or being around me cause it's all my fault and why save the boy when you can safe the mother and make another. He tells me I'm cynical. Ah duh. You think someone gets torn apart and is just what happy go lucky. I'm angry ok they say it's puberty but I think It's trauma. Shh don't tell anyone they'll throw a fit.'

Geez he really is a cynical person and really sarcastic. Can't blame him though sounds like he's been through a lot. I flipped a couple pages like two before the formatting changed. 

'I'm tired of this. Living in this loveless world. Getting out of the hospital was suppose to be better. But it's not, I'm always alone even with gizmo. He's so self sufficient it's like he doesn't even need me. I'm a joke. Just something to ridicule and taunt. Look at the monster he has to wear a second face. Awe what suicidal get over it quit asking for attention. I really am sick of it all. Not like death will happen to the people around me, dad will be able to come home again and he'll even have a fuzzy friend. Guess that's just me being cynical again. Wanna hear something pathetic. I tried to kill myself. I tied up the noose on the ceiling fan then kicked the chair away. Except I was to heavy and the fan broke off the ceiling and I fell. It fall onto my head and I was stuck on the floor for awhile. Not my first failed attempt. Tried taking my dads sleep meds and I ended up hacking like crazy. Spent the night on the bathroom floor then woke up to gizmo laying on me. I think my issue is I'm trying to be clever maybe I should just cut myself and be done with it. 

So I'll do that or so I thought. Look at me just going through my day and some asshat decides to knock my books down. Really we're down to cliches now. I picked them up and he knocked them down again. That's it I'm gonna scar this boy for life and slit my throat in front of him. But he was knocked into the wall so quick I didn't know that was happening. Suddenly there was a flash of brown and a raspy voice shouting at him to pick up my books. The guy did. He actually picked up my books and handed it to me. "Geez Larry don't have to hit so hard" someone said. "The fuck Johnson crazy son of a bitch", "The fuck you say about my mother" before I could really take in the scene the guys were running down the hall. But I saw the long brown locks. Why did he intrigue me so. Why did I want to get to know him and I don't know analyze him. There was just something about him 'Larry Johnson' 

The term officially started and class 1-A mixed with 1-C to raise the schools IQ. I don't know who thought that one up but he was in all my mix classes. In home ec, in gym, even ate lunch in the grass instead of in his class room. He was just kinda everywhere. Even worked at the store I liked. Well I don't go there anymore but I started watching him from across the street. What possesses someone to punch a guy then force him to behave. It was so sweet. I know how that sounds but it was. I started just observing him. Watching the little things about him. He was so tall and not like the other people. He was curious but not nosy, kept to himself but also got along with everyone. How bazaar. He smiled at me. actually smiled at me and I had to duck into a room because my heart started pounding. Oh god I didn't even know it did that anymore.' 

I skipped ahead cause I felt bad. I didn't remember any of that and I'm pretty sure I didn't smile at him but some guy behind him. Man I was a real jerk.

'He was so familiar and just amazing I want to know him and feel him close to me. Is this love, is this what love feels like oh god its so wonderful I forgot how it feels to love something. Today he hit me with a dodge ball and I thought it was poetic. Like cupids arrow right to the heart. I grabbed the ball and sent it back as hard as I could so he could feel my love to. It knocked him out for a second and he had to go to the nurses office. But I hope he felt it. Felt the way he makes me feel.'

That's where it starts changing formatting. I set the book down on the desk. It was a lot to take in. He was alone, still is alone as I look out at the room. Convinced his dad would rather be anywhere he isn't. Who could blame him it was obvious the man didn't wanna mix their things. Like he wanted to live separately from his son. Being pushed around by the kids at school, even trying to kill himself. I could never see him in that light. He was just to energetic and all over the place. But I guess that's just because he's trying so hard. Trying to keep me safe because I'm the last thing that's giving him life. I don't know what it's like to live with out love. After dad left mom tried her hardest to smother me in it. But I guess it can make you crazy, desperate to have it and never let it go. I can't begin to imagine what that does. All I know how to be is abandoned. Having to act a certain way to keep people close to me or even have them talk to me. It's only been recently I've been letting my emotions run with me and no one likes it. 

Sal wasn't isolating me even though he was hurting people. I was isolating me because I stopped acting the way others want me to. But not Sally, he's been by my side while I lose my shit over and over again. Convinced that I'll fall for him just like he's fallen for me. Becuase I showed him the world isn't so horrible and people can be kind. Theres so much going on in my head I think I might start snapping. I think I'm cracking. Cause this is crazy and I'm so tired of thinking it's crazy. Ineed to leave this room. I exit and walk to the living room. There he is in the kitchen making me another delicious meal. Pouring his heart into it because he knows I'm gonna eat it. He does so much for me, cooks for me, cleans for me, studies with me, keeps me safe, kills for me. I'm sick of morals and right and wrong. I'm sick of fighting myself when clearly all I wanna do is kiss him. Kiss him all over and hold him so close I break. 

I want to love him, I want to let go of reason and just feel his soft skin on mine. Take in his sweet scent and have him be the only thing I taste. Just let go and finally fall into him. I walked over to the kitchen where he was heating something up. He looked at me with those amazing turquoise eyes. Man my heart was beating so fast. "Hey sorry it's taking a bit the mixtures almost done then I can pour it into the tarts" I turned off the stove top. "Ah w-whats wrong don't want tarts, I-I can make something else anything else" he was so eager to make me happy. I wanted to cry. I picked him up and set him on the island in the kitchen. "Whow what are-" I lifted the mask off his face and tossed it. No more masks, no more hiding. I set my hand on his scared cheek purposefully cause I'm not afraid to touch, I'm not afraid to look. "Larry" he asked. I ran my thumb over the uneven skin then leaned down and kissed him. He tensed but relaxed into it. I love feeling him melt under my touch. Just letting me hold him this close. He kissed back and ran his hand up my shoulder. 

I lifted his dress so I could stand in between his legs and be as close to him as possible. How could I resist him when he was so perfect, so devoted and loyal. So sweet and deadly. The shadows in the dark had nothing on him, he was scarier then them and he was mine. I pulled him close and gripped his thigh, such soft skin how did he keep it so soft. He shook under my touch and it made me wanna touch more. I did snap. I pulled back and shoved him down as gently as I could. But honestly my brain was turning off. The second he was down I lowered myself so I was eye level with his crotch. I lifted up his dress as he gasped out nervously. "D-darling what are you doing" he squealed. I glanced at his underwear, another pair of strawberry's of course. I placed my mouth on his hardening cock and he moaned out so loud. It made me lick him through the underwear. "AH~ L-Larry what-" I raised up just a little to take his underwear off. As cute as it was I wanted to taste him. "Giving back" is what I was able to say. He looked so confused. 

I went back down and licked him, sucking a little on his cojones. He was so sensitive, moaning out from that. I wasn't very good at this sort of thing, I've never given a blow job before and I wasn't sure how to. So I grabbed the lotion I had in my pocket. I know how to finger so maybe I can just lick him and finger him. Now I was getting nervous. I squirted some on my hand, no time for shaking man. "Ah L-Larry y-you don't have to" I know I don't, I want to. He makes me feel so good and takes such good care of me I wanna make him feel good. I pressed my finger to his opening as I licked up his shaft. He was shaking so much and whimpering. Fuck it was hot, enough to drive my nerves away. I lathered him then slowly pushed my finger in. He got so loud as he arched his back. "Ah~ darling, Larry th-Ah" I slowly moved in till my finger was all the way in. He didn't tell me to stop or made any indication it hurt so I guess it was ok. 

I started moving my finger around and I felt him loosen around me. He started moving his hips and I had to grip them down which I think he likes. He was moaning so much as I started thrusting my finger in and out slowly. "OOOOh Larry, fu-ck" god I loved it when he moaned my name. My actual name, like a beg a plea for me. It drove me wild. Though everything about him drove me wild. I speed up and started sucking on him, holding him down cause he was wiggling so much. He let out a loud moan and I heard something bang. I quickly looked up and he was holding the back of his head. "Oh are you ok" I couldn't help chuckling. He chuckled as well and smiled so wide. His mouth curving so perfectly as the corners stretched over his cheeks. "I'm fine g-got carried away" he covered his face after speaking. Which I didn't wan't, I wanted to see every expression. "Don't cover your face love I wanna see everything" his eyes widened at my words. "W-what did you-AH~" I didn't give him time. I didn't want to talk right now, just give him anything that would make him feel amazing. Anything that makes him moan my name. 

I thrusted my finger into him, just watching as his eyes became half lidded from the feeling. I teased pressing in another finger, he shook so much and whimpered. Like he wanted it so bad. How can I deny him when he looks so eager. As much as I love hearing him beg I don't want him to feel he has to. Not right now. I slowly added a second finger and he grabbed me as I entered him. "Yes, yes Larry mmmhmm" he was so cute. "Do you like this baby blue" I don't know where the name came from but it felt right to call him that. "Yes s-so much, Love this so much" he was panting so hard as he answered. I leaned down and kissed him. It was suppose to be soft and slight but I lost myself in the feeling of him. I kissed him hard and shoved my fingers in as deep as I could. He gripped me with his legs, wrapping around me and it set me on fire. I pulled back and he let me, moving his legs away.

"I'll make you feel so good, take such good care of you" I kissed his scared cheek. Once I started I couldn't stop, I kissed the scar that ran across his cheek to the corner of his mouth. Kissing the side of his chin then moving down to kiss his neck. Tasting something so sweet on my lips. I couldn't help biting down, fuck I didn't ask first. But he moaned at the feeling. Such delicious moans that sounded like he was melting into every new sensation. I went back to kissing my way down. Kissing his collar bone and his clothed chest. As weird as it was it made his breath hitch so I kept going. I kissed his tummy and he gave a weird noise that was a cross between a giggle and a moan. Ticklish is he. I made my way back down to where my fingers were still thrusting in and out of him. Kissing those glorious thighs as I made my way back to his cock. Licking it once I got over to it. He melted completely at the feeling just letting me do whatever I wanted to him. 

I've never had someone trust in me so much. It was really nice. I went faster on my antics, drinking in every moan and chanting of 'yes,yes' and 'fuck Larry' which really got me going. Suddenly he tightened on my fingers. He tried saying something but all that was coming out was the 'c' sound. Oh he was cumming. I didn't want him to ruin his lovely white dress so I quickly moved my mouth over the tip and sucked a little. It through him over the edge and if I wasn't holding his hips down he would of choked me. Not his fault. "LARRY~" he screamed as he came. Alright it was gross, like really gross. The squirting the taste, the texture. Even though it had a sweet undertone it wasn't enough to be desired I guess. Man how to guys just expect their partner to swallow all the time or just beg to be covered in it. Semen is super gross. But for him I took it and swallowed, trying no to gag or look to disgusted. He was trying to catch his breath as he just fell on the island. I removed my hand. Its all wet, I went to wipe it on my jeans and he suddenly sprung up. "Don't you dare, there is a sink literally right there" he pointed to the sink and I chuckled. No matter how pleasure blown he is, he's still a neat freak and I love it. "Ok-Ok" I turned to the sink and washed my hands. He was funny sometimes, actually a lot recently. I turned back around and jumped into the counter. He was right behind me. Giving me this really love sick look. His pupils, pupil blown wide and heart shaped, actually his prosthetic was heart shaped to and it confused me. Every time. He smiled at me and my heart quickened. Was I getting fear and love mixed up, was I always kinda in love with him but weighed down by my morals. 

"I'm glad you washed your hands, cause I um I want you to pull my hair during this" he was a deep red as he spoke. Uh during what. What. He dropped to his knees and my heart dropped with him. He unzipped my jeans and I gripped the counter for support. Oh god he was gonna suck me off. I really wanted that, to see his curves stretched around me, taking me as much as he wants. But I didn't do all that so he'd do this. "H-Hey It's cool man you don't um I didn't like do that so you'd uh" fuck words were actually failing me as my body flared up. His cold hands pulled my pants down a little and I shivered at the contact. "I want to, I wan't to taste you again, have you inside me, fucking my face and moaning just for me" I shivered at his words. Oh god I want that, I want to feel him all around me. "A-again" I asked as he pulled me out of my boxers. Oh god his hands fuck. He held me and stroked me so lightly. "You don't remember, I was a little mad but you were pretty drugged. Oh but I didn't take advantage I asked first darling, you b-begged me for it" he looked so bashful. He sucked me off before? fuck I really was gonna murder Robert for that. 

"Larry" he called out and I opened my eyes, when did I close them. "You should know I don't have a gag reflex so feel free to fuck my mouth" oh god he was really gonna kill me. What a way to go though. He licked me and I held the counter for support. God his mouth was so warm, of course it was, was I expecting it to be cold. He put the tip in his mouth and licked over it. "Oh fuck" I couldn't help moaning. Fuck he was so good and he barley did anything. He slowly started moving down, bobbing his head. Fuck I think he was teasing me and I so don't care. He can mess with me all he wants, toy with me to his hearts content. I'll let him, I'll let him do anything as long as it's with me. I think I spaced for a sec cause he was now swallowing all of me. "Ah fuck ha ah" I never knew I could be so vocal. He went to move off and I instinctively gripped his hair. I didn't want him to go just yet. I still wanted to feel him over all of me. 

He moaned at the touch and the sound vibrated over my cock. "Ah fuck Sal, d-do that again" he tapped my hand and I had no idea what he was asking. He went back down on me and I couldn't help shoving him down. Fuck be gentle. But he moaned at the rough treatment which caused me to moan. Oh that's what he meant, he wanted me to pull his hair. Right he asked for that didn't he. He tried to swallow and I felt his throat constrict on me. Oh fuck yes. 

He moved back and sucked on the tip then licked it. I couldn't decide what felt better having all of me in him or having him suck my tip. He stayed at the tip not daring to even go halfway. It made me kind of desperate to have him. He looked up at me through his lashes and I got it. He was teasing me, trying to make me lose it and just fuck him. I hope that's what that look said. I grabbed the back of his head and slowly moved forward. I wanted him to have time to stop me if he wanted. But I made it all the way in with no resistance. He moaned at the feeling and it made me lose what self control I was holding on to. I moved back then thrusted back into him, he seemed to relax as I lightly moved. Thrusting into his mouth as he occasionally moaned making me snap my hips at the feeling. "F-fuck Sal, god you'r so perfect, perfect little carino" I didn't want to hurt him but the more he moaned the more I was losing my control. Till I was gripping his hair and actually thrusting into him, losing my self in the feeling. 

"Ah my precious dulce azul, so good to me. So perfect for me tomandome tan nueno" my brain was turning off from how good this felt English failing. Todo lo que quiero es que él, para siempre, me prepare la comida, se ría conmigo, me folle, viva conmigo, mi pequeño esposo. M-mine all mine. Dulce azul bebé todo para mí. Ah joder, me voy a correr. 

I'm gonna cum. Oh fuck. "S-Sal" reboot have to remember English for a sec "correrse, c-cumming I'm fuck" he slammed down on me taking all of me and I held him there, shoving myself down as fuck. "Ah si, joder Sal" he swallowed everything. Just took it so eagerly. I let him go once I was done, feeling my body just lose all strength as he moved off me with a pop. God yes. He licked his lips and giggled. Oh thank god I didn't hurt him. I went to pull up my pants cause I really needed to sit down after tat. That.

He stood up from the floor and silently chuckled as I zipped up. "W-what's so funny" I asked. Gosh he looked more like the Cheshire cat then ever before. Don't think I've ever seen him amused before. "You kinda lost yourself there, started talking gibberish" boy its called spanish. "You mean spanish" his eyes widened and his smile fell which made me laugh. "So you do have gaps in your mind, mister smart ass" so he didn't know what it sounded like, even the basics. "I-I'm sorry-" I used what little strength I had to reach over and hug him. He's so adorable, my cultural dense baby, spending all his time in a garden and not in the real world. 

I kissed his cheek which I realize must have been gross. He hugged me back and nuzzled into me. "Please be patient I'm still learning" he sounded so upset with himself. "Oh carnio it's ok" it just slipped out now. Calling him love and mine and baby blue and sweets. It all just slipped out so naturally. I had to stand up though cause holding him like that was hurting my back. "A-are you still hungry I-I can turn the stove back on" he was so caring. I leaned down and kissed him. Ignoring the me taste on him and just enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine. 

"Ya I'm starving but think I'm just gonna sit on your floor for a sec" I sat on the floor. My legs were really weak and I don't think I had the strength to walk over to the dinning table. He laughed at me, that beautiful deep laugh of his. He went to turn on the stove top and re heat whatever filling he was making. I guess this is my life. Dating a love sick killer. But we're all a little crazy from time to time. Desperate to be wanted in an uncaring world. Desperate to be happy. I'm definitely less scared of the world with him by my side. Less paranoid somethings gonna get me....I am happy, found my own little thing to bring in the sunshine in my own pocket of the world. No plan no more running away from it. Just us. 

here's what Larry's brain said 

(all I want is him, forever, making me meal, laughing with me, fucking me, living with me, my little house husband.

Sweet baby blue everything for me. Ah damn, I'm going to cum)


End file.
